Hello MNHQ, could you PLEASE consider having a word with some of the people on the coronavirus threads?

[Kokeshi123]

I'm getting frustrated with the tone adopted by a lot of people on here, many of whom appear to be almost enjoying the fact that they havein their opiniona kind of socially sanctioned excuse for unpleasantness, swearing, "FFS" galore, nasty judgmental comments, giving horrible replies to people who are merely confused and asking questions, and a whole lot else.

I would report, but the thing is, it's EVERYWHERE. I would end up reporting half the threads I read.

We need some generalized guidance from MNHQ, including warnings that the ban-hammer will be wielded for repeated offenders.

I am in East Asia where we have been dealing with the pandemic more effectively than most European countries and America. What's striking is the way people in East Asia are quietly getting on with things, rather than snarling and bitching at each other.

We need to pull together in this crisis and we need to have transparency of information. It's worrying if people are made to feel that they will be spoken to in this ghastly way every time they ask for clarification or advice.

Yes, I agree - every day MNers are feeling the impact of the crisis on their own lives and one on here to vent/get advice/connect in a time when we need this place more than ever.

There are several threads where an OP is lamenting or fretting about a concern they have, only to be told that they should STFU because everyone else has problems too.

One example (which unfortunately isn't the only one) is where the OP was concerned about cancellation of her DC's routine (but still important) medical appointments, to be told something along the lines of 'you're unbelievable you fucking cunt' - WTAF?

We've all been having those moments of 'oh no, this means that x is cancelled too', 'what a shame, we can't do y', 'I wonder what's likely to happen about z', but if you voice any of those thoughts on MN, posters will merely point out your selfishness and/or fucking stupidity.

I know everyone is stressed right now and there's a sense across society that normal rules don't apply, but the viciousness on MN lately is just horrible. I had the day off of it until this evening and actually felt so much better for it.

A lot of people accusing others of being stupid when they're really just a few thought processes behind some others and haven't considered all the scenarios yet. I hope it doesn't put people off asking for help.

I agree, everyone has become resentful because others aren't doing what they think they should be doing. It's a tough time! Some have it worse than others, that's life at the best of times.

Yep, I just thought the same - one poor woman just got repeatedly berated for not understanding rules, which the rude person had got wrong. (The rule is essential travel ie from a to b to get to and from work IF you can’t do it from home, not ‘Only if that work is deemed essential healthcare‘)
Totally unnecessary.

As they say "The message does not get through when the person delivering the message comes across as an arsehole."
I am seeing a lot of this on these threads.

I am getting especially pissed off with people who are basically inventing rules, like telling people they shouldn't go for a walk (you are allowed to!), people shouting at people for wanting to do DIY at home that kind of thing. Positively revelling in the fact that finally they have a cast-iron excuse to police people's behavior

MNHQ, I understand that your office is no doubt dealing with your own difficult workplace issues and you must be feeling very stressed as well. I don't want to add more to your plate. But please, please consider saying something to these people! I am sure I am not the only person who is going to start avoiding the site if this carries on because I can't be dealing with this stuff at the moment--look at the number of people who are asking to have CV-related threads hidden because they say that their mental health can't take any more of this. And how are we going to get sensible messages out there if people start avoiding these threads?

We still need to report personal attacks, people seem to be forgetting to.

Someone being snowflakey is one thing but being called a cunt or told to fuck off you selfish fuck because you asked if you could e.g go to your allotment, is beyond the pale.

Oh, just seen someone asking MNHQ if they can please start reporting posters to the Police for asking if they should do certain things or suggesting they might.

Time for a break I think.

Yeah me too New Year! Horrible atmosphere here at the moment.

#bekind is obviously so last month.

I saw a meme the other week which read “I see last month’s #beKind has changed to #fuck everyone else....”.

Tbh for me it’s the mass hysteria surrounding some of these threads. I think that questions around say, hospital appointments are perfectly fine as the s hospitals themselves still aren’t being clear on a lot of this. And there is certainly no need to call anyone a c** (did someone actually say that?) for asking a question.

But it’s the almost gleeful way in which some of the people on the “let’s lock down society” types are posting. Wording to the effect of “just you wait and see in a couple of weeks; we’re going to be stepping over bodies in the streets; I hope that if you go out you’re not expecting a hospital bed when you inevitably want to breathe your last breath.”

