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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can we have an Asian and ethnic minorities board please?

277 replies

KenAdams · 16/09/2020 19:17

I thought we were included on the Black board but I've been told in no uncertain terms its not for us so could we have an Asian and ethnic minority board please? Global majority is also fine. No one is excluded, everyone can post on it but it will be easier to note those posts that have a particular cultural element to them.

OP posts:
AMemeByAnyOtherName · 24/09/2020 15:40

@LastTrainEast because OP is saying that BAME people were told they're not welcome, when in fact it was just made clear that the board was being created for one specific demographic as opposed to the BAME umbrella. So it's an incorrect statement that is fuelling arguments where there shouldn't be any. I don't personally think it's fair to the people who want an AME board. But he's done it now, so the thread was derailed before it even started.

Devlesko · 24/09/2020 15:42

A mixed ethnicity board would be good because it would also include "other whites" Irish travellers, Romany, Gypsies. As well as Asian and other ME.

PurpleHoodie · 25/09/2020 06:57

Asian MN boards will be a fantastic addition here.

I fully endorse this.

pastandpresent · 25/09/2020 07:05

I think some posters are twisting what OP said. She clearly says on her OP, she was told new black board is just for black people, not for others. Which is true.

From the screenshot, it looks like she asked if it's for BAME, she was simply told no. That's all OP said. And that's exactly what she says on her OP. So why people who aren't AME coming here and derailing this thread? That is totally not fair.

GCAcademic · 25/09/2020 07:33

I would find such a board useful. Perhaps @MNHQ could comfirm where their thinking is with this? It feels like they have gone a bit quiet.

longcoffee · 25/09/2020 07:44

I'm white, so not at all qualified to comment. Also on A LOT of very strange drugs posting from my hospital bed, so may be talking utter cack anyway. Please ignore if so.

I read, and enjoy, posts about all sorts off issues on Mumsnet. Whilst 'AME' (is that right way to say, sorry if not!) specific issues are nothing to do with me personally, i am interested to read the threads in the same way I would be to have a conversation with an AME friend in real life.

I'm likely to be as much help as a chocolate teapot with offering advice (esp now!), but will always offer a friendly ear/support/external view, if i can.

Understand the desire for separate boards, but please MNHQ, don't take away from the fact that we're all a community, and here to support each other.

Drug fuelled ramble over!

thedalaisllama · 25/09/2020 08:13

Sorry still laughing at the 'they need space to discuss saris, henna and arranged marriages' commentGrinGrin. Shall we try these instead: 'my manager treats me differently and I am the only non-white person on my team - any tips' 'there is nobody my colour in middle management positions or above in my workplace, I have tried to apply for positions but keep failing' 'I live in an area with a high concentration of minorities and can't seem to get access to health/council services my white colleagues don't seem to have a problem with' 'I am the only non-white person in my area/child's school and nobody will talk to me' 'I want to holiday in the UK, where would you recommend'

HelpMeFindAName · 25/09/2020 09:29

A board which relates to people of Asian heritage and Asian items of interest, would definitely "include" those Jewish persons who have Asian heritage e.g. from Israel.

I say "include" as I don't want to imply that no one of non-Asian heritage is welcome to post or lurk there. This would just be a space for people of Asian heritage to post their musings in respect of Asian-centric items and issues, and people of non-Asian heritage to learn/lurk and post about items of interest and issues being faced by those of Asian heritage.

I do think having separate "Asian-interest" and "Other Minority Ethnic-interest" boards would be useful - purely in terms of being proportional to UK demographics (Mumsnet styling itself as a predominantly UK site).

I absolutely believe we are one community who are here to support one another, but I have seen posts made elsewhere by Asian posters which have been met with raised eyebrows, confusion, unhelpful responses and sometimes downright ignorance. This space would really help.

HelpMeFindAName · 25/09/2020 09:36

Apologies the first bit of my last post was addressed to you @SheepandCow .

PatricksRum · 26/09/2020 05:52

@pastandpresent

I think some posters are twisting what OP said. She clearly says on her OP, she was told new black board is just for black people, not for others. Which is true.

