Does mumsnet actually want to alienate core users? (Sex topic in active)

[Ceryneianhind]

Seriously?

I haven't seen a single post in favour of having the sex topic in active, and load against it, so why won't you take it back out?

I think mumsnet have taken it down now after it was flagged by the posters who don't want the sex topic on active. The post I am referring to was posted early yesterday evening, sex forum posters continued posting on that thread ignoring the description of an adult man having sex with a 15 year old girl until this morning when it was taken it down.

I too can think of at least one reason that men might specifically choose Mumsnet, a site for parents, to try to hook up with sex partners.

I am truly horrified that MN, having built up its brand as a 'site trusted by parents' for decades, has seemingly chosen to throw it all away for the sake of a bit of advertising.

Are you new to Mumsnet?

MNHQ have never dignified that sort of behaviour by giving in to it. They work at their own pace and will update when they're ready to.

I wish the dog and cat onea would stop showing up in active. Don't want to read about dirty little animals over my cornflakes.

What makes me laugh is the amount of people that seem to think they own mumsnet or have any right to a say in what mumsnet do!
"You need to remove the sex topic now because I say you should"
"I'm going to leave mumsnet if you don't remove the sex board"
As if mumsnet give a shit if you leave or not 🤣
If mumsnet want to alienate their users then let them. You don't like mumsnet anymore, then move on.
If I don't like Tesco, I won't shop there. I don't stand outside the shop hurling abuse at the people who do choose to shop there. I don't demand that the manager comes out and explains to me the reasons of why they are now stocking xyz products that I don't like and insist they remove them from the shelves because I don't like them.

I’m not new but I live in perpetual hope 😂

What makes me laugh is the amount of people that seem to think they own mumsnet or have any right to a say in what mumsnet do!

@HornyBee I literally said something similar on one of the other threads!😂 people act like this is their family business or if they have shares in the company. The amount of people that think they can tell MN what to do just because they don’t like something is quite embarrassing.

It’s one thing to give feedback and another to say ‘you need to do xyz or I’ll leave.’ Just leave then!

And no I don’t think I own MN, I am under no illusion that anyone would care if I left.

But I have a lot of affection for it, and would really like to stay. So therefore I feel invested in it not going to shit.

For me it’s not the same as going to Tesco instead of Asda. I don’t want to go to net mums 😔

No it was more as a gesture and a way of making the point by cutting off revenue if enough of us did it.

However I can't even work out how to do it so it's immaterial really!

Tbf it is grim and seedy. I don't trust the people vigorously defending it. It seems to be the same men people over and over, jumping on every thread to shout down anyone daring to voice a dislike for it.

Oh look, the people defending sharing stories of grooming and CSA have arrived 🙄

So if you have a different opinion on the sex board appearing in active you’re either a man or defending sharing stories of grooming and CSA? What a fucking reach

Yeah, if you don't like descriptions of men having sex with 15 year old children just don't use mumsnet. It's really so funny that people look for an explanation of why this is allowed isn't it Hornybee

The shit some people will defend is really disturbing.

Alternatively, if my local tesco, which is convenient and I've shopped there for years, opened a free playroom for parents to use with their children, and a load of men who had never previously shopped at tesco started hanging out there, asking the mums for their phone numbers and how they lost their virginity and posting about grooming underage girls for sex, I'd probably mention it to the manager and go to the press if they didn't do anything about it.

Rather than just considering it "not my problem".

You do know you can hide the board don't you ?

except that it still pops up sometimes, even if you have hidden it

That's exactly what has happened though. So yes, if you think it's a good thing, that's what you're supporting.

I doubt MN cares unless users start to use the site less/leave. At the moment we are all cross about it but still spending ages on MN so MN doesn't care, particularly if their move brings in more users to the site (even if they are seedy blokes).

But.... MN isn't a place for children is it so that's a completely different dynamic. It's a site for ADULTS.

