Mumsnet undermining breastfeeding again.

[Redebs]

Just read the Mumsnet article on caring for newborn babies. It's sponsored by a bottle manufacturer.

Much of it is misinformation that will seriously interfere with mothers' success with breastfeeding. For example trying to get a feeding routine for a two month old baby. This is totally against normal practice for on demand breastfeeding.

Anyone aiming for regular naps will be seriously frustrated and will think there is something wrong with them and their baby. Night feeding is treated as if it's a massive burden that should be shared by using a bottle.The massively negative impact of inaccurate information and expectations is aimed at discouraging breastfeeding.

There's a 'helpful' link to another article on 'combination feeding' aka introducing formula, along with references to a whole lot of bottle feeding products you should buy.

The WHO condemns companies that use misinformation and pressure on mothers not to breastfeed. While it may be subtly disguised, that is exactly what articles like this are doing.

And for money.

If they take time to just recover from birth and feed baby (from breast or a bottle brought to them) they're privileged or wrong because someone else doesn't want to do that.

No it’s that a lot of women can’t do that.

Im due to give birth this Friday, after DH’s 2 weeks of paternity is up I shall have both a newborn and 3 year old to look after for at least a few days a week. We can’t afford the nursery any more.

Funny you should ask, this weekend I'm off to see a cousin who's just had a baby and I'll be offering domestic help and taking food. I don't live close enough to go every day otherwise I would if it would help.

I mean supporting mum is what paternity leave is for as well. Dads are capable of cooking and cleaning and making bottles as well ...

My mum and dad came to stay when I had my babies and cooked for us while with us. DH supported me by using his paternity leave to take over the domestic chores and changing nappies / cuddled baby / looked after toddler while I recovered.

Of course you don't have to do this if you don't want. That's not the point. The point is that support is so often presented as someone else giving the bottle. Why can't support be someone else making the bottle and bringing it to mum? Why is someone else sitting down feeding baby the only support that's offered?

Yep I did that too - back to nursery runs at 1 week postpartum with number 2. Back in the pre covid days as well when DH was out 7-7 every week day.

But can't your DH do that support for you during his paternity leave or the weekend?

My point was though, why is support so often shown as someone else feeding baby rather than doing other things to support.

Of course you don't have to do this if you don't want.

🤦🏼‍♀️ Omg just stop.

I have no parents.

My siblings live a 2 hour drive away.

Seriously, just stop, you have no clue about other people apart from yourself.

Because feeding is what the baby wakes for so sleep will naturally be limited if you don’t share it? Unlike dusting and cooking? Nobody does those at 12, 2, 5 and 7am do they?

@Twizbe wow a whole weekend for one cousin. How amazing. I am sure this will enable your cousin to rest up on the couch for months while EBF.

You literally said in your post you got support other than someone else offering to feed the baby. What on earth are you talking about! Are you extrapolating one article to be every woman’s lived experience?

And so there would have been no one to feed the baby for you either?

Also, why don't we say ff increases this risk rather than bf reducing it?

But does formula feeding increase the risk?

If a woman doesn't have a child, doesn't breast feed but also doesn't formula feed - what is her risk? The woman's risk of breast cancer remains the same.

If I have a baby and formula feed - is my risk of breast cancer higher or lower than before I picked up a bottle of formula or did it stay the same?

If I don't have a child but I formula feed my friend's baby every day - does my risk of breast cancer increase?

So surely it is the act of breast feeding that reduces the risk whicha women is born with? It isn't the act of formula feeding that increases the risk. It's the act of breast feeding which can lower the risk, surely>

Everybody sniping at Merry for saying she's exhausted on another thread seems to have conveniently missed where she says on this thread that she's a physically disabled wheelchair user, also suffering from ME and fibro.

Maybe, just maybe, her health contributes towards her exhaustion? Especially ME I would imagine which is literally chronic fatigue. But that of course wouldn't fit your narrative that it's all because she's chosen to BF beyond the societal norm.

No, once I realised how bad staying at home was for my MH, I went out to toddler groups where there were loads of people who like holding babies and handed her over to one of them!

