Anti-Dementors : The AD’s

[MinkyGreen]

Anti-Dementirs. These are a long running group of threads on Mumsnet.
I’ve recently been on a Covid thread and felt attacked by a group of posters for stating a consensus science view.
I then looked into who this group are - and they have formed threads called the ‘Anti-Dementors”. Dementors being those who wore masks/followed lockdown rules.
The groups they perceive as ‘dementors’ are dismissed/ridiculed as putting ‘cheese in coffee’, - or sitting in their garden with laptops during lockdown. The fact is that many were vulnerable/protecting the vulnerable.
There us also support/links to publications like ‘Unherd’ and ‘State of Fear’ which are bordering conspiracy theory territory.

While I think the discourse is important - it makes me very uneasy when people form ‘echo chambers’ and ridicule/attack/make snide comments in a group towards those with opposing views.

I look forward to your response!

While it's sad this happened, everyone will have something awful happen to them in their lives. Everyone's lives will be affected by cancer, and by other diseases, everyone will be bereaved, everyone will suffer.

It doesn't give you a special reason to go looking for two year old threads which supported a lot of women, and demand that Something is Done because you choose to take offence at their content.

And quite frankly, there were many, many posters on here who were enjoying working from their laptops in their gardens.

I lost my mum towards the end of covid restrictions. One of her oldest friends (previously a nurse, now care home manager) has to sneak into the hospice to see her.

During the first lockdown I broke a bone and saw how ‘overwhelmed’ the hospital actually was, and had a couple of very interesting conversations with the staff.

Hospitals feel far more overwhelmed now, thanks to the aftermath of lockdowns.

From what you have seen?

I'm afraid you are very selective about what you have seen and you are completely ignoring what others (who were actually there at the time), who have said that the threads saw them through some very very dark times. Just stop it now!

It all seems very egotistical

Yup, seeming mighty familiar. Lot's of great posters who turned out to be correct were also mass reported.

Only early during the first lockdown when we had unseasonably sunny weather.

I often wonder whether we would have been so accepting of staying at home if the weather had been shit?

Yes...If anyone had to go to hospital, they'll know.

one of the hardest things for mum's friends kids to accept....their dying parents were turned away from a hospital that wasn't busy.

They know this for sure ....because they are staff.

mum was in hospital November 2022 and we have heard a lot about colleagues who left because not only were they treated badly, they also felt that nursing just isn't about nursing. It's another pile of spaghetti to untangle but we will have a shortage of medical staff for a very long time, certainly the rest of my life.

i was also called an anti vaxer here, I was one of the earliest to get it, I was lucky not to get a shielding letter. But being against mandatory vax meant posters here called me anti vax.

@DanceMonster

Exactly. The ‘be kind because you don’t know what other’s are going through’.

My loved one was going through that, but didn’t become any kind of statistic thankfully. And then - statistically I can see that millions globally were going through far, far worse.

They - and their families - should be empathised with - not ridiculed. Equally those who had their lives destroyed by lockdown.

At least one thread recently on what people enjoyed about lockdown and working in the garden or spending time with the children playing in the garden seems to be a theme.

I don’t recall any ridiculing on those threads. A huge amount of common sense, support, some rude veg, a new baby or two and a wonderful tortoise definitely. If that makes me an AD then who cares, I’ve been called a lot worse!

The ‘be kind because you don’t know what other’s are going through’

So were you on MN during lockdown, OP? and did you see all those threads that have been referenced on this thread? did you post at all?

Or is this retrospective outrage, for some reason?

There was definitely some mild piss taking to be honest 😂. Nothing nasty though. But I certainly don’t subscribe to the view that we shouldn’t express those opinions because someone somewhere might be having a tough time.
OP if there were particular comments that offended you at the time you would of course been within your rights to report them and let MN judge. But to start a thread now, 3 years later, when the threads are barely even active anymore (and you can choose not to read them)… what are you hoping to achieve?

I am not sure the op understands internet forums. Anyone opposing lockdowns is in a Mumsnet cabal. Anyone taking the piss or being salty is akin to a workplace bully and posters need to be protected from reading their posts by censorship. No one can talk about their suffering in case anyone else was going through worse…

So mumsnet could censor any anti lockdown threads. Or the OP could just stay off covid threads if it’s going to upset her too much.

How is calling someone a dementor who puts cheese in their coffee : and sits on their laptop in the garden all day : not an attempt to ridicule? Particularly if that person was actually having a very hard time.

Similarly : calling someone a ‘granny killing Covidiot’. And starting a thread “anti granny killers” Where they can make all kinds of assumptions about ‘granny killers’ - would that be an attempt to ridicule? Particularly if that person was actually finding it impossible to escape an abusive household during lockdown?

Not right is it.

No one was kind here in lockdown. They took the piss out of people who were suicidal, people who were worried about their children, people who were worried about parents.

The threads you are complaining were very kind, many posters there had Covid and long Covid.

i still remember a deleted thread where a poster explained, with great dignity, that she lost both parents to Covid but was against the lockdown.

the Book That Must Not Be Named came up on the thread and it vanished. I'm pleased to say it has a place in the window at Waterstones now.

Oh FGS. MN runs this site to their rules, not on someone moaning about what 'isn't right' and crying about being ridiculed.

I notice you've swerved a bit in your last post. Better late (like three years late) then never, I guess.

What's the point here, OP?

And if you were offended by any of those particular comments at the time you could have reported them. As could anyone else who was offended by them. 3 years ago.

What are you hoping to achieve here OP? Do you want the 3 year old threads deleting?

I had to spend all day in an EPU fully of lonely, frightened, masked crying women. Wanted to post about while it was happening as I needed a handhold but knew I’d be ripped apart so didn’t. Couldn’t even get support when potentially miscarrying on a parenting site as I knew there would be posters jumping on me for daring to use the nhs or being sad women were going through it all alone. Mumsnet was not a supportive site at the time if you said anything about the lockdowns being hard on you.

I dunno. No not deleting. I can see people need a place to express their hardship.

I just would rather that didn’t involve ridiculing others. Or making sweeping assumptions, dismissing them - calling them a dementor or a Covidiot. Or jumping on them and tearing them apart when they disagree.

So do you want a mass apology for the things we said 3 years ago?

Thoughtcrime and wrongthink innit?

Won't get any apologies for me - what the stupid ill-thought out, brutally inhumane lockdowns and their cheerleading crew did was fucking vile and we're still seeing the consequences now.

If me saying that hurtys feelings... I'll refer you to what I was told, on this PARENTING site when my then 7 year old autistic daughter was sobbing and unable to sleep because of how much sad there was in her brain... "perfect chance for her to learn some resilience then"

So what did you want from MN by putting this on "site stuff"?

I just would rather that didn’t involve ridiculing others. Or making sweeping assumptions, dismissing them - calling them a dementor or a Covidiot. Or jumping on them and tearing them apart when they disagree

Welcome to the internet, welcome to life, welcome to human nature under intolerable stress and fear.

Were you on MN at the time and did you say anything about what you see as ridicule and abuse? because wishing that something that happened three years ago hadn't happened (and don't we all have our thoughts on that one) is futile.

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