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A message from Harriet Harman - Minister for Women and Equality - how is the credit crunch/recession is affecting you and how do you think Government can help?

398 replies

JustineMumsnet · 11/02/2009 20:59

Harriet Harman writes:
We want to protect families from the credit crunch with real help. And we want to hear what Mumsnet are concerned about during this recession; what you want us to be doing about it; and what you want to see changed for the future. Prime Minister Gordon Brown is hosting an international Economic Summit in London (which President Obama will be coming to) in April to agree with other countries how we work together to get the global economy back on its feet and growing again. I want to hear from you and feed your views in to this summit.

Opinion polls tell us that women are more concerned about the impact of the recession than men, is that your view?
Is the recession affecting your family life and if so how?
Are you getting the advice and information you need if you ask for help?
What do you want to see government doing to help with that?
What do you think about bonuses?
How can we help women who want to start their own businesses?

OP posts:
cflops · 23/02/2009 12:07

How can we help women who want to start their own businesses?
You need to look at the resons why women are starting their own businesses, b'cos existing jobs aren't flexible enough for their needs.
Also on a more general point can we PLEASE stop focusing on women as the primary childcarers. The only way women's lives will be improved is if men are allowed to take on equal responsibility, this needs to be led/encouraged by government and employers.

munki · 23/02/2009 16:33

Equal parental leave for mothers and fathers is the only way to tackle employers' discrimination against women - which will certainly bite in this recession. I know this has been fluffed because 9 months leave for mothers only was brought in - extending a year's leave to both mothers and fathers takes away the right for mothers to those 9 months and therefore can't be done under EU law? (I think) I've read that the government are trying to find a way around this - please, please can this be done, if not to help people in this recession then before a new government comes into being (and I think we all know which party) which will try to roll back commitments to parental leave. In the long run, this would be a real tragedy for women in this country.

And can I second others' points about childcare. Childcare becomes more affordable after the age of 3, but maternity benefits end at the age of 9 months - what can be done to bridge this gap for women who cannot afford to return to work? For many people it makes no sense to return to work after having children - but they still struggle. And there are massive strides to be made in securing parents' right to flexible working, but in a way that will not lead employers to further discriminate against mothers.

I would also add that there has to be a way of getting the message across that mothers make valuable employees. I am sick of hearing throwaway comments from people to the effect that they wouldn't employ women of childbearing age (I think that means nearly all women of working age...). There is a PR job to be done, but I'm not sure who should do it.

VintageCarrotTop · 24/02/2009 16:08

We were hit badly before the recession, I became disabled when pregnant and couldn't go back to work! The mind is willing but the body isn't able. My husband has lost one contract and we are having to cut right back on everything (including food). I wanted to start my own business just as the recession hit, can we get the finances? NO! We have turned away £26,000 of customers because we can't get the funding to start the busness! We can't remortgage to fund it because we are not earning enough money now! How are people supposed to try and get off benefit and into the workplace especially when I'm disabled. How are we to get funding for a new business venture?

FlyingSaucer · 26/02/2009 08:45

Tax relief on childcare - on nursery fees or nanny's fees. Mums are taxed for going back to work.

down2earthwithabump · 26/02/2009 21:27

Opinion polls tell us that women are more concerned about the impact of the recession than men, is that your view?
In our household it is even. The recession effects us because of the uncertainty and rising costs. As a full-time mum, I feel in less control to do anything (unless I return to work), but the concern is even.

Is the recession affecting your family life and if so how?
Since my husband is the sole bread winner, Financial Director of a small business, the hours have increased in order to regularly reorganise the business to enable it to stay afloat, and questions have arisen about personally guaranteeing finance in order for the business to get the finance needed from banks, which in the uncertain economic climate could put our house/home at risk. This would cause immense stress should it come to it and is already a concern. He has little time and we have little money in order for us to spend "quality time" to boost family relationships. (I have an 18 month old and decided that I couldn't afford AND didn't want to go back to work once our DD was born). We have no family holiday booked yet this year and I would love to create those memories for our little one. We will probably find a cheap option within the UK (which is our normal plan, but this year even cheaper!) It has been an added pressure and concern on top of being fairly new parents.
As a full-time mum, I feel in the minority compared with other mums I know, and yet I firmly believe that whilst women should have the opportunity to employment, women should also have the right to spend time loving and bringing up their kids if they choose. There should not be pressure either way, but recognise that either option is a tough one and to have Government support in their policy making.

