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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Anti-Dementors : The AD’s

317 replies

MinkyGreen · 15/03/2023 04:40

Anti-Dementirs. These are a long running group of threads on Mumsnet.
I’ve recently been on a Covid thread and felt attacked by a group of posters for stating a consensus science view.
I then looked into who this group are - and they have formed threads called the ‘Anti-Dementors”. Dementors being those who wore masks/followed lockdown rules.
The groups they perceive as ‘dementors’ are dismissed/ridiculed as putting ‘cheese in coffee’, - or sitting in their garden with laptops during lockdown. The fact is that many were vulnerable/protecting the vulnerable.
There us also support/links to publications like ‘Unherd’ and ‘State of Fear’ which are bordering conspiracy theory territory.

While I think the discourse is important - it makes me very uneasy when people form ‘echo chambers’ and ridicule/attack/make snide comments in a group towards those with opposing views.

I look forward to your response!

OP posts:
hoophoophooray · 15/03/2023 06:37

You have heard of this thing called "free speech" and "different opinions"? You can't say that discourse is important and then add "but not these people, I don't like those opinions"

Just ignore it if you don't want to read it. And for what it's worth, during lockdown I was viciously attacked for saying that lockdown caused me significant mental health issues and told that I was pathetic for not coping. Those people apparently had the right opinions, so I deserved it according to a lot of people.

Boomboom22 · 15/03/2023 06:42

So it's OK to spread nonsense yourself then? Bit thin skinned considering it's the ADs who were constantly attacked as selfish. Personally I think any policy that puts elderly adults over children is very very questionable and as we see more and more impacts with the covid enquiry with hindsight it is clear the long lockdowns were the wrong move. Sorry fear overtook science for you and many in gov.

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:02

The AD threads saved my sanity during the lockdowns. I don’t know if you recall what it was like on here, but anyone expressing even mild concern at what school closures were doing to their kids was shouted down and accused of wanting people to die, not being bothered to look after their own children, not caring about teachers’ safety, etc etc. It was awful. Why you’re bringing this up now, when the AD threads have all but disappeared, I have no idea.

Saucery · 15/03/2023 07:05

Just hide their nonsense. I didn’t even know they were still blathering on.
If they are swamping unrelated threads again then report it and I’m sure MNHQ will have a look.

Being a squirrelly Konspiracy fan isn’t forbidden.

Random789 · 15/03/2023 07:16

The dementors were defeated by chocolate, so presumably we just need the opposite of chocolate to defeat the anti-dementors. I suppose that would be celery.

(Seriously, I don't think there is any need to to anything -- other than delete indiviudual posts that breach the existing guidelines. People are allowed to believe falsehoods.)

MichaelAndEagle · 15/03/2023 07:21

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:02

The AD threads saved my sanity during the lockdowns. I don’t know if you recall what it was like on here, but anyone expressing even mild concern at what school closures were doing to their kids was shouted down and accused of wanting people to die, not being bothered to look after their own children, not caring about teachers’ safety, etc etc. It was awful. Why you’re bringing this up now, when the AD threads have all but disappeared, I have no idea.

This. They just wanted to be able to discuss it being hard, isolating, worry about their children etc.
Bookworm is right, you couldn't say anything without people piling on saying just stay at home, its not fucking hard, from their lovely homes with large gardens.

Birdsbirdsbirds · 15/03/2023 07:24

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:02

The AD threads saved my sanity during the lockdowns. I don’t know if you recall what it was like on here, but anyone expressing even mild concern at what school closures were doing to their kids was shouted down and accused of wanting people to die, not being bothered to look after their own children, not caring about teachers’ safety, etc etc. It was awful. Why you’re bringing this up now, when the AD threads have all but disappeared, I have no idea.

And mine.

TeenDivided · 15/03/2023 07:29

Weren't the ADs originally formed against the people saying nonsense like milk wasn't essential, and you should buy chocolate whilst doing your 'essential' food shop. ie they were a balance against those that went OTT on restrictions.

No idea what is going on now.

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:33

TeenDivided · 15/03/2023 07:29

Weren't the ADs originally formed against the people saying nonsense like milk wasn't essential, and you should buy chocolate whilst doing your 'essential' food shop. ie they were a balance against those that went OTT on restrictions.

No idea what is going on now.

Yes, exactly. They weren’t anything to do with conspiracy theories. Not sure what the threads are like now as I don’t go on them anymore, but during the lockdowns they were intended to be a safe space for people who were struggling with the restrictions and school closures.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/03/2023 07:34

Rewind about 3 years... the supermarkets are empty with long socially distanced queues outside. You can only go for "essential" shopping. Children don't have access to school, play areas or friends. Benches are taped up. You are allowed out once a day for exercise but the exact legality of that is unclear. The curtain twitchers and keyboard warriors impose their own layer of rules and are quick to shame people not following their interpretations of them. People weren't allowed to form "bubbles" for two months leaving single people totally alone. Many people found themselves frozen out of bubbles to limp along in isolation. Elderly, ill and vulnerable people were isolated away in care and health settings where they could be neglected unchallenged,
often wasting away in confused lonliness. Many people never saw their vulnerable relatives again. Funerals at peoples' darkest time of grief were heavily restricted with 2m distances strongly enforced.

