Page 3 | Does MN have any standards, limits or rules for what it allows on threads?

Brainbleachplease · 2023-02-18T20:02:11+00:00

A couple of years ago a thread on here was deleted and rightly so because it was a thread for women having affairs to support each other. It was deemed not in the spirit of the site. Yet mumsnet is allowing a long running thread in the sex forum for people to hook up for sex chats. So my question is what are mumsnets rules on threads? Are there no rules? What's the difference between threads like that and fab? Frankly this site must be gold dust for the wank fodder and men who would have to compete and pay on sites like fab. So my question is mumsnet what are your rules for what is in the spirit of the site. You must have some rules, surely?

RabbitSocks · 19/02/2023 18:13

LucyLeave · 19/02/2023 15:06

And posts like these are why some of us don't want the sex topic in Active or a hook up thread hosted by MN.

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Ah! You object to jokes. That must make life confusing.

MNHQ

HebeMumsnet · 20/02/2023 12:52

Morning, everyone. There are quite a lot of different points being made here but to answer @Brainbleachplease 's original question, as we say in the Ps and Qs section of our Talk Guidelines, "we like to let the conversation flow so we don't have too many hard and fast rules. This means our mods often make difficult decisions based on context, tone and circumstance."

We tend to moderate on the basis that we're all grown-ups here and so it may well be that we wouldn't take down a thread like this, so long as no one was there simply to cause trouble and the thread was within guidelines. If anyone is receiving unwanted advances off the back of a thread like this, we'd always ask you to report it (posts as well as PMs) and we can very quickly check out anyone who might be here for nefarious reasons.

Obviously, a thread or a whole section can be hidden, if you don't want to see it when you sign in, but we don't tend to step in unless we think posters are there solely to cause trouble or our Talk Guidelines are otherwise broken. It's a bit hard to talk without specifics but please do hit the report button if you have any concerns - we're always happy to take a look.

Original poster

Brainbleachplease · 20/02/2023 13:51

@HebeMumsnet So how does mumsnet justify saying a thread of women who were cheating and in affairs isn't allowed because it isn't in the spirit of mumsnet, but mumsnet can allow a thread where people hookup for sex chats, and it is in the spirit of mumsnet. No way every single person who posts on there is single. @MNHQ

OP posts:

Original poster

Brainbleachplease · 20/02/2023 13:53

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

@MNHQ @HebeMumsnet In response, I also highlight @lovem 's very concise post. Please understand this is NOT about just scrolling past something. What happens if I'm on a work laptop or phone and don't want to log-in?

OP posts:

Original poster

Brainbleachplease · 20/02/2023 16:21

MN's lack of response on this says it all. The only way they'll care is if they lose business and clicks. I'm on one small poster, and in the grand scheme of things will make fuck all difference. I'm still out of here.

OP posts:

MeganTheeScallion · 20/02/2023 17:14

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days?

£.

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2023 17:57

Brainbleachplease · 20/02/2023 13:51

@HebeMumsnet So how does mumsnet justify saying a thread of women who were cheating and in affairs isn't allowed because it isn't in the spirit of mumsnet, but mumsnet can allow a thread where people hookup for sex chats, and it is in the spirit of mumsnet. No way every single person who posts on there is single. @MNHQ

Often they announce they aren’t single. ‘Not getting any at home’ etc 😬

newjobnewstartihope · 20/02/2023 17:59

Bloody hell we are consenting adults and sex hook ups are not illegal and this isn't North Korea

Flounder2022 · 20/02/2023 18:08

Is this for real? There's a lot discussed in this site that I don't agree with. I will either scroll on by, engage in debate/ discussion or, if I feel it warranted, report. All those options, and more, are available to you. But demanding the removal of everything and anything that causes you offence is completely ridiculous.

I

Sarahcoggles · 20/02/2023 18:09

You can't talk about Gina Ford. She's definitely off limits.

