Mother's Day do's and don'ts

[CarrieMumsnet]

In case you hadn't noticed Mother's Day comes early this year (March 2nd to be precise) and we thought we'd compile (with your help) a list of do's and don'ts which you can then print out and leave lying around in strategic places so partners/ children/ anyone who owes you a gift, can see what you want (what you really really want) and just as importantly what you don't want.

So if you're prepared to risk receiving (yet another) Ann Summers thong then don't bother joining in. But if you'd like to be in with a chance of getting something you actually want, then please share your Mother's Day dreams (and nightmares) here.

(and to anyone joining us from Pedants' corner please feel free to share your views on the old Mothers' vs Mother's Day debate)

Thanks

MNHQ

DO

Give your wife / mother to your DC a nice LIE IN BED
When waking up said mummy, ensure DC are clean, fed and happy.
Purchase a HUGE decent bunch of flowers, to acknowledge all she does for your children. ( and you )
Make sure there is a card from the DC, written by you, if too young to write, and a nice scribble or picture from the DC inside. ( unless big enough to make their own. )
A gift ( small and modest... ish.. no sod it, a nice big sparkly one ) from the DC to their mummy to thank them for all you do for them
Give her the day off from all childcare. DO all the cooking, and washing, dressing feeding of DC.

DONT

on your wifes first year being a mummy, not turn up at lunchtime, if you were supposed to be home from work 2 days before but got delayed due to work, ( because you usually working away from home in the week) then turn round on the motorway as you cannot get through on the phone because your wife has been so upset by lack of showing up, that she turned the phone off, before she threw it in the river along with your belongings.....
say well I got a card, its in the car. but neither you OR the car OR the card are actually with your wife.

get the picture???

DO NOT be so brain numbingly unreasonable as to expect a card from any child under the age of 2. Expecting your partner to buy and write a card from a newborn who doesn't have a clue to his/her mummy is just gross.

Mother's day is so your children can show their appreciation of you. When they are old enough. It's not so you can emotionally blackmail your partner.

DO NOT put any pressure onto partners or children to make a huge effort for you. REMEMBER that being a good mum is something you should do anyway, you shouldn't expect presents for being a good mum. It's always nice when they show their appreciation, but to EXPECT all of that rather defeats the point. Your gratitude should lie in the way your children behave, their very being should be reward enough for all your hard work.

DO NOT give card companies any more bloody money. Paper and coloured pens are all your kids need.

Notes to DH:
-you need to buy a card for your own mother.
-Pace yourself - try to be a little bit nice all day, rather than cooking a gourmet breakfast then spending the rest of the day asleep on the sofa.
-Remember to prime the children so that they know why they are giving me a gift/card.

I get the "you're not my mother" comment every year from dh but the fact of the matter is that I am the one who buys his mum the card and present. All he has to do is sign the card and receive the gratitude. My mum is also the one who can be bothered to take out my dds to get me a present. GRRRR

Why do people like flowers so much? They die in a few days and start to smell. And you can't eat them. DW has always said she'd much rather have chocs!

Genuflection towards bluestocking, who lives up to her name by using pace on here.

Dont include childless female relatives in the general dishing out of flowers/gifts/whatevers. I have this done to me quite often and it bugs the hell out of me!!!!! The clue is Mother's day or mothering sunday not random childless relative day.unless they are adopting or fostering a child of their own of course.

sounds mean but I want a day for me and my dd, not to have to share it with my childless siblings (who chose not to have kids but still seem to want the bits like mother's day and being 'mothers by proxy' included in their lives).

grrrrrrrrrrrrr

I always send a gift and card to my childless godmother.
She is like a second mother to me, anyway.
I always write 'Happy Godmothering Sunday' on the card.

It's different when it's from the child/god-child (although I've never sent my godmother a card on Mother's day come to think of it) but when adults decide to step in to 'spare' someone's else's feelings. My parents organise things for my dd on Mothering Sunday (I help her choose things to do for my Mum) and since my sister might feel 'left out' they organise for dd to give her gifts as well!! they don't organise for my niece to give her a gift as well, just my dd. i don't get it but it annoys me.

