If you (still) feel the need to discuss Moldies, please do it here so folks can hide this if they want to.

[LittleDonkeyCarrieMaryMumsnet]

Well hopefully the title says it all. There's been a suggestion, and we agree, that as we did with Baby P and the Mc Canns we just have one thread where anyone who feels they still have anything to add on this subject can post and those who'd rather move on can hide it away.

It feels strange to put this thread in site stuff as we are definitely not wanting to encourage further discussion of Moldies (we have presents to wrap too you know ) but we weren't sure where else to put it.

We will delete any new Moldies threads that are started, so please feel free to report them in case we miss any (what with wrapping the presents and all...)

And if you do want to carry on the discussion please remember that Mumsnet's here to make everyone's lives easier and not the reverse, and that Christmas is a time of goodwill to all mumsnetters past, present and future

Thanks,
MNHQ

How is your dd NMC - did the doc show?

Oh my God, we're screaming troll for the millionth time in 2008. Why am I not surprised. Maybe THAT's why MN is going to the dogs.

Northern- when is anyone of a new name EVER taken seriously on here? Everyone has to prove themselves and arse suck for a good few months before anyone else will even consider listening.

what are plastics?

dont think we had those at my school

we jsut had skinheads and hippies, christians and sporty people

That's bollocks actually. Stop having histrionics and provide some solid facts and I'm sure people won't scream troll.

I couldn't possibly comment NMC, but recommend you bring a change of clothing for you & DD

D'you know what? This is really pissing me off right now.

Mumsnet has been made to look like it's dominated by swearing, airheaded, middle class mothers in The Independent with nowt better to do than stomp around in their Boden jeans having a tant about a group of anonymous posters on a parenting site.

I'm sure that for the Moldie members it must be lovely to be able to discuss personal things in private and confidence without some name changing troll pissing all over your posts. It must be lovely to disclose your thoughts and problems with like-minded friends without worrying about it being taken the wrong way or having those dreaded Mumsnetters that you don't like, daring to come onto your thread.

As a lot of us who have been on Mumsnet for many years, it does hurt to have people name-changing to make personal and very hurtful attacks on you, which I presume never happens on Moldies.

So may I make a suggestion? Instead of bickering like the loons The Independent clearly think we are, how about we make Mumsnet even better? A site we can be proud of and feel safe posting on?

MNHQ - is there any way that name-changers who do so to personally attack other posters, can have a stiffer punishment? Perhaps banning from the site with no warning? Is there any way we can make Mumsnet a nicer, safer place to post?

Because right now, all we seem to be doing is giving the Moldies justification for the existance of their site.

I'm sure we'd all like to be able to post without fear of being personally attacked or having our real life covers blown. So why don't we work towards that this New Year? Because if I wanted to join Mumsnet right now for some support and advice, I'd be really put off.

And isn't that what Mumsnet is for? For people who are struggling, who need a bit of support and advice? Who can liaise in confidence with other parents and share experiences, problems and achievements? If I wanted a little forum to just talk to friends I can set one up, but I joined Mumsnet to get help and advice and to offer some where I could. I still get a kick out of feeling that my post has really helped, that my contribution has been worth something to someone. And whenever I have an issue, Mumsnet is one of the first places I turn to for advice and support.

Let's keep it that way shall we?

Who's with me on this one?

Piffle, i knew that another group existed, i thought it was the one STg set up. I Didn't know that there was a group, that friends were part of, that i had been 'nominated' for and declined - i knew nothing of it.

INfact i only found out the latter ( for sure, i knew already) this very day.

It does however surprise me, that considering it happened - that certain people want to talk to me IRL, respect me IRL? ( certainly enough to talk about some deep issues)

yet want to be part of a forum that operates like this?

its black and white for me, maybe its shades of grey for other people - maybe its my northern upbringing that makes it so cut and dried? maybe its becuase i am provincial and not a city gal - becuase i think its fickle in a way others don't. i truly don't know.

but if online friendships are as valuable to those people who imply them to be, then how can one be friends in a bar, knowing that the friend you are talking to is excluded from the club you are a part of?

i can't get my head around it piffle.

