Anti-Dementors : The AD’s

[MinkyGreen]

Anti-Dementirs. These are a long running group of threads on Mumsnet.
I’ve recently been on a Covid thread and felt attacked by a group of posters for stating a consensus science view.
I then looked into who this group are - and they have formed threads called the ‘Anti-Dementors”. Dementors being those who wore masks/followed lockdown rules.
The groups they perceive as ‘dementors’ are dismissed/ridiculed as putting ‘cheese in coffee’, - or sitting in their garden with laptops during lockdown. The fact is that many were vulnerable/protecting the vulnerable.
There us also support/links to publications like ‘Unherd’ and ‘State of Fear’ which are bordering conspiracy theory territory.

While I think the discourse is important - it makes me very uneasy when people form ‘echo chambers’ and ridicule/attack/make snide comments in a group towards those with opposing views.

I look forward to your response!

What about all the "well you must follow the rules, if it saves just one life it will be worth it"

The AD threads saved at least one life. Mine. When I was at my absolute suicidal depths, those women were there so I wasn't alone.

So they were worth it and you can please, PLEASE just stop this and go away.

Am glad to see that @hoophoophooray for me the madness on them were light relief on returning from working in shitty ppe on covid wards and found it almost funny all the 'Stay the fuck at home posters' were doing it generally from very detached 'I've not left my home for xx days' prideful stance while being horrifically judgemental to those who had to leave home. Remember being berated that 'no you shouldn't have dropped a home made card into your mums letter box for her birthday on your way home from work. You should only be journeying home to work, NOWHERE ELSE'!! That led to so many of the dementor types suggesting things like health care workers should be sequestered in their work place and not allowed home!!

The ADs are still going strong three years on. That's quite an achievement.

@hoophoophooray I'm glad it helped you. It certainly helps me.

@hoophoophooray

My suicidal feelings didnt come until August 2021 It was like being suddenly slapped in the face on the 8th August.

@JenniferBooth mine started when they went back to school September 2020. No idea why.

They saved mine too 💐

Mine was about then too x 💐

Those threads were my saviour. And I spent the time at home on a laptop.... because we had to "stay the fuck at home" and we were being sold this massive lie about how the internet could replace all social interaction and everything could be solved by sitting on fucking Zoom.

I came very very close to suicide multiple times during the vileness of the pandemic. The women I met through the AD threads saved me - and, and this was the bit that you didn't see baying against the even thoughtcriminal bogeymen, one of the ladies on those threads, who didn't have young kids of her own anymore, took the time out of her day to organise regular online sessions for the kids who were really really struggling to have some social interaction together (albeit via bastard Zoom) playing Among Us. The evil evil ADs - actually doing something to try to help the kids who'd been forgotten about completely as they weren't the chosen KW children and were just expected to fucking disappear for months at a time - whereas on MN a group of utter arseholes absolutely dominated every single fucking board.

You also didn't see the point where we were struggling with the absolute fear every time a graph pointed back up that they'd put us through it again and we had ladies who would have dropped everything to run and support those struggling - on here, people were being utterly eviscerated for daring to suggest they had any degree of difficulty whatsoever - it was those "evil ADs" who were taking it in turns to prop each other up through those patches. The spirit of MN at its finest - but absolutely marginalised and many harassed off the boards completely by some who could not wait to line up, make up rules and stick the boot in.

So yep - continue tagging @HopeMumsnet and @MNHQ to try to look like you're on some kind of side of righteousness and pushing for a ban for a group of women who dared to have an opinion (surely MN used to be the natural home for women daring to be in possession of an opinion) 3 years ago... you really don't know the story you're pretending you do.

Also might want to consider a mental health evaluation if you're actively sat here trawling three year old threads for reasons to be offended, or possibly a spot of Veet for the palms sweetie.

Well said @CoffeeWithCheese

For many of us the AD threads were a little bit of light in the darkness/madness.

I don't live in the UK and there were some very supportive threads about the pain and frustration of being forcibly prevented from seeing family in the UK.