OMG I'd forgotten, but eons ago when DH and I were first going out I was staying with his family for Mother's Day. We were going out for lunch, but FIL hadn't booked a table, so obv no room.

We ended up at McDonalds.

Drive-thro.

My in-laws separated 6 months later...

Don't remember your mother but forget that your DP/DW is actually a mother herself. DH made this mistake over 10 years ago and yet somehow I still feel the need to remind him of it every year.

But surely the clue is in the title "Mothering Sunday"? To your dh you are his wife, not his mother. Your children should do something for you when they are old enough and then, sure he can help and encourage, but you are not his mother so shouldn't expect anything directly from him.

And I don't understand those wives who get cards for their mils from their dh's. If he didn't get his mother a card before he met you, then why should you step in and get one for him? If he doesn't give a toss it's not up to you to pretend he does. You're just giving him an excuse to sit back and do nothing, safe in the knowledge that you'll do it for him again.

Agree re buying presents/cards for MILs - it's called Making A Rod For Your Own Back.

I think when the kids are too little to make/buy a card it does fall to the father to organise. At some point (when they're 7ish?) he can reasonably pass the buck to the kids themselves.

Another point - do be sensitive to those who have lost their mothers - it can be a very hard day to get through, and a big fuss from/on behalf of the kids does help.

I see the title mother as an honorific and not specific to any particular person in the house

I am the mother of the house, therefore on Mothers Day I get the glory. Same for dp on Fathers Day - IMO it's a day of giving thanks to the mothers in the world - not YOUR mother specifically.

DON'T.. get me a giftpack.
DON'T.. forget.
That's it.

Mothering Sunday this year is also my brother's birthday - quite appropriate.

Has anyone else ever thought it funny that Father's Day is 9mo before Mothering Sunday or is it just me?

Flowers are beautiful UQD, and far less calorific than chocolate... I always think that gifts showing appreciation (romantic or otherwise) are more meaningful on a non-anniversary day actually and forgot about Mothering Sunday until I saw this thread.

Having said that, must mention to dh

Don't forget the card, then grab a piece of A4 paper, fold in half and scribble a picture on it as if the baby has made a picture. The next few years after, rushing out on the day to get some cheap flowers and a card isn't any better either.

Don't buy a doormat, oven gloves or tea towels as a gift EVER

I hate breakfast in bed because the last thing I want to do the minute I open my eyes is wolf down a bowl of muesli.

I would like a book for mothers day. Or a laminating machine.

Encourage your DH/DP to occupy the children for a great many hours making 'mothers day cupcakes' regular cupcakes but with hand decorations courtesy of the little monsters darlings. Ensure at least a full morning's distractions by ensuring none of the ingredients required are in the house and must be collected by your DH (with kids in toe) from the supermarket.

Make sure they know you only want three perfect cakes but they can have as many attempts as they like making them. Then go in the bath and refuse to come out till it's done and the kitchen is clean. The kids will run your DH ragged, eat tons of cake and then crash out, while you paint your nails in peace

A couple of years ago DH asked me what I wanted for Mothers day and actually listened and paid attention (for the one and only time in our marRiage) when I said 'not much, just get the boys to buy me some daffodils or something'. He bought me said cheap bunch of daffodil's which would have been fine except for the fact that he bought them and gave them to me a week before as he was worried that they might cost more nearer Mothers day and then wondered why I was cross when I got nothing on the actual day despite the fact that I was cooking roast dinner for both our parents!

It is my birthday on Mother's Day this year. I have already communicated my expectations to dh (And I have already organised my present - a ring with two stones set in to represent dses). I don't really need flowers or cards, but I would like a nice glass of champagne and I would like ds1 to draw me a picture. We will be staying at relatives' and will be taken out to lunch, so domestic stuff not so much an issue.

Well....I agree with Rhubarb.

do you? did people who think that mothers day is just for the children, not get a fuss on Mothers Day when they were new mothers with small children then?