Are you getting the advice and information you need if you ask for help?
Yes as a business but not sure as a household/family what help there is and where to go to ask for it. I do think the extra help for nutrition for expectant mums is good, but I don't currently qualify personally.

What do you want to see government doing to help with that?
It seems that the (and any previous) Government has done little or nothing to help small businesses in the UK, even in the more prosperus times. Although some things are being done now, there needs to be a permanent recognition of the importance of small business in the UK. Until banks and finance companies start lending and people start to buy cars, my husband's business is going to struggle.

What do you think about bonuses?
We will have one whenever it is going!! Senior Execs who have presided over companies who haven't performed should not get bonuses. Any bonus that doesn't encourage people to be responsible with their company's money is bad. If there are bonuses for lesser paid people who have performed well in their business as by way of encouragement and recognition, then these are fine.

How can we help women who want to start their own businesses?
Increase links so that women can get advice and link up to make it happen. (For example, matching the woman with the unique idea with someone who has the experience to turn ideas into profitable businesses and someone who has the finance or financial know-how. Clearly explain/publicise any financial help available.
And get large businesses to offer help and guidance to women who could provide new business that could complement the service already provided by the larger business. Better access to child-care for part-time workers. Not all mums want to work full-time but at the moment working part-time only just covers child-care costs so there is little incentive to make life more complicated.

Sorry the answers are longer than some, but I value the opportunity to give feedback. Thanks for asking.

Mumnnanny · 26/02/2009 22:22

The recession has hit my family big time.
My partner has recently lost his job as a Doormen as pubs n clubs are cutting back.

We have a 1 yr old little girl and we wished it was not so hard for us all.
18 months ago we were fine. I had a very good job as an administrator for a property developers plus I worked as a nanny for the boss's children.

Then the credit crunch struck and I was made to leave, although I was paid compo, not near enough, as I was expecting a baby and no one wants to employ a pregnant 19yr old.

After 3 months off work My old firm (a small chemist) took me under thier wing. PART-TIME, nill hours, min salary. I worked for them for 5 months before leaving to have my baby girl. They promised I would have my job back when it suited me. So I took my maternity leave...paid by the government- I could never of got by without this £112.00 a week. 9 months passed and my old firm decided they didnt need me anymore - even though they trained me up as a fully qualified medicine interact assistant, costing them money! I was angry and upset as I couldnt afford to give my daughter what she needed.

SO Now... were on benefits, costing other taxpayers hard earned cash that they need right now. We are being forced out of our privately rented accom. into cheaper resorts. We have had to apply for crisis loans to pay the rent and even our gas and elec.

We have applied for so many jobs and not one has come back with good news. Even though both my partner and I are qualified for the jobs.

I had to sell my £2000 car for a mere £350 just to pay the rent.

We are subjected to special arrangments with our loan companies.

We have conceived sooo much stress over the past 18 months, and having a new baby did not help - but made us stick together and get through it.

We say to each other everyday that the government need to hang up thier wages and see what it is like for us ordinary people just trying to get by.