And there are no men pestering or harassing women on the sex board if that's what you're getting at. How many men from the sex board have messaged you? I'm guessing none unless you have posted on the sex chat thread and invited them to.

Its more like if Tesco put all the meat in a separate room so as not offend the vegetarians. But then the vegetarians purposefully keep going into the serparate room and complaining about all the meat in there!

You were much more honest on the other thread where you just said that you want to call women who disagree with you "cunts".

I mean that's fine, but they don't actually get to put themselves above the law.

I 100% did not say that though did I 🤣

That comment was in reference to ONE particular poster.

A poster who has gone beyond having a different point of view and has been attacking the sex board and individual posters on there with vile trolling comments. That particular poster is disgusting regardless of their point of view.

Are you being purposely obtuse?

I saw ONE thread where the OP asked people how old they were when they lost their virginity and what the location was. Some people voluntarily offered up information which stated that they had sex underage or with a man who was much older than them.

Because that thread was posted in the Sex topic and now appears in active, that means that I support grooming and CSA? That was ONE thread where some of those circumstances were mentioned. The Sex board has many, many other threads of things that aren’t anything like that.

The OP could have posted that thread in AIBU (for traffic) or Chat, would that mean that the readers support what’s being posted? No so stfu.

I can’t even go back and forth with you because you’re being purposely stupid to try and prove a point. MN have already told people to hide the topic and clearly won’t be taking it off of active anytime soon so there’s really no point talking to you.

As a victim of CSA, how dare you. Watch your words when you’re speaking to people, you don’t know my story

None of us who brought the subject up with MNHQ actually want the sex topic removed from MN. We are not labelling the general users of the sex topic perverts or miscreants. I have visited the topic myself in the past but I had a look this week so that I could see for myself exactly what was on there. Previously it was mainly just threads asking for advice but what is on there now is different - people still asking for advice (and getting low traffic) but there is a dominating seedy element. My DC19 was very much of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with the sex topic threads appearing in active threads.....then they read some of the thread titles in active and had a look in the sex topic itself. They did a complete 180 and said "Mum this has no place in active threads where kids can see it".

What I and others find objectionable is that you can only hide the sex topic if you are logged in to MN. I'm on shared devices so I log in/out every time. Lily@mumsnet ALWAYS chipperly/breezily says 'if you don't want to see it then you can hide it' but fails to add that you MUST be logged into MN to get the benefit of hiding threads. At 6am yesterday morning I had a look at active threads to see what's going on while having my breakfast. I don't log in for that because I don't have the time as it's only 15 minutes but there were 4 sex topic listings in active. It was the same at lunchtime when I have my only break of the working day but I can't log in on my phone and it's pointless anyway as you can't block threads on your phone. It's been like this since MNHQ made the change. It makes my heart sink when I see them - one of them was asking for experiences of losing ones virginity and just seemed to be wank fodder. I don't want to see that shoved in my face ever - I find it triggering due to a history of abuse. Someone asked why threads aren't opt in rather than opt out but perhaps some should be.
MNHQ is refusing to give us answers to our perfectly valid questions and they're fobbing us off with mainly radio silence until lily@mumsnet appears with an occasional mealy mouthed 'we're looking into it' or the more suspect 'we're waiting to see how things settle' type of response.
So yes, MNHQ does appear to want to alienate a large number of users but just think of this MNHQ - last week there was a sex thread in active asking whether you like anal? That is what someone said to me before they did actually anally assault me. I can't unsee that and my reaction was fairly swift and damaging mentally but that's ok because it's all about including everyone isn't it MNHQ & lily@mumsnet????????

You are beginning to sound a bit stalkerish now.

@GoAgainstNicki - what I am saying is that the sex topic being in active has a) led to more men posting and ones who are specifically looking to talk about sex with women and b) encouraging conversation about things like CSA to be discussed in a way that would be banned in a sex specific forum because they have much tighter moderation.

I don't think this is in women's best interests, particularly those of us who are CSA survivors.

There is nothing stupid about my point of view. Perhaps I didn't express myself clearly enough.