The "dementors" loved a good "what's happening in other countries" thread.

I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I had no place having an opinion as I am not a UK taxpayer (WTF!? - yet another "imagined" rule).

It was comforting to see that there were still some sensible people in the world.

By OPs logic, I should be asking MN to delete all the "well you shouldn't have moved abroad in the first place, serves you right" posts as they were deeply upsetting, but being a grown-up I just hid the most bonkers of the threads.

All of the threads should be left as a record of one of the weirdest periods we have ever lived through (and I'm quite old now, so there's lots to choose from!).

Allof the threads should be left as a record of one of the weirdest periods we have ever lived through (and I'm quite old now, so there's lots to choose from!).

Yes I agree. I want to see events last little bit of wierdness stay. Even and maybe especially those that were painful for me to read.

But what about those who were supporting lockdown because - in my case - they were caring for someone extremely vulnerable? For me - it was dealing with cancer, trying to get that person in an overwhelmed hospital, her bleeding out in the toilet, dealing with adult and child nappies, clearing up poo accidents, daily phone calls to PALS - pleading to get her in. All while homeschooling and trying to get support for an ASD child. The insinuation that I was lazing around in my garden drinking cheesy coffee makes me fume.
And I’m not even a statistic. There were so many more in a worse situation that me who died/had family members who died or who had their health severely compromised.

I’m not saying there probably weren’t ‘lockdown lovers’ posting all sort of insulting nonsense, but I’m not aware of them - or aware of them now.

You all seem like a very intelligent group, and no - I don’t want to stop an essential support group - and I don’t want to stop the debate.

I’ll back down and apologise. We all need and deserve to be treated with respect.

Then those threads weren’t aimed at you, were they? No one said that everyone who supported lockdown were sitting in their gardens drinking g&t all day, but the comments in the threads were aimed at those who were enjoying it all at their own admission. There is no insinuation that you were lazing around in your garden, as the comments weren’t aimed at you.
As has been pointed out upthread, many ADs supported lockdowns too. They just didn’t support the extreme policing of other people, the shouting down of anyone who said they were having a hard time due to the rules, the adding on of additional rules that they thought people should be obeying, even though they didn’t actually exist.
You’re not aware of the threads/posts by the lockdown lovers as they’re not the ones you’ve been trawling the site looking for. If you were to go back 3 years specifically looking for them like you have the AD threads, you’d find them.
Im sorry you had a tough time in lockdown.

@DanceMonster

Yes, but there is an attempt to apply a stereotype.

And then when the group post on another thread - the same stereotype is applied without knowledge of the circumstances of the poster who is being criticised.

And you are doing the same in return. Stereotyping those who didn’t agree with lockdowns as far right conspiracy theorists.

FFS. Some of the people on the AD threads also had awful times during lockdown. I had a relative who had mobility and continence problems and was due to be assessed for a care package. Assessment was cancelled and she got locked down with her kids. She needed to go to hospital and was sent home rather than being admitted because of covid, I was trying to get the social work to do the assessment and organise personal care, then she died.

Her demise was hastened by health and social care ceasing to work in a normal manner and it was awful having to deal with it at the same time as all the self righteous fuckwittery being spouted on here and social media and in real life. I remember a particularly stupid and upsetting "You might want to see your family but your family members might die if you meet up" meme. I also remember, amongst other things, an absolute wanker tutting at me because I sat on down our local beach during a walk just after she died.

The AD threads gave me a lot of comfort during this time. I'm sorry you had a bad lockdown but you're being a total hypocrite about stereotyping without knowing circumstances.

The ADs weren't anti those supporting lock down though MinkyGreen.

That's what you are missing.

Its been explained many times, they were anti dementors.

To be fair - they hadn't had a bad lockdown will ill relatives until their last argument was dead in the water and they needed to throw another attempt in to hit the jackpot and have those nasty nasty women with opinions kicked into touch. That one appeared about a bajillion pages into this when MN didn't appear to have "banning people for making three-years-time-me feel sad and having a different opinion to me" as a ban criteria.