I say:

  • Councils should cut the amount of civil enforcement officer aka. traffic wardens. In Birmingham there are at least 11 wardens in the same 1 mile radius. That's around £180,000
  • Make people who receive benefits work for it but pay them a little bit more. That way jobs get filled, people aspire and it doesn't cost the government anything.
  • Gordon Brown should visit us, and hear our views. Not just act on what he thinks is happening.
  • Save money by building a prison with 4 walls, 30 stories high with box rooms. Chuck all the waste of spaces in thier, stop giving them t.v's, playstations and nice food. Prison is prison.
  • Cut council Tax by at least 25% as round my area, well we have pot holes in our roads that ruin our cars - and costs us MORE money. I have seen 2 community police officers in the 6 months I have lived here, yet it's a high crime area. I don't feel safe walking the streets at all.
  • Stop paying for children to get abortions, and start teaching abstinence and good values instead of 'how you have sex'. Kid's need guidance and love from the family and the support networks around them, not free condoms in school and a free abortion in 2 days. Where has this country's morals gone. Gordon Brown needs to look at the real issues - and I could offer so much advice to him.

My list goes on and as I hear the words I say in my head, although it makes me upset it also strengthens me to the core.
I know that Gordon Brown alone is not going to be able to pull us out of this on his own. I feel we need to do it ourselves.

I know that this is God's plan. The world has become to technical, computerised, un-ineractive with life itself. Wow I can talk.
We need to start from scratch again.

Quattrocento · 26/02/2009 22:37

"MP's are voted in,so are probably the most rigorously assessed people in a job, in its own way"

I am deeply cynical about our electoral processes. MP's get selected by a process that involves smoke, mirrors, and central office. They then get elected by the minority of electors who still turn out to vote. Those electors would (and you might argue that they frequently do) vote for donkeys wearing the right colour of rosette.

Then these fairly hapless MPs end up in Westminster. There they get the most enormous salary ever seen for unskilled middle-management, massive pension entitlements and eyewatering expenses. And do many of them even begin to understand the first thing about the economy? Because I don't think they do.

Popi70 · 26/02/2009 22:57

My DH is self-employed and a home worker and his job has not been affected by the recession - yet! I have a 14 months old baby and I am looking for a job for the last 5-6 months. I am also start taking steps for starting up my own business with another friend in a similar situation and with similar skills and interests. Childcare is a big problem for me. Where I live, there are not enough childcare places available as soon as you need them, and they are expensive. Now, Sure Start Children Centres, Tax credits, extended and better paid maternity leave, free early years education and childcare places extended to 2 yrs old are all fine things and thank you very much for these. BUT it would have taken one and one investment only for the government to improve the lives of families more so than all other initiatives put together: quality state funded and state run full-time childcare+education provision delivered by highly qualified professionals who are paid well. Then it would be up to each family to decide whether and how much they want to take advantage of the provision.

sorryihaventaclue · 28/02/2009 11:15

have we been credit crunched? err, yes....but not as badly as some (yet). Our house is valued as in negative equity; we are both on pay freezes and bonuses no longer applying even though last year (and they're retrospective) the company did well. I had ear marked the bonus to help with childcare for one of our children.

Meantime, nursery fees have gone up 10 % and my train fare has gone up to £345 a month from £330 a month to subsidise a high speed train which i will never be able to afford.

Whilst i'm here, why do childcare vouchers only apply to one child? The tax break per child would really help. Because to be honest, with a toddler and baby at nursery, it's all feeling a bit crap. I have £68 disposable income each month, and yet "on paper" i'm a higher than average earner.

My beautiful, much longed for children are more than worth it, but things are becoming a struggle and they certainly won't know what a holiday actually is until they're both at school. And by holiday, i mean a week away to the coast or something.

Really not doing the big hard done by, i have friends losing their jobs and my company have already made some redundancies with more to come i suspect, so i know we're lucky in many respects.

beepbeep · 01/03/2009 13:13

DH & I are both in the police and feel our jobs are relatively secure, however, I work 27hrs a week and all but £100 of my income a month goes on childcare for our 2 DCs. Some assostance in this area would help ALOT, it's great that we get some help at 3, but what about the years before that when we are encouraged to return to work? Also when they are 3 and thinking about preschool, I will have to cut back my hours in order to get them to school and pick up (currently doing 9hr days).
Also very aware of increase in fuel, the new tax has hit low & part tme earners - ie alot of working mums, the new tax on cars includes most MPV - families again. It just feels like everytime there is a tax increase it is families who are hit, in particular families like ourselves who do not earn a bad wage, so do not get family tax credits, but that means we struggle to pay for everything each month. A couple I know with 3 children on benefits have a much more comfortable life than us which seems very unfair.
I feel that DH and I work very hard for an average wage and money seems such a struggle each month and we are def not extravagant people, been no holiday for last couple of years and won't be for forseeable future, nor any other luxuries, we are lucky if we gat out to the cinema once every couple of months.

