I had a post deleted and can't recall exactly what I said

[SpoonBlender]

Over in www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3834408-To-not-upgrade-the-phone I had a post deleted, and another poster commented "you should be ashamed of yourself". I'm a bit aghast, as I certainly wouldn't have intended to say anything deserving of deletion or that comment... but buggered if I can remember exactly what I said, I thought it was something fairly innocuous about OP's kid being a CF and they can get a new phone when they can afford to pay for one.

So I went to see if I'd had a warning email. Not that I can find.

I had a think about this, and the situation is that I've had a comment deleted, replaced with the usual "Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.". But if I don't get any notification then

a) I only know that I've been deleted if I happen to go look at that page of the thread again, which is by no means guaranteed.
and
b) I have no idea what I said, so can't even learn from the chastisement.

I'm pretty sure this could be handled better so posters could learn from feedback rather than blithely continue to give offense.

I’m the poster who said you should be ashamed, you definitely didn’t call him a CF. Obviously I can’t really write what you called him but it wasn’t a pleasant thing to call a child. You called him a ‘little ’ if that helps to jog your memory.

Thanks @Chicklitlover - I'm not into starting a discussion about choice of words, but I do appreciate you following up and letting me know what it was that you reported me for.

Because Mumsnet didn't, and I think that's a Site Stuff issue.

Ok, I replied because you said:

I thought it was something fairly innocuous about OP's kid

And I didn’t think it was innocuous.

I did think mumsnet emailed posters to tell them they had had a post deleted but maybe not always. I know I got an email once when I got deleted and I was able to respond to it and talk to someone about it.

Anyway, I’ll leave it there and let Mumsnet reply to you here.

Hi OP

If you ever want clarification of why a post has been removed, please do email us and we will do our best to help.

We don't disclose the reporters identity, but we can explain why the deletion happened.

We don't always mail - it's a case-by-case basis, and in this case, we didn't think it was required. A suspension follows a mail, so it really is for the best sometimes.

Thanks @LilyMumsnet.

I'm struggling to see the point of a deletion for failing to follow guidelines without an automatic notification of some sort though - like I say, if I hadn't happened to have popped back I wouldn't have known and couldn't moderate my language in future to suit the guidelines.

I wouldn't expect to be notified who reported it! That would obviously be terrible.

I also think its valid to have clearer indication of infraction, or theres little point in saying anything really.

Learn by your mistakes, is a great way to go on, but it's not possible of you are not alerted, and also, on fast moving threads you might never know!

This can be exploited by the less than genuine types trolls of the hairy hands where a few posters work together (or one with multiple accounts) to goad posters into a reaction and quickly moving on, risking a suspension.