Could you help someone escaping Domestic Abuse??????

[Mamazon]

As im sure your all aware Domestic abuse is a massive problem in our society and resources to help women escape are scarce.
On MN alone there are many many women that are either struggling to leave or have finally left and are now struggling to get settled.

Now Mehdismummy has given me a most fantastic idea and i am keen toput it into action, but i need the help of all of you most fabulous MNers. we all know how generous you are -me more than most- and so i am counting on you to help get this off the ground.

I have an enormous cupboard at my house (it is about the size of a box room almost) and with your friends i hope to fill it with little bits and pieces that women could use as essential items when they first leave. things like clothes, nappies, kettles, pots and pans etc etc.

When a woman leaves these items are invaluable in those early days so i would put together "first day" boxes and post to them.
they could be tailored to theh individual needs of the people in general but basically they could offer a but of support to cover them until community care grants and other funds kick in.

It would be my hope that once we have a core amount of "stock" we could even get a few bits to help from MN supporting businesses.

Now theh idea was only put to me this afternoon so i haven;t quite ironed out all theh kinks but what do we think? anyone have any other bits of advice or things to think about?? or even anything they think they could possibly donate?

What about spare/unused sim cards?

ooh old phones is a great idea! our £1 shop has sim cards so could stock up on those.

Initially it would just be for Mumsnetters but if we had enough of a repsonse and there was enough stock i would gladly help those in need from the local refuge.

I am keen to contact businesses for some more substantial help but as i say, think i may have to be registered as an actual charity in order to get any real help.

Now, next problem.

My address. Obviously i would be running this from home so how would people feel about me rather than emailing out my address, they emailed me theirs and i post them mine?

That way they would only get my address if the one they have given me is correct? just thought it would be safer to have addresses of those who have mine...just in case.

would people think thats an invasion of their privacy and be put off donating do you think?

Mamazon - Women's Aid have an excellent Survivor's Handbook here that you can download and print. Has lots of useful stuff about legal rights, housing options, money, children, etc. Might save you a bit of work?

downloaded that pack already thanks Sospan
I am hoping that i can find some local info for people once i know where they will be as i doubt they will have access to the net once they have left.

Im really excited about this now.
Will tidy the cupboard tomorrow (it's only housing some broken bits i've yet to take to the dump) and then i can start accepting donations.

oooh it feels good to be doing something positive

Mamazon- It wouldn't bother me giving you me address in the way you suggested as long as it was not passed on to anybody else without my consent.
I would also like to be told if you recognised me by my real name/address- I don't think you do by the way but just in case

oh gosh no i wouldn't pass it on to anyone for anything. I was just thinking of ways i could have some kind of security measure before giving out my home address.

I would probably only keep the details for a short while and then shred them along with my own sensetive material.

My name is my email address and i have pic's on my profile so if you thought i may know you you could just use your MN name.

What do you mean by local info? Women's Aid refuges will have a pretty good idea of support available in their area - you can find a list of them here or you could call their Helpline (it's not just for emergencies although it does get pretty busy I think).

A lot of refuges do have internet access so if a woman ends up at one she should be able to find what she needs, staff should be able to help too.

Would it be worth you trying to contact a local refuge to run your plan past them and get an idea of what women will really need? I know that some refuges will already have a stock of certain things but others are harder to get their hands on.

Fantastic idea Mamazon, I would certainly contribute.

Mamazon I have quite a few bits I can donate, clothing, some kitchen bits, some books as well. (i found when I was in a refuge and then moved into my own place that a lack of hifi/tv left me too much time to think/panic. A book to read would have been a welcome distraction.)

I would probably fill my car boot so am happy to drive to met you somewhere convenient if you are happy to do so. I can email you my address so that you can check me out first if that helps.

I have cat, feel free to let me know what you think.

Just seen this, linked from the campaigns thread. Sounds a great idea. I have loads of baby stuff/toys thta I would love to go to a DV place but haven't found a local one yet!
Also, after Christmas might be lots of things we would otherwise take to the charity? I often get packs of toiletries from well-meaning relatives that I can't use (allergies!), maybe others get unwanted pants or socks or something? If we had an alert after Christmas might get some nice new things too??