Nottelling15 · 20/02/2023 18:29

newjobnewstartihope · 20/02/2023 17:59

Bloody hell we are consenting adults and sex hook ups are not illegal and this isn't North Korea

👍👍👍👍

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2023 18:54

Sarahcoggles · 20/02/2023 18:09

You can't talk about Gina Ford. She's definitely off limits.

Is that still the case? I mean your post is still up.

DogHairDontCare · 20/02/2023 19:01

Sparklingbrook · 20/02/2023 17:57

Often they announce they aren’t single. ‘Not getting any at home’ etc 😬

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Yes, plenty saying they’re married. Most read like they’re creeps. And not one referred to women...it’s all ‘ladies’.

LangClegsInSpace · 20/02/2023 21:32

HebeMumsnet · 20/02/2023 12:52

Morning, everyone. There are quite a lot of different points being made here but to answer @Brainbleachplease 's original question, as we say in the Ps and Qs section of our Talk Guidelines, "we like to let the conversation flow so we don't have too many hard and fast rules. This means our mods often make difficult decisions based on context, tone and circumstance."

We tend to moderate on the basis that we're all grown-ups here and so it may well be that we wouldn't take down a thread like this, so long as no one was there simply to cause trouble and the thread was within guidelines. If anyone is receiving unwanted advances off the back of a thread like this, we'd always ask you to report it (posts as well as PMs) and we can very quickly check out anyone who might be here for nefarious reasons.

Obviously, a thread or a whole section can be hidden, if you don't want to see it when you sign in, but we don't tend to step in unless we think posters are there solely to cause trouble or our Talk Guidelines are otherwise broken. It's a bit hard to talk without specifics but please do hit the report button if you have any concerns - we're always happy to take a look.

We all know that threads are frequently deleted for being 'not in the spirit' even when they don't contravene the letter of the talk guidelines.

For some reason you have decided that a sex hook up thread is in the spirit of Mumsnet. This is new.

OP is right, a thread like this would have been deleted a few months ago (and indeed it was in October).

On top of promoting sexual content, facilitating it and shoving it in our faces unless we opt out (easier for some than others), you are trying to pretend nothing has changed. I don't know which is the most offensive. We're not stupid.

Thesystemonlydreamsintotaldarkness · 20/02/2023 21:40

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 14:31

'Does it ever occur to people like you that mumsnet is not the church or government? They aren’t here to enforce your particular type of morality?'

Yes there seems quite a few judgey, naive posters who think a site for parents must not host anything sexual. The outrage over an innocuous sex toy has been absolutely ridiculous. Don't some understand sex toys are very mainstream there is nothing discusting about them? Someone on the other thread likened the sex board to red light districts 🤣

There are separate boards for different demand. Even if things pop up in active why the horror? Just ignore it 'oo oo but what if I see anal whilst scrolling waaah!' I mean fgs get a grip.

In answer to your op, yes they have TGs I'm sure you've heard of them.

Don’t know if it’s just me, and old age (well, entering my 40s) but sex toys are just of no interest to me these days. But it’s easy enough to simply scroll past; and no different to me than say seeing ads for baby car seats which are
also irrelevant to me these days.

Shallysally · 20/02/2023 22:10

Sarahcoggles · 20/02/2023 18:09

You can't talk about Gina Ford. She's definitely off limits.

Well that’s because a court case was involved! Hardly the same thing.

affor · 20/02/2023 22:28

Brainbleachplease · 20/02/2023 13:51

@HebeMumsnet So how does mumsnet justify saying a thread of women who were cheating and in affairs isn't allowed because it isn't in the spirit of mumsnet, but mumsnet can allow a thread where people hookup for sex chats, and it is in the spirit of mumsnet. No way every single person who posts on there is single. @MNHQ

Have you considered you were wrong about that thread being deleted?

I was the OP of the thread 'and AP free 2021' that got huge amounts of abuse when posters deemed I was looking for support to keep my affair going and it wasn't in keeping with site.

Those posters got told to stop it and the thread continued

sadoldboy · 13/09/2023 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.