---

lockets, it was meant to be a secret, it was a badly kept one. I think it was Aitch ( sorry if it wasn't) who corrected posters on another one of these threads who said it wasn't- and she said that there was an incident where people on Moldies, were refering to posts on MN about the not-yet- really- kinda - talked - about - not known - for - sure group. with "phew that was a close shave" ( or something similar)

another post i read was from a member saying that her only regret was that she couldnt invite some of her MN friends.

---

there is an 'i didn't know m'lud' defence, and only the very brave (OMB, MP...is there anyone else?) have deregged from that site when they found out how things operated.

Others now know this and remain.

that says enough for me.

Yes that's a bit much . Has no bearing whatsoever I think.

You can choose to move on you know? I sorta understand why I was lefta side; fr4om what I can guess a lot of the Moldies are thes tyle sorta chaps. Well I have my odd foray there but not often; then the widows I can understand although I was a bit sad that taking refuge from the numpties meant I was also left aside- but again, i totally understand.

OTOH I think most poeple know me and I'd suspect you'd have to be ahrd to understand why i wouldn't be hurt, at least.

And that's where it has to end. I can waste time getting into fights or register a big at it all and move onwards.

If there are any specific reasons I wasnt chosen- if I have upset anyone in the past or anything then I would like to know so I can rectify it.

Also there are many posters I would hate to never speak to again and I guess I am worried they will Moldie-Off - Misdee, MB, Aitch, Dino, and a great many others I can't be arsed to list but will have had chats with me in the past. I'd hate them to vanish off my radar.

So if I upset anyone the other day I apologise. I did make a specific effort to excplain why I was feeling vulnerable at that time but I am not proud of myself for one or two posts. OTOH I know I can come over a bit puritanish at times so maybe a touch of human failing was needed .

i'm now in e-mail touch with one moldie I got on with for ages which is fab, and I hope that if any others I 'know' eave MN they will email me too from time to time.

I don't need to prove myself as a non-troll to anyone! I'm me! I'm telling you I'm not a troll and that should be enough! Unlike the moldies club, MN is supposed to let people be themselves, and come here for parenting advice, not bitching and bullying.

Perhaps I should have put my post in a different thread as it's clearly going to be overlooked on this one.

well if you would like some parenting advice then can I give you a motherly word to the wise? Stop bitching and bullying yourself and go play somewhere else.

oh right we didnt have size 0 either

or boys for that matter

I disagree MumofBaby. I have been around for years and years, post now and again for a while and then RL takes over for a bit. I regularly name change for personal RL reasons (no big secret or mystery, just require my privacy). While I agree that people do tend not to notice your posts as much when "new" or "newly changed name", I have never ever been called a troll. Not once. I do not go out of my way to avoid or cause confrontation and do not "suck up", just am myself.
While unknown people may find their posts are not commented upon as quickly as well known posters, that is to be expected. It does not mean you have to "prove yourself" or "suck up".

I am tempted by the 2009 Christmas food fight meet up. Might be enough of a temptation to break cover and shyness just for once

The Independent are clearly onto something.

Cliff, I agree with you completely.

northern - doc eventually found us. reckons dd has a sinus infection which triggered the seizure. So we now have luridly coloured antibiotics. dd turned into laughing happy child as doc entered the room and resumed wan 'on deaths door' child when doc left

I am going to try and make the meet up in 2009 also, it did clash this year so will have to see.

mumofbaby yet you're are bitching and bullying?

(NOTE the thats a bit much on my post was to the comment on parentinga bility)

FWIW

There's a thread on AIBU right now from someone who has been called a troll and she is upset.

I change my name because I talk about my family, my in laws, my , and I don't actually want people knowing very personal things about me so it's best to name change. I wouldn't discuss these things with people in RL, to me, that is what MN is for. So I'll name change all I want, and I won't be revealing my history to you Northern. Maybe you should go and play elsewhere. Why should I? Simply because I have an opinion on feeling excluded and ignored.

I changed my name because I as ashamed of losing it the other day.

but popped it on my profuile so am not hiding just ditching negative connotations IYSWIM

I don't know, I have found the new name thing is real. I've been away for ages and only just come back. But when I've changed in the past for personal stuff then forgotten and posted something slightly more typical on a nonsense thread then yes, you do feel like a newbie trying to butt into a conversation, and if you are "strong" because you've forgotten that nobody knows you, and then it doesn't often go down so well.

I totally agree with Rhubarb.

This thread is mindblowing. my politely read but ignored by all but one call for peace