sorry if this has been mentioned but..

[WideWebWitch]

Did Justine not say somewhere that 'pinned' or sticky threads would be reserved for site related stuff only? Just wondering since Expat's thread is pinned and that seems to me to be a charitable appeal rather than site stuff. And I guess I'm wondering if we're going down that road of making charitable/philanthropic thread 'sticky' (not that it's my site, mumsnet can do whatever they want, of course) then erm, who decides who is deserving of being pinned and who is not?

Sorry if this is a silly question. I've only skimmed the thread iq so I may be talkign bollocks do tell me fk off if so! But I only just came on tonight and it was at the top so I thought I'd ask

(I hope no-one incl EPIS takes offence at this, I am just interested in the answer, it's not that I'm unsympathetic, I absolutely am not)

www, i blardy love you!, bk xxx

Hope your DCs don't read that Justine....

and what about the unprolific posters? if they have a miscarriage or a bereavement - is that somehow less worthy of notice? as www said, who decides?

my 2c? Mnet towers should keep the stickies for site stuff only - how can Mnet endorse some bereavements and not others?

i speak as someone who has endured a miscarriage and who has every sympathy for expat and other posters suffering the same thing .

Well it wasn't so just about a bereavement as such bossykate - though obviously we are, as everyone is, very sad about that - it was about the particular circumstances of Expat's case and the sheer injustice of having stick around on a labour ward for a procedure after suffering a bereavement. Just seemed something that was worth highlighting and bringing to folks' attention in the hope that collectively we can do something about it.

But as we've both said, making some threads a sticky and not others means making a a lot of sympathy for your position that we shouldn't make any. Of course the upshot of that, though, is that we are very passive. I spose at the end of the day there are just some instances in which we'll find that very hard.

Without wishing to cause a ruckus, I think it would have been better to leave this conversation until a latter time, don't you?

I agree LL - although I would like to say that, had it not had a sticky, there was a rabble of at least 4 MNers who would have been online at all times to ensure it was bumped and kept at the top of active convos if there was no sticky.

So either way, it'd have been at the top of active convos until such time we (the rabble of MNers) felt it necessary to let it drop.

The distinction, in this particular case was knowing that we absolutely had to do something to help, and, we could do something to help because the circumstances were so dire and they neednt have been. It needed more than tea and sympathy, and we were able to give more than tea and sympathy so it's worth shouting about.

I think that was clear to most people, and I think MNHQ picked up on this vibe - appropriately, as far as I am concerned.

I thought it was absolutely lovely, kind, appropriate and altogether thoughtful of MNHQ to make that thread a sticky.

At the end of the day I trust you gals and guy to make decisons based not just on all the MN policies, but also from the heart- that's what makes Mumsnet 'Mumsnet' after all is it not? (Well, it is for me anyway)

Besides....does it really do any harm if something is stuck to the top of the board? And I agree with LL- I DO find it disappointing that this topic was posted at this time, rather than waiting until a more appropriate one- or raising the issue by emailing MNHQ.

Well I completely disagree Littlelapin, I refuse not to post a view because of some notion of I don't know, what? Tiptoeing around Epis?

This is a perfectly reasonable question and I did say I'm not unsympathetic, just asking for clarity on mn policy. It's NOT about the specific thread, it's about the principle, which I think is worth (sensitively) discussing. As we are doing.

So despite the fact that it could have caused expat some distress - it doesn't seem to have, thankfully - a fact that you implicitly acknowledge the last line of your OP, you didn't feel that you could wait, what, a week to post this? Your opinion is THAT important?

steady on, lapin.

Why? Oh gosh, might I upset WWW?

i can see where laplin is coming from. But i don't think that anyone in expats current position would want to see this thread. I certainly would'nt.

Well, this'll get ugly.

And I wish it wouldn't

Fwiw, I think MNHQ can pin whatever the fuck they like, it's their site. As long as they don't take formula company money, that's fine by me.

lol away in a munker

I think www has made a really good point and I agree that site stuff only should get stickies for the reasons she says.

I can see how MN towers made the decision though as the whole sticky thing is so new and as Justine explained, EPIS being in the labour ward has wider implications.

And I think WWW has been sensitive in starting this thread, and the timing of it is fine.

The longer you wait to have this discussiona and reach a clear decision, the more chance other mumsnetters, also going through an awful time, will be left wondering if their thread is worth meriting a sticky and how MN decides who gets one.

Christmas is a time of crisis for many people, so more chance of mumsnet threads reflecting this. So I think it's good to sort out how the stickies work as soon as possible.

And of course I am sorry for all EPIS is going through.

"erm, who decides who is deserving of being pinned and who is not?"

i think MNHQ does, which is fine isn't it as it's their site? so www has just posted in the same vein as those of us querying the Vicki Scott stuff elsewhere... it's just that she might better have waited a week or so to do it imo.

Please indicate where I have been rude. Or aggressive, for that matter.

For all of the lovers of rules and regulations: has there ever been a sticky that has offended you and that you think really shouldn't be there?

If not, what is the problem? Do we really have to have hard and fast rules? On average there is probably only a couple of stickies at a time, is this such a problem?

It is so insensitive to bring this up at the moment

I can't see where Lapin's been rude or aggressive. Exasperated and upset that EIS might see this thread at a delicate time, yes. But not rude or aggressive.

rude and agressive are the 2 least words that i would ever use to describe LL

i've read the thread again and can't see anywhere that lapin's been rude or aggressive. www has every right to ask the question, whether she could have been more sensitive and waited awhile is another question, bearing in mind that expat's the one going through a difficult time at the moment and also by definition she was the person least involved in the decision to put up a sticky. (god, even writing that it sounds so embarrassingly trivial. perhaps we should form an MN subcommittee to discuss the issue of stickies? or a sub sub committee? it's just so silly, esp when you can get rid of them anyway.)

Lapin has been neither rude or agressive in voicing her opinion- an opinion that I happen to totally agree with by the way.

I would be rather careful about the use of those two words if I were you batters [hmmm]

So something is made a sticky- that doesn't force anyone to read it so what's the bloody issue here?

surely being rude and agressive would involve threatning and swearing. where has laplin done that?