Anyone speaking up about the cost of restrictions, people struggling, going out of business, neglect, abuse, depression were met by a strong chorus of catchphrases like "people are dying", "children are resiliant", "stay the fuck at home and watch Netflix"

So many of the restrictions made no practical difference to any viral spread and a lot was very clear from very early on. Anything involving restricting people in open spaces was a total waste of time and unnecessary misery.

The AD threads originated from an AIBU about people sucking joy. People revelling in policing others over made up trivial rules that just made life harder, such as people being vilified for buying "non-essential" Easter Eggs, or staying out longer than the 1 hour non rule about exercise. They were somewhere where people could admit how bloody tough those relentless months were. A space where you could say that so many measures made no sense and were going to cause harm. It was about the only space where people could say that. A free-flowing chat where it was OK to not be OK about what was going on, and where there was no escape from it.

So much of what we were abused for believing in 2020/21 has stood the test of time. The Whatsapp files show the political and flippant, not epidemiological reasons behind many of the rules imposed. We already know exactly how seriously Downing Street took social distancing, masks and essential functions. Inquests and trials regarding neglect resulting in deaths of people frozen out of the public services that could have saved them.

If people want to wear masks, test, wipe shopping, avoid crowds still, that's their free choice as it always was, but thank goodness it is no longer imposed and enforced by state and social policing.

HopeMumsnet · 15/03/2023 07:35

Hi there,
We'd be very keen to see specific threads or posts that you're worried about, particularly if you feel posters are ganging up on other threads rather than just having opinions in the same place, as it were. As ever, we moderate to our guidelines, so if posts on there are in contravention we will certainly take action.

BogRollBOGOF · 15/03/2023 07:39

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:33

Yes, exactly. They weren’t anything to do with conspiracy theories. Not sure what the threads are like now as I don’t go on them anymore, but during the lockdowns they were intended to be a safe space for people who were struggling with the restrictions and school closures.

Mainly popping up every few weeks as another "I told you so" moment emerges.

ifyougochasingrabbits · 15/03/2023 07:42

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:02

The AD threads saved my sanity during the lockdowns. I don’t know if you recall what it was like on here, but anyone expressing even mild concern at what school closures were doing to their kids was shouted down and accused of wanting people to die, not being bothered to look after their own children, not caring about teachers’ safety, etc etc. It was awful. Why you’re bringing this up now, when the AD threads have all but disappeared, I have no idea.

And mine

I was, and I am, an AD

Some of That group of women are still my friends now and the most supportive and awesome women I've ever met

I did not support lockdowns as I personally suffered severe financial hardship from not being able to work. my business suffered drastically despite the government help. and my husband was furloughed for 6 months and was on about 2/3rds of his pay. Due to my business losing clients we ended up on half of our usual income. We sold actual possessions to pay the mortgage and bills .

my kids did not cope (one of who still has severe mental health issues even now.). I was publicly humiliated by my kids school headteacher in front of all the parents and stared at daily by other parents as I refused to wear a face covering outside in the fresh air on the school run

My little girl was shouted at by staff for going "the wrong way" in a shop: and I'll never forget her confused little face and her eyes filling with tears

I was also threatened online with physical violence for working even though my job was "allowed") .

My 14 year old son was also threatened with violence by actual adults because he spoke out against wearing masks at school. Due to this and me defending him online, Local people went on my business page and left fake bad reviews and horrible personal comments - like my fucking business had not suffered enough !!

My friends fell out with me because I wasn't entirely supportive of lockdowns and covid measures

The AD women and the fact my parents , husband and kids shared my views was one of the reasons I'm still alive

With All of this do forgive me if I was not exactly supportive of lockdown!!

3 years on I'm still affected and slightly traumatised...I struggle to trust people and don't have many friends

MichelleScarn · 15/03/2023 07:48

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:02

The AD threads saved my sanity during the lockdowns. I don’t know if you recall what it was like on here, but anyone expressing even mild concern at what school closures were doing to their kids was shouted down and accused of wanting people to die, not being bothered to look after their own children, not caring about teachers’ safety, etc etc. It was awful. Why you’re bringing this up now, when the AD threads have all but disappeared, I have no idea.

Exactly, they seemed to me to be a response to the
'Stay the fuck at home'
'Selfish Granny killer'
'Who the fuck cares if you want to escape domestic violence, IM VULNERABLE, you choose to marry them in the first place, we're all in this together'.
'I don't care if your 1 year old has never seen another human face, stay the fuck at home'
And so on and so on.
Now all the madness is over (as much as some seem to not want it to be)
Not seen a single thread, but then I don't go searching covid stuff out.