Bookish · 04/03/2009 17:44

The recesssion is affecting us because we have less disposable income, both our jobs are under threat and we have pretty much decided not to have another child because we are so worried about the future. My husband and I argue more and are tetchy with each other because money's tight and child care costs are a considerable part of our monthly income, and we don't earn huge amounts. I work on a tight food budget and always take a calculator/ use the net/ go to cheaper discount shops. I don't know what can be done to stop the rot but it really is all pervasive.

treedelivery · 05/03/2009 21:55

The credit crunch has not affected us as we do not rely on credit, the collapse of the economy has, as we do rely on that.

We are not in debt [but have a mortgage] but the collapse of manufacturing [husbands sudden redundancy] has ripped our family to shreds. This

will result in much reduced maternity leave for me, cutail my baby's exposure to breast milk - which is in my view a crime agaist her - and tip me into depression.
to
So take that reality of sexual equality and fix it as some half arsed tax credit doesn't seem to be helping.

sleeplessinwales · 06/03/2009 22:28

The credit crunch is affecting us because of the worry about the future and the stress of keeping everything going right now. We have both increased the work we do by taking on extra jobs, because prices of everything have risen and because individual jobs are so unstable. In my main job all staff had to drop their hours and pay, so I had no choice but to find more work. This has increased the stress between us and with the children, although we try not to let it show. My main worry is about what happens after this period, when the government have to think about clawing back all of the money that's been thrown at the banks. I'm sure interest rates will go through the roof, which will mean we might not be able to afford our mortgage any more. Rather than propping up the banks with such a staggering amount of money, they should have nationalised them and spent the majority of the money on helping businesses and families more directly. And as for this latest call to build thousands more houses when all the new houses around us are standing half-built and empty - what madness is that?? I hope the government learn from this experience and don't let it happen again.

newatthis1981 · 06/03/2009 23:25

we have no debt, i work 15 hours for local authority and my partner is a self employed electrician. Our mortgage has went down by 100 per month in the last 12 months but my shopping bill and gas/elec bill has demolished that money and then some! we are just keeping our heads above water by buying shops own brands and smart food shopping i.e local farm shops and butchers. we have a tax bill coming up in april that we are extremely worried about - and to top it all off my tax credit went down this month to £35 and i need that extra cash. Give us a tax break or even a council tax break! we pay out over £1100 in bills now and that includes NO wasteful items - we are very careful! I don't know how others are managing as i think we're lucky in the sense we have no debt - we are determined not to borrow our way out of this but it is becoming increasingly difficult. Just a couple of months off from our over taxed society would be enough to get our bank accounts over £0 by the end of the month

iseo94 · 07/03/2009 00:12

No I don't think women worry about the recession more than men, we probably deal with it differently.
Yes, we are affected by the recession. My husband has just been laid off from the Olympic site in London, the biggest construction site in England at the moment. Apparently there is lots of work to do but no one is signing the orders, the people that are working there are foreign!(health and safety signs are in Polish, too!) The big foreign firm in charge and all the consultancy firms connected with MPs (round the back door) have bled the pot dry and I dare say their probably waiting for more money from the government (British tax payer) to carry on, after all, it has to be built, right? What's the point in sinking the tax payers money into the banks, when their not helping us, the customers? I read on a blog recently that the mortgage companies were trawling through old mortgage applications and picking up on discrepancies and using them to default the mortgage, obviously, no one can get a new mortgage so they repossess on the quiet.I was in a county court two years ago and the board was full of Northern Rock and Halifax cases, this trouble has been brewing for a long time but it has been hushed up, and when you've got work it's not affecting you too much, but when you haven't and you know the bank is hanging over you like a vulcher it's sickening.
Our own small businesses should be our first port of call when it comes to assistance,men or women, what's wrong with companies who earn GBP? Lets recycle some of that GBP and stop sending it abroad, that's why we're printing more!
Free childcare for workers and those that want to retrain, help the people that want to help themselves! We don't all want to become scroungers off the state! The few are getting richer and the divide is getting bigger, which spells trouble for everyone.