From the screenshot, it looks like she asked if it's for BAME, she was simply told no. That's all OP said. And that's exactly what she says on her OP. So why people who aren't AME coming here and derailing this thread? That is totally not fair.

Nope. I didn't say anyone was not welcome to post.

OP asked about the name/ intent of the section and I said no. As that "question" was brought up many times before.

The same could be applied to OP. Why did they come on a thread about a black board and start derailing it?
I can answer why I'm here, because I'm being accused of something I didn't say nor do.
Had OP simply made a thread asking for an Asian board I wouldn't be here.

Doesn't seem very genuine if I'm honest.

drspouse · 26/09/2020 08:19

@thedalaisllama

Sorry still laughing at the 'they need space to discuss saris, henna and arranged marriages' commentGrinGrin. Shall we try these instead: 'my manager treats me differently and I am the only non-white person on my team - any tips' 'there is nobody my colour in middle management positions or above in my workplace, I have tried to apply for positions but keep failing' 'I live in an area with a high concentration of minorities and can't seem to get access to health/council services my white colleagues don't seem to have a problem with' 'I am the only non-white person in my area/child's school and nobody will talk to me' 'I want to holiday in the UK, where would you recommend'
This is exactly what I want out of any new board - space to discuss the things my DD (who falls under ME) will face in the future. Also (not too far off as she'll be a teenager in 7 years), "surely you're going to have lots of kids", "do your parents let you out?" "ooh I always wanted a brown girlfriend".
CayrolBaaaskin · 26/09/2020 08:28

I dunno if minority ethnic is specific enough to need a separate board. Am I minority ethnic- I’m a white Jew. I usually would consider myself to be at a push but dunno if I would post on a separate board unless it was for jews specifically (so would cover issues I would know about and be interested in - not to exclude anyone).

If all are welcome I don’t see any harm in having a board on specific issues but I think general minority ethnic is too vague.

pastandpresent · 26/09/2020 10:16

@PatricksRum

Op didn't say you said other people were unwelcomed. She simply said you told her it's not for AME. Which is totally fine, and I respect that. I don't know why she mentioned about you, maybe she felt hurt and rejected? No clue, tbh.

The reason why they came on to your thread and asked for Asian/AME board was explained to you by OhReallyThen, I vaguely remember. I can't remember exactly but she said she simply didn't think of starting a thread on site stuff or something like that.

It's great you got black board, and it's natural for some others to want it too, and many were inspired by you. I was too. I believe the reason they started asking for AME board on your thread was nothing to do with maliciousness. I think they simply thought it was a great idea, and commented. That was all.

PatricksRum · 26/09/2020 10:19

[quote pastandpresent]@PatricksRum

Op didn't say you said other people were unwelcomed. She simply said you told her it's not for AME. Which is totally fine, and I respect that. I don't know why she mentioned about you, maybe she felt hurt and rejected? No clue, tbh.

The reason why they came on to your thread and asked for Asian/AME board was explained to you by OhReallyThen, I vaguely remember. I can't remember exactly but she said she simply didn't think of starting a thread on site stuff or something like that.

It's great you got black board, and it's natural for some others to want it too, and many were inspired by you. I was too. I believe the reason they started asking for AME board on your thread was nothing to do with maliciousness. I think they simply thought it was a great idea, and commented. That was all.[/quote]
I've attached an image of where I directly asked the OP if AME were welcome and she said no.

What do you call that?

pastandpresent · 26/09/2020 10:28

OK Patrick. Like I said, I don't know why she phrased it like that, but maybe that's what she felt, she felt rejected. I can understand why.

But, yes, you have every right to clear your name and correct the misunderstanding with such a matter.
I am sorry.

Sorry OP. I was trying to comment from fellow Asian pov, but caused further derailing, which is not my intention.

PatricksRum · 26/09/2020 11:32

@pastandpresent

OK Patrick. Like I said, I don't know why she phrased it like that, but maybe that's what she felt, she felt rejected. I can understand why.

But, yes, you have every right to clear your name and correct the misunderstanding with such a matter.
I am sorry.

Sorry OP. I was trying to comment from fellow Asian pov, but caused further derailing, which is not my intention.

