Is MN an anonymous site

[100thtime]

I joined MN thinking it was an anonymous site for exchanging opinions and asking for help for problems etc.

I thought we were all supposed to be equal on this site, although in the past have been upset by other posters " ganging up" and joining together to bully other posters , including myself on occasion.

It was a revelation to me today to find out from another thread today that actually other MNers are friends with each other in real life, that they know each other's real identity, that they socialise with each other in real life, attend Christmas parties together.

I would never have set up an MN account if I'd known i was intruding on a friendship group.I think l think MN should be transparent as to that iswhat it is: a friendship group and is not actually a site for people to interact with each other equally on an anonymous basis.

@PolyVagalNerve It was on site stuff earlier. A woman asking about the MN account of her bereaved friend who she’d met through a MN interest and this one hijacked the thread going on about how dare they have a friendship outside of MN and how hurt she was. To someone deep in bereavement.

You totally misunderstood what was said on that thread.

Many years ago the site was much much smaller so friendship groups developed. We use to send Christmas presents to other people and yes there were meet ups. I’m talking over 15 years ago.

It’s a very different place now. Chill yer beans. You aren’t being left out by the mean girls.

Look. You're being really weird about this.

Back in the day, many years ago, MN was a lot smaller and many people knew each other. There were meet ups and parties.

Now there are millions of users.

Some of those - a very small demographic - either 'met' here and then decided to meet IRL, or already knew each other before joining.

It's quite normal for some users of a forum to eventually decide to meet up if it turns out to be feasible.

You didn't 'intrude on a friendship group' as you put it on the other thread. You're one of millions of users, most of which have no clue who anyone else is.

You're no more an outsider than you were two hours ago.

I do not know if any of my friends are on here. I name change on a regular basis so I cant be traced by anyone I do know.
I mean there may well be folks who meet up. Fair play. No problem with that.
I choose to be anonymous but others can choose different

I am having quite a dejavu here.

No. Most posters really don't know each other

Yeah. When the sex board was put in active we got grossed out and the thread was closed and PMing was discouraged. I don't know if it's picked up again.

Why do you think there's so many men on here now.

I feel feel absolutely dreadful now.
I had no idea that posters on here knew each other's identity

You're being ridiculous. A tiny number of people know each other. The other tens of thousands of us dont know anyone.

Honestly get a grip

If youre so paranoid delete your account and leave

How are you not equal to me?

Why are you not equal? If some people choose to take things off the boards, how does that affect you?

And I'm sorry if you think it's mean that I'm telling you you're being weird about this.

It's not meant to be mean or harsh. It's just that really, you have nothing at all to be freaked out about.

Wow.

You need to sort yourself out OP. It’s not right to make the death of a mumsnetter all about your feelings.

I've been picked on for my opinions in the past so I suspected that there was a message chain or something that I wasn't part of

I was never unkind or bigoted, just opinionsted and gossip orientated 🤭

Just change your username and start again xx

Just because a tiny number might know each other, it doesn’t mean it’s not predominantly anonymous. I remember when there used to be meet ups, but it was a much, much smaller community then.

You sound paranoid OP, so maybe a forum is not for you.

I've never met up with anyone. Plenty haven't.

But some have and you can't dictate that people can't become friends in real life just because you wouldn't like it.

Of course it's going to happen with some people.

I feel absolutely awful.

I shall delete my account now.

I never intended on intruding on other people.

Op I've been on here about five years I sometimes de register and sign back on if I've over shared about personal issues and Nc often depending on my favourite record at the time and not for nefarious reasons.
I don't know anyone on here I don't think.
Like anything online be careful not to post real identifying details.
Post away and enjoy.

Are you quite well?

There's thousands of users, they don't all meet up weekly for a cuppa.

Hasn't EXACTLY THIS happened year or two ago. Exactly that

You've nothing to worry about, as long as you don't freely give away personally identifying info, of course.

I'm guessing that the vast majority of MNers are not known to others except by their MN username and any info that they've given in their posts.

Even then, people frequently change unimportant (to the thread) details to maintain their anonymity. A 12yo DD may become a 13YO DS. A 42yo who's been married for 16 years and lives in Portsmouth may become a 44yo who's been married for 14 years and lives in Plymouth. A teacher may become an accountant.

Plus you can change your username as often as you like.

I don't like to troll hunt but yes I cannot believe that this is serious.

Just because a few people know eachother doesn't mean it's not widely anonymous. I don't know anyone on here in real life, doesn't mean I'm any less than the people who do.

You do realise you can't go anywhere on the internet if users knowing eachother in real life is a problem for you? Because that's true on literally any forum anywhere.

Oh my goodness, how sad - thanks for explanation -

OP, sorry you are feeling threatened by posters who have contact -

it has no bearing on you / me / anyone of us -

How bizzare. I literally know no one. But I expect others who have been here since day 1 do. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. I fear this is not the forum for you at this point. Maybe a Facebook group for one?