VoodooTheOriginal · 09/03/2009 15:03

The recession is affecting our family life, we are on a tight budget as I am coming to the end of my 9 months paid maternity leave. Luckily my employer was incredibly flexible to accommodate my new working hours to work around my kids and husband as we have no spare money for any kind of childcare, and closest family is 70miles away
This equates to buying less food, sticking to value brands, using value clothes stores ie Matalan, Asda, Tesco.
I feel my husband and I are equally concerned about the recession, he is an engineer and the spectre of redundancy haunts that industry
Even my job, in high-end retail is not 100% secure as I always assumed it would be, especially if things worsen considerably.
I still think young new parents need more help with claiming all benefits they are due, systems could be simpler
ie the working tax credits seems very complex and if you phone them to say you are going on/off maternity leave on x date, they ask you to call back after the event as they can't put future changes on the system...meaning I had to go through all the rigmarole again one week later, seemed a waste of time for them and me.
Government could help with tax breaks for married couples who can prove they are married and cohabiting to bring up children,

The government needs to forget the ID card plan, and plough that money back into services
Bonuses are an important tool to attract the best talent, but need to be controlled by tough laws from the FSA, a cap on top % bonus earned for all executives. If the bank or financial institution in question is now nationalised/ part nationalised, bonuses should be even more tightly controlled.
Equally important is controlling the 'golden handshakes' and the cast iron pensions
Aside from the bankers...government ministers themselves need to be completely beyond reproof and be seen to be honest and open and lose this scandalous image we all have of you robbing us blind by claiming inflated expenses, claiming false housing expenses, claiming anything you can get your sticky paws on.

finally... we have had our house on the market for over a year now, it has lost over 30k of its value at the height of the market, we are not in a desperate situation to move, thankfully, but need to relocate as soon as possible.
Could the government do more for home owners, maybe start a scheme to buy houses to rent to all the illegal immigrants/terrorists that are being allowed to stay?! Don't they need somewhere to live! You would know where they were if you did that....

changemaker · 02/04/2009 12:49

I've just found out that the World Development Movement, always a peaceful and justice focused organisation who stand up for the world's poorest people, has been blocked from entering the G20. They have been given no reason, and are the only NGO that have been declined. I think this is outragous. What kind of police state is the UK becoming? The UK is rapidly loosing it's status as the cornerstone of democracy.

SalBySea · 02/04/2009 12:56

The credit crunch has not left us destitute but we are always pretty tight and sensible with money so whilst our friends are adjusting to having to budget, we are just carrying on as normal

However, we wanted to move in a year or two but now that our index linked savings have plummeted and interest on cash savings is terrible that doesn't seem likely.

If savers were offered better deals we might be able to help the economy recover by spending our savings and interest on houses and cars etc but that's not going to happen as our money is just not growing (and some of it has shrunk)

There just aren't any decent savings options out there

Housemum · 02/04/2009 13:21

OK, have not got time to read all 8 pages, but I shall stick my beak in.

The reason for all this trouble is life is too BLOODY COMPLICATED! Every 5 minutes an amzing new initiative seems to be launched, with it's own new acronyms and jargon - no one understands what is going on so they nod and agree until it all goes tits-up (see child tax credits, CSA, ASBOs etc etc). It's like when Excel first arrived in peoples' offices and all of a sudden everyone was creating unnecessary spreadsheets just because they could, without thinking how many other people were affected, or even knew what was going on. Tax and benefits should be one clear system, with tax thresholds set, and a straightforward benefits system based on what you earn. The child tax credits are a nightmare - so much to wade through, and I consider myself to be reasonably intelligent (A level educated, worked in finance), so how on earth would I be sure I was getting my entitlement if I was not well-educated and didn't particularly stay up to date with the news?