What sort of things were you thinking? eg towels, bedding, crockery? Clean and not shabby, just not wanted any more?

Basically if the lady is lucky enough to get a place at a refuge she wont need the household bits so books and toiletries would be a welcome comfort and depending on what they were able to bring with them, clothes and nappies etc could be needed.

When they have to move into an empty flat or B&B in such a rished way its those peole that would need the kettle/toaster sort of things. bedding and towels would also be very welcome.

Christmas is a very busy time for Womens aid as its a pressure point for many relationships and for some reason a lot of women find it motivation to leave abusive partners so i would imagine there would be a greater need shortly afterwards.

Unwanted gifts of smellies and other items that a woman in thaht situation would consider a luxury would be great.

Sospan - what i mean is that if she is in a town in essex i could look for information on local furniture charities, church organisations that could offer help, local schools etc. if she doesn't have the internet she may find it difficult to track down such information herself.
even a local area map and library opening times would be invaluable.

yes penona - basically anything you think would be usefull. if you no longer need it, instead of throwing it out sned it to me and i can then forward it to people that are in need.

cheeky bump for the evening crowd

mamazon

maybe a PO box is the way to go for anonymity. It does cost a little, but I would be happy to contribute to the cost of it, just to make it easier for people to donate without you compromising your personal details.

sorry to piss on the parade, but i would worry about a volunteer without the backup of a big charity and its insurance policy and access to a lawyer with regards to electric items - this could be taken further toys etc - but i think thats too far

even in charity shops the electrical items are pat tested - something worth researching.

I could certainly send you some clothes (both for under 5 DSs and adult women) as well as odds and ends of toiletries - I'm an Avon rep and frequently have spare bits and pieces from multi-pack orders etc - all in perfect unused nick. i also have a certain amount of other-brand bath stuff etc that people give me for Xmas but which (with a house ful of Avon stuff) I don't need.
And books - I have tons of books that need purging at intervals.
Oh, and another thing you might want is a stock of sturdy cardboard boxes which, again, I have shedloads of (I usually put them on the local freecycle/swap site and swap them for beer).

I have a feeling you live not too far from me - is it Coulsdon? I could lug stuff over to you/meet you in a public place/even bring a sack ful to the Xmas meet .

Lovely idea. Don't know if taking passports and other legal/important documents is a good idea though. It's a hell of a responsibility and in this day and age of identity theft...?!

hadn't thought about public liabilty. just figured if we did it on a small enough scale it would be more like a friendly heloing hand rather than an official charity.

the legal documents, thats why i said i'd take them as long as they were in a sealed envelope. that way i wouldn't need to see them or have actual access to them, just store them for a while and then forward them on.

SGb - not too far from Coulsden, Im Near Gatwick. yes boxes would be great. was thinking of firing off a couple of emails to removals companies begging but if you have some they'd be great. as would your other offers.

I see what you are saying Mamazon, but you would still be taking responsibility for the docs and personally, I'd be very wary of doing that. People with good intentions are often left scape goats or the brunt of blame. Maybe there is another way of dealing with legal docs ~ just to safe guard yourself?

The idea though is a fabulous one.

I'm sure I can turf out all sorts, would you also need donations towards postage costs? More than happy to help with vouchers too.

Thinking about it, is this something we could do on a regional basis? Rather than just having you collecting/sending, we could have someone in each county running something locally? (DH will kill me for this, he's just got his garage cleared out )

as for the legal stuff: PAT testing and the cost of a PO Box - if people are giving monetary donations via paypal, could there be an option that people could say if they were okay with their donation going towards that kind of thing?

because you'd also have to pay for postage.

It might be worth trying to get some kind of secure weblink set up so that you would only need users to log their request for help and their forwarding address so that you can then send stuff on to them.

(and not just sent up a PO box, but set up a special email address for the purpose)