MichaelAndEagle · 15/03/2023 07:52

Also, not everyone on the AD threads completely agreed on what measures the government should or shouldn't take, the point was it was a place you could discuss concerns, or even say you agreed with some measures but found it hard, without being laid into.
It really was the only place I ventured on mumsnet for months.

MarshaBradyo · 15/03/2023 07:52

bookworm14 · 15/03/2023 07:33

Yes, exactly. They weren’t anything to do with conspiracy theories. Not sure what the threads are like now as I don’t go on them anymore, but during the lockdowns they were intended to be a safe space for people who were struggling with the restrictions and school closures.

I didn’t go on them but knew what they were about. Not sure why pp are going in about conspiracies etc

Overthinkingnotdrinking · 15/03/2023 07:53

If you don’t like what is being said on a thread, that isn’t a reason to ask for free speech restrictions. It’s not lock down anymore, the censorship of dissenting opinions is over. But I suppose that’s another thing about lock downs people miss, mass censorship of challenges to their world view.

DanceMonster · 15/03/2023 07:54

I haven’t seen any of their threads for months and months but I used to post on them during lockdown under a different name.
If you have a problem with individual posts then report and MN can take a look. But as practically everything we talked about has turned out to have been true, I’m not sure what problems they’re causing to anyone 🤷🏻‍♀️

Overthinkingnotdrinking · 15/03/2023 07:59

The fact that the poster has an issue with mainstream U.K. publications, such as State of Fear being referenced is worrying. It’s not exactly the Alex Jones show, it’s quite a sober dissection if the way fear and budge units were used. Something our current prime minister has spoken out against. Rishi the conspiracy theorist?!?

Birdsbirdsbirds · 15/03/2023 08:49

Yes none of it was conspiracy theories at all, just a discussion about the lockdowns, rules etc and that a lot of us thought it wasn't going to work, that masks etc were useless, that kids would suffer and actually as time has ticked on... A lot of it was actually bang on.

Worldgonecrazy · 15/03/2023 09:13

Wow? Has OP read the WhatsApp files?

I take no pride or joy in being an AD. Rather a great sorrow that so many people were left terrified, that so many businesses were damaged, that so much money was wasted, that the economy was harmed massively, that people died alone and without receiving proper care. The global mass hysteria was sickening. The worst thing is that there was a rational response available and the government chose political games over humanity.

The only thing I am happy about is I treated the rules the same way the government did as their behaviour was obvious to anyone paying attention. This meant my family suffered as little harm as possible though could not avoid it completely , and as ‘key workers’ we were able to minimise negative educational impact.

Interestingly none of us have ever had covid either, which is obviously a statistical miracle.

justasking111 · 15/03/2023 09:13

Birdsbirdsbirds · 15/03/2023 08:49

Yes none of it was conspiracy theories at all, just a discussion about the lockdowns, rules etc and that a lot of us thought it wasn't going to work, that masks etc were useless, that kids would suffer and actually as time has ticked on... A lot of it was actually bang on.

The what's app furore kind of confirmed it.

We're still in a backwash of problems caused by mistakes made at the time

EmmaEmerald · 15/03/2023 09:25

OP "While I think the discourse is important - it makes me very uneasy when people form ‘echo chambers’ and ridicule/attack/make snide comments in a group towards those with opposing views."

That is exactly what you do. You are annoyed with people linking to the Telegraph and offer a Guardian link instead.

David Davis MP was recently interviewed at the Unherd offices. Do you want him removed from his role?

The Government of the time thought their rules were pointless against the spread of a virus.

Attacking a group of posters who tried to support each other - two offered in person help when I was suicidal - isn't going to achieve anything positive.

if the threads are removed, it would not surprise me that it was you who wanted it.

i hope you are open about your views IRL.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 15/03/2023 09:45

Birdsbirdsbirds · 15/03/2023 07:24

And mine.

And mine.

Buzzinwithbez · 15/03/2023 09:50

I knew those posts meant a lot to some people, both regular posters and lurkers and it's lovely to see them saying so on here.

For me, they were a breath of fresh air as I sat on my favourite bench trying to find some peace and discovering I'd swapped our cramped home for tuneless carehome carpark karaoke on a neighboring estate. The irony! It was right in the beginning where loud solidarity was lauded along with the weekly pan bashing, but sitting alone on a bench was heavily castigated..

I hope the AD threads stay as a piece of of history. They mainly document people's own struggles and personal experiences of the restrictions.
Some comments were irreverent, some tore at my heart strings.
Women managing to discuss things with nuance and respect and a huge dose of compassion for each other, frequently wandering off into off topic conversation and a smattering of rude vegetables when the mood needed to be lightened.