I said a long time ago that I actually think the coronavirus topic needs to go at this point, because there is literally nothing positive about it.And while this is absolutely a time of change for all of us, life does go on, and will go on when this is all over (and it will be over) and if people can’t speak to one another without hysteria and name calling then maybe they shouldn’t be able to speak to each other at all.

I’m reporting and reporting and reporting, and I’m not even reading the CV topic (except that wretched “trending now” box; MN, please take note); I’ve hidden AIBU as well. MN is making the Daily Mail comments section look civilised. The vitriol simply must stop. No doubt the same posters are going to try and bring everyone down when restrictions are eased.

Oh, just seen someone asking MNHQ if they can please start reporting posters to the Police for asking if they should do certain things or suggesting they might. actually I’m going to go further from my last post. If I were mn HQ I’d actually be taking the site offline at this point.

I so agree with you OP. I'm on the verge of deleting my app for a bit. I can't believe such hysterical snarling at one another is being tolerated.

Hello everyone - thanks for your comments.

We should start by saying it’s a bit difficult for us to moderate tone - and we don’t really want to go down that road at the best of times - but out-and-out personal attacks will be deleted if you report them to us. It’s not okay to call another person names, no matter how strained a discussion is. The very core of our guidelines is civil discussion and we know from experience that most Mumsnetters can and do get their point across eloquently and without resorting to abuse. We’ve said it before (and we might as well say it again) - report to us and we’ll take a look - it’d really help us out if you let us know when things have taken a wrong turn.

We agree that everyone should be able to express their fears and anxieties, and get a roundly empathetic and sensible response - but equally, we understand that at this time, many of our users will be having a really hard time in real life and may not be posting with their usual restraint! We’re trying to be mindful of things from all sides. In short, the guidelines still apply - and anyone who consistently causes trouble on threads will hear from us - but we’re not going to swing the ban hammer any harder than we usually do.

So please do report - or mail us directly at [email protected]

Thanks.

I agree people are being vile and abusive.

I reported one such instance yesterday, it was vile. It got deleted quite quickly.

Keep up the good work MNHQ

I won’t defend people being vile and abusive, but to be honest I have seen way too many posts that are beyond stupid.

People are angry and frightened because their life and the lives of people they love, are at risk. Bluntly, a testy post isn’t going to kill anyone, but selfish, stupid, thoughtless actions could.

Bluntly, a testy post isn’t going to kill anyone, but selfish, stupid, thoughtless actions could.

But an abusive post could easily adversely effect the mental health of a poster. Not everyone has an IQ above average. Some people are slower to understand, they deserve patience and understanding, not abuse.

I agree. MN is a miserable dump at the moment. And boring.

I agree OP. And Thankyou MNHQ. We should feel free to report posts with personal insults in them.

Sarah again I’m not defending abuse. But bereavement isn’t great for people’s mental health either.

I take your point about the people who need patience and help to understand the situation. I have sympathy for people with complex needs and poor education, who will probably not come out of this well, but some of the entitled me me me posters do need a kick up the arse!

I think we need a I know I'm being a dick but I need to vent section. Like the Other Place, it wouldn't appear on Active or AS and threads would disappear pretty sharpish.

We're all going to have moments where we're being a dick, it would be better to have somewhere for that, than posters bitchplopping or having a go on other people's threads.

@DioneTheDiabolist

I think we need a I know I'm being a dick but I need to vent section. Like the Other Place, it wouldn't appear on Active or AS and threads would disappear pretty sharpish.

We'll certainly think about this, Dione.

In the meantime, we just wanted to let you all know that we've set up a new topic in Other Stuff - The corona-free zone - for everyone who wants somewhere to get away from all this.

Here's a link to our thread - Welcome to the no-corona-zone.

Hopefully we'll be seeing many of you over there.

I've reported the "screaming in gardens" thread - full of personal insults, and unpleasant synonyms for children.

Please don’t take the site down MN, I’m so thankful to have had it over the last few weeks, it’s alerted me to issues and been the most reliable and up-to-date source of info I can find! (I’m an Oxbridge graduate, and I really do mean that.) Thank you. People DO need to be a bit kinder though, I agree.