Please can we have a new topic for Suicide?

[JungleZgok]

I recently lost my DS aged only 18 years to suicide.

Since then, I have found out that in the UK it is the number 1 cause of death in young people, in particular men. In the US, it is the number 2 cause of death.

I have been shocked to find out after my DS's death, that many of my RL friends have told me that either they, their dc or a close loved one have had the experience of suicidal thoughts or been impacted by someone struggling with this too. More worryingly, my other dc tells me that this is common among their friends too.

A topic area where we can share information and links to help others and share experiences would be very much appreciated. I for one would very much appreciate the support of families who have been left behind through suicide.

I don't have personal experience of losing family members to suicide (it was bad enough losing a friend that way) but I want to give you my support and bump this for you.

I hope you find the support and peace you deserve, @JungleZgok x

How terrible for you. It's the very worst thing. I hope you find peace 💐

Hello OP,

We are so very sorry for your loss. We can't imagine how difficult this must have been for you.

We currently have a mental health topic where discussion about suicide takes place - we also have a bereavement topic. That being said, we completely understand why you would make this suggestion. We will have a discussion about it in the office.

All our love and very best wishes

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss and I send you all my love.

I have been there; thankfully I crawled my way out, but I totally agree that it is something that we need to be able to talk about more openly. I applaud you for promoting a safe space for people to be able to discuss their feelings openly, as sometimes it’s easier to talk to people you don’t know.

Thank you for sharing. Xxx

I am so sorry, JungleZgok. I support this request.

I don't know for sure but it seems from this:

I for one would very much appreciate the support of families who have been left behind through suicide

that the OP is thinking more of a space for those bereaved by suicide or possibly even those struggling with a friend or family member at risk of suicide, whereas in your post you're talking about the need for places for people who are themselves at risk of suicide?

My instinct is that a place for people to discuss their own suicidal feelings and a place where people discuss being bereaved by suicide need to be two separate places, because those groups have very different needs and it could cause… problems, if they're sharing the same space.

Of course we know that often someone can very easily be in both of those groups and that the suicide of someone close to you can bea risk factor.

It's just that I've seen discussions get quite unpleasant in the past when these groups come together, in ways I don't really want to detail but I think others will have seen or can probably guess.

Have you heard is SOBS, survivors of bereavement by Suicide. uksobs.org/

@LilyMumsnet - thank you!

I was aware of the bereavement and mental health topic areas. I am aware, however, that threads that mention suicide can be triggering, so thought having a separate topic area in which to discuss this safely would be beneficial.

Additionally having maybe a sticky with links where help can be found for either those contemplating suicide and having links to warning signs would be really helpful too.

I knew my son had suicidal thoughts and even though he was under CAMS ad NHS Adult Mental Health Services, had a therapist, and psychiatrist, talked to the school welfare Officer and was also completely open with us - we still missed so much.

I'm a lot more aware than I was now - but so much information on suicide is scattered and it seems to still be a taboo subject. Also as a parent who lived through the stress of trying to help my son with his depression and suicidal thoughts, I could not easily research widely.

I never ever want another mum to go through the most unimaginable pain of losing a precious child to suicide. As the number one leading cause of death in young people, more awareness is key. If this topic area can help just one reader or poster, it will be worth it.

Thanks to everyone's kind words. Mumsnet has always been tremendously supportive in so many ways.

@ClumpingBambooIsALie I totally see your point; I had read it a different way. Hopefully only good can come from either/both.

@ClumpingBambooIsALie - thank you for raising this point - I was unaware of this. It is a shame that discussions can get unpleasant.

Also thank you for pointing out that they need to be two or three separate areas (if there is a new topic area created).

@MarpleFan yeah you could read it either way I think?

@JungleZgok I think often the flashpoints come from people who are bereaved by suicide/worried about a suicidal loved one, having a wide range of feelings which they should be able to express, including things like anger and betrayal, but some of which can be difficult for those struggling with suicidal feelings themselves.

Unfortunately, I think a forum with that heading could become something that Mumsnet would be unwise to facilitate. It is also asking something of the moderators which is beyond their expertise and reasonable expectation. Compare with Samaritans, for example, who have appropriate training and support.

A board for people bereaved by suicide might work and be helpful for the OP and others sadly in that situation, but not sure it would be wise to host one specifically for people struggling with suicidal thoughts on a forum which isn't proactively monitored.

Agree with both the above re: the hazards of running a board specifically for people to discuss feeling suicidal. Can definitely see the worth in a board for those coping with a suicidal loved one or with bereavement by suicide.

Yes a board for those dealing with the aftermath of suicide has definitely got my support and not to be confused with ongoing mental health boards. It could sit better under the bereavement topic.