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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Does MN have any standards, limits or rules for what it allows on threads?

68 replies

Brainbleachplease · 18/02/2023 20:02

A couple of years ago a thread on here was deleted and rightly so because it was a thread for women having affairs to support each other. It was deemed not in the spirit of the site.

Yet mumsnet is allowing a long running thread in the sex forum for people to hook up for sex chats. So my question is what are mumsnets rules on threads? Are there no rules? What's the difference between threads like that and fab? Frankly this site must be gold dust for the wank fodder and men who would have to compete and pay on sites like fab.

So my question is mumsnet what are your rules for what is in the spirit of the site. You must have some rules, surely?

OP posts:
LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 15:36

Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 15:32

It's a hookup for chat thread.

Show quote history

I don't really understand your objection to the thread. Don't participate if you don't like it. You really must have sought it out. I'd never noticed the existence of that forum.

LucyLeave · 19/02/2023 15:39

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 15:36

I don't really understand your objection to the thread. Don't participate if you don't like it. You really must have sought it out. I'd never noticed the existence of that forum.

Show quote history

The thread appears in Active now.

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 15:44

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:16

You can keep telling me that - but just like you think it's fine and there are no problems, I don't think it's fine and can see problems, as can some others.

No pitchforks, no "cats bum face" here, although plenty of Envy

You don't have to think it's fine rather accept other people behave differently to you and as long as they adhere to TGs then there's nothing you can do. Fwiw I wouldn't post in a sex chat but I recognise lots of women will enjoy it so why not. Each to their own.

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 15:48

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

Same TGs apply to men and women..

Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 15:49

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 15:36

I don't really understand your objection to the thread. Don't participate if you don't like it. You really must have sought it out. I'd never noticed the existence of that forum.

Show quote history

Because there is at least one predator on that thread who was asked not to post on other long standing threads. Another poster also mentioned the same poster I'm referring to yesterday.

@MNHQ has been inconsistent with applying any standards to the forum.

OP posts:
Reindeerinsummer · 19/02/2023 15:50

Scroll past it?

Hooklander · 19/02/2023 15:55

Flounder2022 · 19/02/2023 13:43

Did you go on especially so you could be offended and then come here to tell everyone?

Show quote history

Why not? It might be a slow day in the Ostryga household. It's a permissible past-time.

Snowdropscrocus · 19/02/2023 15:55

@lovem explained that perfectly clearly. I think that the post should be reinstated. It should not have been deleted.

MN are not the morality police. But … they do have a responsibility for setting the tone for the place. If a number of us are saying that it’s uncomfortable, grim, unpleasant, I think that’s worthy of a response.

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:58

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

Exactly. I'm not sure what the spirit is any more. The tag line is 'by parents for parents' I think it might be time for an updated one.

Snowdropscrocus · 19/02/2023 16:00

Just walk past them

don’t go to that part of town

just ignore them

if you don’t like it, don’t go there

all ways of telling women that unacceptable behaviour by men is their responsibility by avoiding said behaviour, not that the behaviour itself is unacceptable.

Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 16:01

lovem · 19/02/2023 15:55

The "scrolling past it", "hide the topic", "live and let live" stuff doesn't alter the point of this thread or that other people have raised.

What is the spirit of mumsnet these days? Is it now a site that actively tries to invite the creeps of the internet in, having in the old days said "no way"?

Thank you!

OP posts:
LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 16:01

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

I mean you could report them for being men ...

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 16:05

Snowdropscrocus · 19/02/2023 16:00

Just walk past them

don’t go to that part of town

just ignore them

if you don’t like it, don’t go there

all ways of telling women that unacceptable behaviour by men is their responsibility by avoiding said behaviour, not that the behaviour itself is unacceptable.

Report any alleged predatory behaviour. Otherwise allow adults to make their own decisions and keep ya neb out is my top tip.

PinotPony · 19/02/2023 16:08

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 15:47

It’s not the women in SexChat that bothers people.

And yet, those of us on the thread who are women have been lumped in with the "disgusting, cheating, perverted men".

Take a moment to think how that feels. I always found the sex boards to be a place where I could talk openly and not be judged. Now I'm told that I'm no better than a paedophile.

By all means object to the content being on Active. We all want that. But please refrain from the judgemental outrage. Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like.

lovem · 19/02/2023 16:10

"Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like."

I mean ... you can read the posts. Openly. Of course you can get a sense for who's posting there Confused

And yeah I'd be feeling a bit attacked too but if you really don't think you're one of the creeps, why does it matter? And surely you want creeps to be blocked too?

Original poster
Brainbleachplease · 19/02/2023 16:10

PinotPony · 19/02/2023 16:08

And yet, those of us on the thread who are women have been lumped in with the "disgusting, cheating, perverted men".

Take a moment to think how that feels. I always found the sex boards to be a place where I could talk openly and not be judged. Now I'm told that I'm no better than a paedophile.

By all means object to the content being on Active. We all want that. But please refrain from the judgemental outrage. Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like.

Show quote history

And that's where you are wrong in regards to at least one poster.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 16:16

Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like

That's not really true. The thing on MN is anyone can be anything they like-nobody would ever know and unfortunately men have realised this.

LucyLeave · 19/02/2023 16:19

I think 'BigDave69 , married but bored wants some sexy chat with the ladies' tells me all I need to know about who uses the sex board.

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 16:23

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 16:01

I mean you could report them for being men ...

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If they were being creepy AF then yes.

Rhondaa · 19/02/2023 16:44

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 16:23

If they were being creepy AF then yes.

Show quote history

I don't think anyone disputes this, however there seems to be a belief among some overly concerned folk that anyone posting there is a creep, a predator or a vulnerable person been taken advantage of. News flash adults talk about sex! You don't need to approve, nor like it but for the trillionth time report any 'creepy' stuff that you apparently have seen (even though why on earth would you look) and leave other consenting adults to chat as they wish.

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 16:47

lovem · 19/02/2023 16:10

"Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like."

I mean ... you can read the posts. Openly. Of course you can get a sense for who's posting there Confused

And yeah I'd be feeling a bit attacked too but if you really don't think you're one of the creeps, why does it matter? And surely you want creeps to be blocked too?

I mean that's pretty judgey isn't it? What are "creeps"? Men wanting to talk about sex as far as I can tell. Or maybe men wanting to talk about sex of a type that nice ladies don't engage in? Are the ladies who do engage in it creeps also? Or the ones who want to talk about it?

Why exactly would you want to police that board?

LauraNicolaides · 19/02/2023 16:50

LucyLeave · 19/02/2023 16:19

I think 'BigDave69 , married but bored wants some sexy chat with the ladies' tells me all I need to know about who uses the sex board.

And come on, Dave is upfront on his mission statement Grin

PinotPony · 19/02/2023 17:15

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2023 16:16

Unless you actively participate on those boards, you have no idea what the people on there are really like

That's not really true. The thing on MN is anyone can be anything they like-nobody would ever know and unfortunately men have realised this.

That's true of any online platform and all the other topics on Mumsnet. Nobody has any idea who anybody else is. But, by engaging with individuals, it is fairly easy to get a sense of whether they're a decent person or a "creep".

Yes, there's some predatory men on there. A few have messaged me. I told them what I thought of them and moved on. I'm not prepared to tolerate men approaching me for wank fodder any more than you would. Most posts starting with "Tell me stories about..." are usually ignored.

However, there is a significant element of posters who are respectful and supportive of one another. And they don't deserve to be shamed as they have been over the past few days.

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