The MN Mail Column - what we think, and what we plan to do next... part 2

[whataboutthisone]

Firstly, I am a regular but have created a new name for this.

My thoughts about what I know so far:

1. In a much earlier post there was a discussion about a change in T&Cs and whether they are valid or not. Several years ago I took a company to court for a breach of their T&Cs. Their argument was that they had changed T&Cs and my complaint was therefore no longer valid. However, the judge said that because I had not specifically been asked to accept the new T&Cs, I was entitled to rely on the ones I had accepted and therefore I won my case.

1. I choose to post on MN in the knowledge that the details I give are probably just obscure enough to anyone I may know in RL who also posts, so that what I say still effectively remains private. However, that doesn't mean that the same could be said of, for instance, my mother, who reads the DM (!) There is probably just enough about my circumstances that would enable her to put 2+2 together. I would like the option to choose whether or not I let my Mum ( or anyone else in RL) in on certain areas of my life, and there is a real possibility that this hack, has taken that choice away from me.

1. I have never ( and now will never) post asking for advice, but I will also be very careful about offering advice in the future. I, along with many others, occasionally use examples from my life to explain where I am coming from. If I continue to do that, as I said earlier, it is possible that some people would be able to work out who I am. Now, I am not so big-headed as to believe that any advice I offer is worth taking, however, there are many fantastic posters on here who do give amazing and insightful advice based on their own experiences. It would be a real shame if that was to stop because they, like me, do not want to share some of those experiences with the folk they are close to in RL. It would also be a real tragedy if others were prevented from asking for help for the same reasons.

I am very disappointed that any MNer would feel it is acceptable to violate the trust we place in each other on this forum. I do not know who she is. I do not want to know who she is. But I hope she is hanging her head in shame for breaching the trust that has been placed in her by everyone whose words she has stolen to make a few bucks!

No I'm not the official spokesperson

When I say 'we' I am referring to several posters who were discussing her husband earlier

I have just baked a symbolic lemon drizzle cake with help of DS (out first cake making together). Seemed appropriate.

No I'm not any of those things either. I was a regular mumsnetter for a time, but left due to real life issues.

I find it very sad that people expect Justine to cancel her holiday just to pacify a small group of mumsnetters baying for the blood of a DM journo. I think it's far too easy to forget the human beings, the people, behind all of this. After all, we're all just faceless entities aren't we?

"previously they felt things were safe"

Well, that was their misconception. It was never safe.

Why did you come back FC?

What Soupdragon said
What fruitcrumble said

Can I just say that I've not spoken to anyone at MNHQ? I've got no idea what they are up to. I just know that Justine is on holiday. And we ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS go hysterical when Mummy Leaves Us.

(I admit that I may have been involved in cancelling her holiday in August 2007 - sorry about that)

I had started 2 threads previously MP, just to see if Mumsnet was still the community I had left. I saw the stickied thread by pure accident, LH never contacted me about it, in fact we hadn't been in touch for quite a while. I was horrified by what I was reading.

I still think it's hypocritical of some mumsnetters to slag off the DM for its low morals when some of these threads contain in-house spats, personal insults, prejudice, stereotyping, aggressivity and thinly veiled threats.

I'm aware that this is only a minority of mumsnetters, but it does spoil the whole atmosphere of the site for others. Don't worry MP, I've no intention of returning on a regular basis.

Tbh Soupdragon, I don't think anyone really knew if things were safe before or not, what with the cloud surrounding the copyright.

I'm not MNHQ (obviously ) but I don't see why archives are more important than people's very real worries about how their personal information (whether or not they were naive in posting them on an open forum is another matter) may be reproduced without MNHQ's permission. I expect people believed that if MNHQ reproduced posts themselves that it would be done morally, whereas any old rag using what they want to make a story, won't be.

FC I think you are perhaps exaggerating somewhat

If you want all that bad stuff, check out the AIBU boards

These threads are just cheerfully hysterical threads by parents that wish their children were back at school, not all that stuff you are seeing

Who said she should cancel her holiday?

i sit time to invoke cods law?
has anyone mentioend bored housewives today?

TBH, any confusion about copyright is a red herring. They were posting in a public forum, accessible by the world, his wife and their journalist friends.

I'm not talking about the stickied threads MP, there have been many many more on this very topic and they've not made nice reading.

Not that this is exclusive to these threads either. Wasn't there another mumsnetter who left because of threats made? Other mumsnetters who have been unmasked. The Reverend wasn't it, who was forced to change her name?

I don't want to start sifting through Mumsnet history, my point is simply that some mumsnetters do take things too far and yet in the same breath, they slag off the DM for having no standards.

That's all.

Oh so when you stated that LH was approached by the DM rather than the other way round you don't actually know that for sure? As you haven't been in contact with her for quite a while?

So your point was not a point really then?

Yes Soupdragon, that is what I've been saying all along.

Why do people think their posts are so very interesting that the DM will want to reproduce them? And, if the DM did reproduce them, why on earth does anyone imagine they'll be remembered for more than a fraction of a milli-second? Surely our lives really, really aren't that memorable to random readers of the DM?

I am in contact with her now kingcanute, which the one good thing to have come out of this as far as I am concerned.

It's what I've been saying all along too, FC. but some people seem to have their fingers in their ears going "LALALALALA!"

I shall leave you to your ponderings and analysis of what makes a point and what doesn't. I need some chicken for dinner.

mp - am not complaining, simply observing that what it was my own expectations of MN (sleek, sharp, big, organised) which led me to expect something that wasn't there, And suspect that this gulf between the sleek exterior and the string-and-sealing wax interior may be the cause of quite a few misunderstanding when this kind of thing blows up.

FC. It's not the morals of the DM that lots of people object to, it's being linked to its very misogynistic agenda. Quite a specific complaint. Other papers are not whiter than white, but few are quite as dedicated to making women feel bad whatever they do.

FruitCrumble did on the last thread.

They do that a lot do they soupdragon?