what on earht are you all doing wih tis suiceide stuff

[FluffyMummy123]

Message withdrawn

But what if they couldnt come here, and be told to go see their gp, get councelling, etc. That is usually what happens!

I dont think anybody has tried to be a hobby psychiatirst, but to lend a listening ear, show understanding and support, AND tell them to GET REAL LIFE HELP. Nobody can really do more than that. And it is indeed sad if people feel they cant post here now.

fair enough
but afert a few psots there needs to eb a suicide gauleiter

Well, I would of course rather be discussing sex talking handdbags and shoes.

well yes, you are all nutters, but hey, beggars cant be choosers!
arf

damn, now i crave smelling JP Gaultier Classique.

WHY?

my ex boyfriend bought me that because he smelled it on some bird in an airport, ffs.

FIS: on balance I think that it's better for people to be able to post their suicide threads and have them responded to here, than for them to be shut down. Because the benefits (help for the suicidal OP, help for the OP even if he/she is unhappy and attention-seeking rather than actively suicidal, possible reassurance for other unhappy lurkers/posters) far outweigh the bad possibilities (suicidal OP manages to kill self, emotionally vulnerable other people get upset, the easily offended get, well, offended.)
People can't always fix or help other people no matter what, but in general and in pro-social, anthropological terms, it's better to try than not to try. If you were at a party and someone decided to go bananas and lock themselves in the loo with a sharp knife, would you be saying, ooh, call the professionals, we can't do anything or would you be trying to help no matter how clumsily.

I think this thread is now going to deter people from expressing their deppressive feelings and reaching out for help.

Well done

still trying to catch up with this thread but i n response to daddyj's comment about humanity, that's the long and short of it to me. i empathise with anyone who feels utterly lost and hopeless and if i feel there is some way i can reach out to them and let them know it passes then i will. to someone at rock bottom this is all that matters to get through that moment. not psychologists and psychiatrists and assessments and diagnoses, just a real human contact. and to me that's where mn beats a&e or samaritans hands down because it's many people, who each have a little insight into part of that feeling - the chances are that someone will say the right thing, to give the op something to hold onto. it widens your options instead of narrowing them to whoever-happens-to-be-on-duty-at-the-time, who is just as likely to miss the mark.

i guess the retort will be that it also increases the chances of someone saying the wrong thing, but i'm not sure that's how it works - that one wrong comment will drive you over the edge. i think we have an inbuilt drive to survive and if we have a shred of hope left to cling to we'll keep going, and mn increases exponentially the chances of someone finding that hope. imvho.

agree pd

crazymofo, it works both ways: if we're open and human and responsible enough to be open to people who want to discuss the difficult stuff that happened this week, then we're also open and human and responsible enough to take the consequences. We are neither the saviours of, or responsible for those people. I regret that they might not come here but that is their choice. We are a website.

I still think some good can come of trying to support these people but we can only do this by talking about what is best and what is undesirable. If vulnerable people choose to read that and decide it's not for them, so be it - I can't influence that either way. I think if we are to do this, then we have to learn to be compassionate at a distance. And debriefing or talking to an experienced person/group - just like this - is an important bit of dealing with trauma, which is undoubtedly what this was this week.

Good Post Wilfsell, so that is what this is, a debriefing? Makes sense.

I haven't read the whole thread, apologies...
But, what do you want people to do when people post and they're obviously in a bad way. If they haven't contacted the samaritans, what are you going to do, force them???
I know if I were posting in a bad way, I'd appreciate a comforting word or just knowing that someone was there.
TBH, shame on alot of you

fine line.

as a mental health professional i would never give someone suicidal on here any advice other than to contact RL help. anything else would be irresponsible.

equally on a human to human level it is difficult to turn away from someone in such need.

HOWEVER there is, imo a fuck of a lot of emotional vampirism on these threads. loads.

but sophable, if you know just a little of the story of these 'emotional vampires', would you say that? I personally think that's very harsh...

i think sophable is right and i think in the end theres no answer people just getr tired

blimey, that was a long thread.

I think there is a consensus that it CAN be helpful for people thinking about uicide to post, and that most would not like to see the thread pulled regardless.

BUT I think many of you are missing an important point that has been made: what about the people who post support? Because if you are working for the Samaritans you get (some) training and more importantly there is support for the aftermath. We don't have that here. The possible effects on other posters are very real and shouldn't be discounted.

To take a different area, if you train with St John on first aid training they advise you to always talk things through with someone after dealing with an incident. And there is a helpline number. Because dealing with trauma (physical or mental) is disturbing and distressing.

So what to do?

-Have the debate (there is a reason this is such a long thread, these are very real concerns)
-DON'T stop people talking
-but DO have more advise/info for members of the site on how to deal with these situations. Perhaps a live chat with an expert in this area? Or a gentle reminder to people on safe/appropriate behaviour?

I suppose that being one of the posters involved in supporting a few people over the past 6 months I should respond to this.

I kind of see it as supporting a friend to be honest,and I can tell you now I certainly haven't "vicariously enjoyed it" - that comment pissed me off to be honest. It has to be one of the most stressful things one can have to deal with and on the last occasion left me with a pounding headache, a huge phonebill and quite frankly feeling rather tearful and low. So no- if you have genuine concern for someone who you consider a friend- Online or in real life, it's certainly not fun.

In each of the cases I have been involved in I've ended up calling the Police- so if you take that on board I think you'll find that online cries for help do inevitably result in the flurry of "Quick....who knows XXXX in RL have they got her address" which is how I have been contacted on a number of occasions.

I don't see why any of you would want such a thread pulled. In the cases of a couple of indivuals it could literally be like having their only lifeline pulled away. I can tell you now that in at least one of the recent cases- I honestly don't think that person would be here today had that have happened.

I certainly would not want that on my conscience. Would you?

As for real life support- yes of course that's paramount.

But do you honestly think that if these people found it that easy to ask for/access that support thast they would have done?

We can advise them, support them to make the right choices, and equip them with the information and resources. Unfortunately though that has to be their decision.

We CAN however, call the Police if we consider them to be a danger to themselves or to others. Social Services are also another key contact if we feel that their children are within their care, and that they are at risk or harm or neglect.

(Assuming of course that we have their address)but I would suggest that the friend's of anyone they consider vulnerable should have their address anyway to be on the safe side.