Banking - at the upper echelons the products/arrangements were so far removed from reality that people seemed to have lost sight of the fact that it is basically about lending money out based on the money people have lent (deposited with) you and making a turn on that. Simple.

Bonuses and bankers - will everyone stop tarring the whole industry with the same brush!! If the bank made a profit, without taking taxpayers' funds, why should they as a company not be able to distribute their profits as their shareholders/management team see fit? I wholeheartedly agree that those in higher positions who were involved in the catastrophic packaging of these on-sold toxic debts etc should be called to account and not receive a bonus, but if a local manager (and in business banking it is not all computer-driven and the managers do know their customers personally) has delivered on his targets for the year, by providing appropriate products and services, then why does he deserve to be penalised? The bonuses are generally not a percentage of a salary (only speaking from personal experience here) but as a share of the "pot" allocated to your team. So if the bank hasn't done well, or even your whole team hasn't, but you are the best performer, you get the best share but only out of a small pot.

I hope that the credit crunch will make a lot of people think long and hard about how we have all let the buy-now-pay-later mentality spiral out of control. A return to saving for things (assuming interest rates ever help in that!) is no bad idea.

Tax - a return of the married couples' allowance would be a huge help to a lot of families.

must be more to say but DD3 is yelling (apologies if some of ramblings incoherent but she was starting to stir and I was hoping for a few more minutes..)

Abip · 21/04/2009 22:56

You know what, i have had the childcare migraine from hell today and have been ranting to my poor partner. I stumbled upon your website trying to search to see if the council provided any sort of childcare grant. Let me put you in the picture .... My husband walked out four years ago leaving me in a ton of debt which i consequently had to go bankrupt for. I have been debt free for the last three years, myself and two children. I actually have a half decent job thats pretty secure and i have a good disopsable income left after paying childcare. But can you beleive this... Myself and my partner want to move in together. I merely rent a council house and he joint owns a property. Myself and two children are moving in with himself and his two children. I lose £540 per month and would not be entitled to any help from child tax credit. This is insane!!! Surely everything that this country stands for goes out the window. The cost of putting my children in to breakfast and after school club and holiday schemes comes to £89.00per week for 52 weeks a year. Now i can change 55 per week into childcare vouchers which saves me £950 but i cannot afford to. £950 is nothing when your childcare for the year comes to £4650!! I just cant beleive it. I have worked since i was 15 years old and only stopped to give birth. It seems i would be better off sitting on my ass claiming benefits ridding the tax payer of their hard earned cash. What incentive is it for any working mother, to know that they will lose so much by becoming part of a family. Family britain i think not. Credits are hard to understand, and when you seek help, the professionals know less than you do so you end up telling them how to do their job! I have spent today searching internet sites and ringing enquiry lines that keep transferring me to find out the following. I am not entitled to tax credits even though my partner and i are not rolling in it. I am entitled to child care vouchers which gives me a £950 tax refief. Was i mistaken or did the government want mothers to return to work. In my opinion dont bother. Unless you can get a job at your childs school (which i have tried and many other local schools) its just not viable. The childcare either costs more than you earn or takes your pride away and you become bitter from working your ass off for £100.00 per month. Surely they can come up with some better way of helping the working family. £950 tax relief a year is pants. We have worked out i would be marginly better off staying exactly where iam and also paying my half of the mortgage!I just dont know what to do next. Still i love my children dearly x