No need to apologise.

I don't think requesting a new board with a thread starting with false accusations of another ethnic minority poster is the way to go if I'm honest.

As I've said, no rejection to something that has no bearing on me but just keep my name out of it.

Devlesko · 26/09/2020 13:23

The problem with an Asian board is the fact that other minority groups not big enough to have their own boards would be missed out.
An ethnic minority board would include everyone.
Then just like any other board you answer or ask the questions relevant to you.

pastandpresent · 26/09/2020 14:27

Yes, I agree, Devlesko. Even just for Asian, that include so many different nationalities/countries that has no connection at all to each other. Language is totally different, religion is totally different, etc, etc.
Ethnic minority maybe better, so everyone feel included. And then, if large enough group of certain Asian people wants special board for them, I think that's fine too.

Devlesko · 26/09/2020 14:47

Yes, I have a bit of Asian but couldn't call myself Asian.
But, part of my culture is the old Indian caste system, although, I'm white
I know there aren't enough of us for a Romany Gypsy Traveller board, but we come under BAME as white other.
The AME part of BAME covers all ethnicities that aren't Black.

KenAdams · 29/09/2020 13:05

@PatricksRum can you please confirm whether or not AME posters are welcome on the black board please?

If we are welcome there's obviously no need for an AME board. I took you replying "no" as us not being welcome.

OP posts:
KenAdams · 29/09/2020 13:22

My intention for this thread was because I assumed from the posts on the black board thread AME weren't welcome. If we are, no need for a separate board. If we're not, I'd like a separate board, but I don't want to dictate what that might look like, I think we need a collective approach on that.

Of course Jewish posters would be welcome as they are classed as ME!

I'm just asking for a space, as I was advised to do on the black thread. I don't understand why me asking if black includes all BAME is derailing a thread.

Just because I'm not monitoring this post minute by minute, doesn't mean I'm not serious about this.

OP posts:
drspouse · 29/09/2020 13:39

I also asked whether I'd be welcome (mum of a child who is ME) and while I appreciate that I am not myself ME or Black I was told no, it's for Black Mumsnetters. It's welcoming to non-Black Mumsnetters who are posting on Black issues but it's about Black issues - I've felt comfortable giving suggestions of African authors (I used to run the school library in a majority Black school in Southern Africa) but I wouldn't start a thread on how to talk to my ME daughter about assumptions people will make about her when she's older because she, and I, are not Black.

I think that's right if it's what Black Mumsnetters want and don't really see why there's been so much pushback on this thread (OK, I see the usual "don't teach your children that they are different and nobody will be racist towards them" apologists, but the rest of you? What's wrong?).

Why don't we (or the OP) just ask for the board for AME and Mumsnet will likely say yes and the rest of the posters a) if they have their board e.g. SEND they are cool and b) if they haven't and want one they can ask too.

NumbsMet · 29/09/2020 13:40

@KenAdams may I ask which kinds of black topics apply to other AME groups? Because the consensus seems to be that nobody is going to tell you to go away, but that it wouldn't be appropriate to start a thread on a black board to ask about Asian topics, for example. Is that the issue that you have? Everything up to this point seems so vague that I'm not surprised that people are questioning the intention of the OP.

NumbsMet · 29/09/2020 13:43

Also @KenAdams I've observed that people are asking you questions in order to ascertain what exactly you're asking for, but you're not answering and then people are left to fight it out amongst themselves. Of course nobody would think that you need to be checking the thread every half an hour, but as the OP is there a chance you could engage a bit more in order to further things along? It all seems to be a bit one step forward and two steps back.

drspouse · 29/09/2020 13:47

@NumbsMet see my previous post - racism towards my DD is different to racism towards Black people but it's still racism - I wouldn't butt in and start my own thread about issues my DD has faced or may face, because she's not Black.

So "where is she from", "her eyes are like chocolate drops", "where can we go on holiday without being stared at" - common to many BAME and mixed families.
"Can I touch your hair, it looks so lovely" - not likely to affect my DD.
"Don't you have to wear a hijab/aren't your parents really strict" - more likely to affect those who are AME.