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Threads from sensitive topics appearing in active

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LadyGreyjoy · 05/10/2025 10:32

Hi Mumsnet

I posted in the donor conception topic on the infertility board asking if others had experienced the large volume of hurtful and upsetting comments and opinions on donor conception that I had. I wanted to talk to other donor mums and share experience/have a bit of solidarity after seeing posts about donor conception I found upsetting elsewhere on the site.

Cue an influx of posters coming to berate me for using an egg donor and give their opinions on how wrong and awful it is and several hurtful comments about my child. I asked why posters so opposed to donor were on the donor conception board and was told by several posters that the thread appeared on active so they chimed in. Sadly, there wasn't a single post from another donor mum which is the community I was trying to connect and discuss with so I may as well have posted in AIBU.

I have seen SEN parents in the post say that they wished threads on the SEN boards didn't appear in active for this exact reason and now I understand why.

Why can't the more sensitive boards be set up so that the threads don't appear in the active stream so that only people who seek those boards out who hopefully have good intentions and similar experiences engage with the threads there?

I certainly won't be looking for infertility support on MN again after my experience.

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MNHQ

BeckyAMumsnet · 06/10/2025 10:32

Hello @LadyGreyjoy we’re really sorry you had that experience and it’s completely understandable that you found it hurtful when you were looking for empathy and connection, not debate. The Donor conception board is meant to be a place where people can share support and perspectives and not a place to revisit wider arguments about donor conception itself.

You’re right that appearing on Active can sometimes draw in posters who don’t have that shared understanding. We’ll now remove the board from Active and make its purpose clearer. Several other sensitive boards, including SN children are already treated in the same way for exactly this reason.

Thanks for taking the time to share your feedback. It’s really helpful and will guide how we make these boards work better for the people who need them most. We hope you’ll consider posting again in future, as your perspective is exactly what helps others feel less alone.

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