Then once DH got in from work I handed her over to him for a few hours so I could be 'off duty'.

I didn't realise you wanted me to list out every friend and family member I have and just what domestic help I offered them. Are you going to do the same?

Support for a new mum isn't just offering to feed their baby. There's lots you can do to support someone and it will depend on their circumstances.

Why it is so terrible to suggest that support is someone bringing you a made up feed?

This actually also depends on the impact of pregnancy/pregnancy and birth on breast cancer risk.
A woman giving birth and then formula feeding may not have the same risk profile as a woman who never gets pregnant or who never carries a pregnancy past a certain gestation.

And honestly this post is just so moronic. my DH helped with nappies and cuddles on his paternity why can’t yours . Oh I don’t know maybe because his two weeks off were spent visiting me and baby in hospital for 6 days as baby was in NICU and we didn’t get discharged then driving the two hour return journey from the hospital daily for the second week to get blood tests and weighed as baby was losing a lot of weight and extremely jaundiced. 🙄 check your privilege why don’t you with your rosy relaxing and recovering while DH does everything but feed and mummy and daddy mind you 🙄🙄

@Toandfroto did you mention your NICU situation before I responded?

I also think people forget that modern birth makes formula feeding more of a necessity when they quote statistics from Victorian Britain or whatever.

Many many babies are now induced slightly early (like mine) for health concerns that weren’t known about back then. Pre-eclampsia, IUGR, reduced movements, gestational diabetes. A 37 weeker will not have the suck reflex and strength that another baby that spent an extra month in their mother’s womb will have. They’re also more likely to be jaundiced so feeding is essential, there’s no time to ‘wait for it to click into place’.

Equally a third of mums have caesareans. It’s major surgery. What other patient would you wake every hour or two hours after major surgery, for weeks or even months on end, and expect them to make a good mental and physical recovery? When the baby could be given a bottle of formula or expressed breast milk which is perfectly safe?

Oh sorry do you only criticise and castigate certain formula feeding mothers? Posters should make it clear to you before posting of their circumstances and then you’ll decide whether to slag off them and their husbands?

Support for a new mum isn't just offering to feed their baby. There's lots you can do to support someone and it will depend on their circumstances.

Like I said, because dusting and meal prep isn’t what keeps new mums up in a gruelling lack of sleep is it? What use is a shepherd’s pie and a clean bathroom when I’m up at 12, 1, 3, 5 and 7am?

Ive not said anything wrong. Support comes in many forms.

Support isn't just feeding baby with a bottle.

Support depends on circumstances.

You like to pick apart what I say or make assumptions about me, but no one can do that to you.

Wow support comes in many forms. How enlightening. Who knew 🙄

Baby hasn't got a clue whether it's night or day. Someone helping you round the house or caring for baby in the day means mum could nap if she wants and catch up on sleep at other times.

What is so wrong with saying you can support mothers in lots of ways?

Why does this subject always descend into Ladies of the Flies?

Who’s expressing the breast milk while the C-section mum recovers?

Yep I thought the same.

They haven't got a clue

I get it now.

Offering to support a women to rest and recover from birth - wrong

Offering to support a woman to get out and about - wrong

Offering to feed baby - wrong

Offering to make up feed - wrong

Offering domestic help - wrong (unless you can list every person you've ever done this for)

Suggesting any form of support - wrong

Not supporting - wrong

It’s shit isn’t it?
What we really need, is societal level changes that support women in their feeding choices no matter what their postpartum experience is like, in such a way that breastfeeding rates and society level attitudes towards breastfeeding improve, without the nasty side of effect of making mothers who formula feed feel guilty or inadequate.
So far, we have prenatal and early postpartum services that very successfully convince women that they should be breastfeeding, but that it will be really hard/bad for their mental health, then mostly poor support when it’s hard or impossible, or blaming breastmilk when something else about the newborn period is hard (sleep!) but feeding is actually going fine, followed a few months later by pretty poor attitudes towards women who breastfeed longer than the first few months. And it all turns into this awful game of blaming all the mothers for everything.