Naiivegenius · 31/07/2011 02:58

Notes of a 48 year old UK woman. This common and everyday female experience might sound dramatic to some but i believe it is neither unusual or extraordinary and I tell it not for any sympathy but simply to inform you of my experiences growing up in the UK.
12 years old (student) repeatedly fight off male family friend - attempted rape. Too scared, shocked, ashamed to say anything, hide, silently under the bed whenever he visits our house.
16 years old (worker) left school, first job - boss offers to pay rent in return for sexual favours - declined/sacked.
17 years old (worker) suffer ectopic pregnancy receive Get Well Soon Card from the father with the simple message "Pull yourself Together". Heartbroken.
23 years old (homeowner and worker) beaten and raped in car park by drunken boyfriend angered at alleged flirting, break up. Heartbroken. He dies of a drugs overdose.
25 years old (self-employed) FINALLY, meet a good guy and settle down.
30 years old (self-employed, parent of one child) take 3 weeks off after birth of first child and return to work. Discover that partner has had sex with prostitute, break up. Heartbroken.
37 years old (engaged, self-employed, parent of 2 children) breakdown of second relationship due to partners many admitted infidelities and his sudden and urgent desire to leave us, he takes all our savings (engaged/not married loophole) and buys 7 acre farmhouse. Heartbroken. Contact local Council re. emergency housing/sheltered accommodation - instead borrow deposit from mother to buy a property. Make private arrangements for maintenance from 2nd father and offer him shared care. Contact CSA regarding maintenance from 1st father. Told by the CSA that private arrangements not recognised now and they must make all assessments.
40 years old (self-employed parent of 2) offered work in US and an O1 working Visa, second parent takes me to Court to prevent me taking second child. I offer to pay for any flights. I have offered shared care. Up to this moment he sees child at his own convenience, chooses to live 3 hours from us, so removes himself from any day to day responsibility and pays minimum CSA, cash in assets loophole. Receive nothing from 1st father through the CSA. Judge is supportive but says that I must return after 6 months. I return after 3 months. Spend next 7 years flying back and forth to US and Europe, leaving children with supportive sister and expensive childcare in order to provide for family. Both fathers refuse to get involved in childcare. Clock up over 500,000 air miles! The fathers continue to see children at their own convenience, although children ask for much more contact and I support them absolutely in this but I cannot compel their father to see them. First father is now registered heroin addict.
Against all odds,
47 years old (self-employed, single parent of 2, homeowner, 2 properties, Director of Limited Company earnings, six figures) first child gains 13 GCSE's, 10 A's, 1 A*. Fantastically proud but now have to find £9000 per year tuition fees plus rent etc. for 3 years, relieved I can afford it! CSA contact me to say that they have made an assessment and that first child's fathers arrears of £12000 will be paid at £5 per week, this will take 46 years, she will be 64 years old! He will be 92! They agree that this could be sense as unfair and suggest that I apply for compensation.

So people, bear in mind that life doesn't always work out as you would like it to. Talk is cheap and it is your gestures and actions that will be remembered. Knee-jerk reactions are seldom dignified. Cut people some slack. Don't be too quick to judge parents. Make the best of what you have. Don't be a victim but don't seek revenge. If you believe there is injustice, do something about it.
What has kept me going? I don't know. But this quote, has inspired me and got me through some rough times.
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win".
Mohandas Gandhi.

Orbinator · 31/07/2011 03:52

By not spending any more of our money on the ridiculous HS2 rail link to save us 15minutes. £800 million before any track is even laid is more than enough thank you. How to waste over £17 bil of taxpayers money and ruin our countryside

Instead prioritise things that matter, such as re-opening the Birthing Centre in Canterbury where a relatively large population with a rising birth rate is now having to rely on a town over 30mins away because the NHS have been tasked with saving £1.5 mil (a snip in the scheme of the £800 mil already spend on the twaddle above) with a rising birth rate. Surely health and safety as well as choice for all of these families are more important than 15 minutes commute? Leaving a town with no where to give birth is archaic. 400 midwives employed is not the same as the nearly 4,000 Cameron promised, don't think people haven't noticed.

Priorities people, please!

HarrietJones · 31/07/2011 04:49

Good comments but thread is from last year.

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