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Original poster

Shocked at some MN responses

61 replies

Welshmum16 · 04/11/2018 08:06

I'll probably get shot down for this but I needed to say it,

I have only joined this site recently and have read a few threads now but I am shocked at how some users are treating others.

Some posts are just rude and not called for, surely if you have nothing constructive to say don't post a response.

I do think some posters need to read their post before pressing 'post'

You can still put you view across without being disrespectful, rude and abusive to the original poster.

OP posts:

PouchofDouglas · 04/11/2018 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/11/2018 08:08

Have you wondered over from Netmums by mistake?

TanteRose · 04/11/2018 08:12

Honestly, MN isn’t compulsory - just find another site that is better suited to your personality, there’s the whole Internet out there

HTH

NoSquirrels · 04/11/2018 08:13

What would you like MNHQ to do about it, though?

The site is moderated very well - no personal attacks are allowed. So do report anything you think is against the rules.

But it is a discussion site - people post knowing they’ll get a range of opinions and no one is obliged to be “nice”.

I’m pretty nice in general, but I don’t like the expectation that I have to be because it’s the only way.

If you read enough threads before you post - as you’ve done - you’ll realise it’s a straight-talking, somewhat sweary, opinionated place. Up to you then if you hang around or not...

FissionChips · 04/11/2018 08:16

Blah blah... .

redwineandcrisps · 04/11/2018 08:17

In the nicest possible way, if this site isn’t for you, why not just click away and move on? Why start a thread?! It obviously works for some people (I’ve been here 8 years now) if it’s not for you, no problems, just go somewhere that is without making a fuss!

CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 04/11/2018 08:19

It's what the site is famous for.

SuperstarDJ · 04/11/2018 08:19

OP - you’ll see from the above posts that an increasing number of MN posters just seem to love being arsey for the fun of it

Original poster

Welshmum16 · 04/11/2018 08:21

Perhaps it's just the threads I have been reading but I have seen some personal attacks to op when the replied does not the person and the roles have nothing to do with original post.

I like the site but am just shocked by some replies.

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 04/11/2018 08:22

OP - you’ll see from the above posts that an increasing number of MN posters just seem to love being arsey for the fun of it

See, I think those first couple of responses are very funny!

FermatsTheorem · 04/11/2018 08:22

Well you could do what I did in similar circs.

I joined an online writers' group. I'm a feminist. They turned out to want to write like Barbara Cartland. As you can imagine, this wasn't a good fit. Now I could have hung around and been outspokenly feminist - but in this particular context, a group set up by like minded individuals rather than an open political discussion group - that would have been trolling behaviour on my part. So I left and joined a group where I was a better fit.

I'd try Netmums or Baby center (latter is a kind of middle ground -less sparkly tickers than NM) if I were you.

Robust argument, politics and swearing allowed is kind of MN's USP. You aren't going to change that (and believe me you aren't the first to make this complaint - threads like this pop up with monotonous regularity).

tictac86 · 04/11/2018 08:22

Its worth putting up with the horrible obnoxious posts as there are some lovely ones and some lovely people.

SnuggyBuggy · 04/11/2018 08:23

To be fair you get some people who post for advice or opinion when what they really want is people to validate them. In this case any post that disagrees with them is 'nasty'

CosmicCanary · 04/11/2018 08:23

Some posts are just rude and not called for,

One persons rude is anothers honest opinion.
What would offend some will not offend all.

If you think a post is offensive or beliw the belt report it. Its much easier than asking the whole site to adhere to your idea of rude/not called for.

NoSquirrels · 04/11/2018 08:23

I have seen some personal attacks to op

Report button is there to use - it’s not pre-moderated so posters need to report personal attacks and MNHQ will take a look.

Gwlondon · 04/11/2018 08:24

It’s more nuanced sometimes. People apologise, people explain that they misunderstood. Some people just write in a particular way. Also you have no idea if a poster is who they claim to be.
In the recent past you would know the names of certain posters and look forward to their posts.

nameforthethread · 04/11/2018 08:25

Truly rude posters are usually called out on their behaviour on threads.

If you do stick around you will find a wealth of different posting stlyes, also support, kindness, understanding, aswell as straight talking, non Molly coddeling opinions.

BishBoshBashBop · 04/11/2018 08:25

Some posts are just rude and not called for, surely if you have nothing constructive to say don't post a response.

You aren't the thread police. As long as it is within MNHQ guidelines.

Quite osten rude and nasty = you don't agree with me.

3luckystars · 04/11/2018 08:26

My dad says, 'If you don't like the music, leave the band.'

Good luck.

Original poster

Welshmum16 · 04/11/2018 08:28

I have reported a couple and they have been deleted.

I am not saying all replies are nasty, everyone has their right to give their view and constructive feedback even if it the opposite to what the op views were,

What I am saying is why do some feel they need to personally attack the op and put a nasty comment on often not even to do with the op

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/11/2018 08:28

To be fair you get some people who post for advice or opinion when what they really want is people to validate them. In this case any post that disagrees with them is 'nasty.

Lots of people do seek validation and then get upset when they’re called out on their behaviour. It’s definitely not a Hugs Shug site. Very good at giving good advice though, often by women who are highly qualified in the field in question.

KristinaM · 04/11/2018 08:29

You are obviously new to the internet as well as to Mumsnet, if you are shocked by what is posted here.

Or you are under 10.

NoSquirrels · 04/11/2018 08:29

What I am saying is why do some feel they need to personally attack the op and put a nasty comment on often not even to do with the op

That’s a People On The Internet problem not a MN problem.

SavoyCabbage · 04/11/2018 08:30

Then these are not your people.

I just joined a nut/peanut anaphylaxis group in light of the recent epipen shortage and after about three days I realised that it was not for me. At all. So I left.

Gwlondon · 04/11/2018 08:31

Also sometimes threads have a flow of lots of unreasonable posts then the measured posts pages later.

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