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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

@ ing people

88 replies

Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 07:01

Hi mnhq I wonder if you could tell me what your view is on @‘ing people if you’ve been asked not to?

I have had it happen on a thread and it’s made me feel really quite annoyed. I asked the person to stop and not do it and they responded with a “you can’t tell people what to do”

I can appreciate that POV, but it seems contradictory to me given the rules around being polite and esoecially given the rules in FWR that have recently been implemented.

Could you please confirm what the official MNHQ stance is on this? Ie on continuing to @ someone after they have asked you yo stop?

Thanks

(I have disabled the emails but that doesn’t stop the person continuing to @ me which I really dislike. I can’t explain why I don’t like being @‘ed I just don’t. It feels aggressive and hectoring and bullying. I don’t expect anyone else feels the same but I do. )

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:14

I don’t know why it annoys me. It just does. I hate it on Facebook too.

OP posts:
NotUmbongoUnchained · 02/10/2018 10:15

If you’ve disabled the email alerts then it literally makes no difference if they @ you or bold you. You’re just being a dick about it.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:16

Am I though if I’ve asked them not to and they continue to do it anyway?

OP posts:
NotUmbongoUnchained · 02/10/2018 10:19

Yes of course you are. Sometimes things in life annoy you and you just have to deal with it. It’s a tiny little @ sign. I can’t stand people eating but I can’t ask people to stop doing it.

valentina01 · 02/10/2018 10:19

@Blackoutblinds this is crazy, just ignore it. You've already disabled email notifications. How is it reasonable to expect MNHQ to make a change to a useful and commonplace tool just because one user doesn't like it for a reason they can't even articulate?

InWomensProtection · 02/10/2018 10:19

Oh when did this become a bad thing to do as I remember it was bit hit when first came about.

misses point

KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 10:20

I suppose a prolific longterm poster could have trouble remembering who does/who doesn't want to be tagged/bolded/referred to in any way. They'd need to keep a list handy of everyone's preferences. Could get confusing?

Somerville · 02/10/2018 10:21

Right. Well it’s illogical for you to feel that way. Which is fine to a point - we’re all illogical sometimes. But I don’t think it’s the problem of the person you’re conversing with when you’re being illogical - it’s your own.

Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:22

Having read the thread, it's not really about the @ is it?

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 02/10/2018 10:23

Ooh look - a thread whining that MN isn't exactly how one or two people want it and want it changed so it is. Haven't had one of these for, what, 24 hours?

🙄

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:25

I’m just asking for hq opinion. I’m not whining. I’m asking esoecially in the light of the rules On FWR.

I’m happy to abide by whatever hq say.

OP posts:
Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:26

On the other thread you didn't complain about the other posters who @ you, just the one that you were having a disagreement with so it does seem like it's just a personal issue and I don't see why MNHQ should have to do anything.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:28

So what’s the difference between me asking not to be @ and that being ignored and the rules around fwr and preferred pronouns? Why is one delete worthy and bannable and this not?

OP posts:
Somerville · 02/10/2018 10:29

Right. So this is you feeling over sensitive after a random on the internet claimed it’s disgusting that you don’t wash your sheets as often as they do?

Have a cup of tea and shrug it off. Just words on a screen.

Cindersdonegood · 02/10/2018 10:30

I really can't figure out why it's a bad thing. So you don't like your NN having an @ in front of it? You aren't notified via email, your NN is spelled correctly and is in bold so you can easily see it if you are on the thread but it's bad because on certain devices an @ symbol is present??? (No @ sign is present when posting and viewing tagged usernames via iPhone)

Okay. Um..

Thighofrelief · 02/10/2018 10:30

I had no clue that is why people used @ i thought it was just a different version of bolding a name. Yes it's rude if you have asked someone not to. I saw the thread that annoyed you and thought you were being deliberately jabbed at. Does that person definitely know what happens with the @ function though? I didn't.

SpoonBlender · 02/10/2018 10:31

@roomba I think the OP is the rarer case - if you're replying directly to someone, particularly with info that'll help them, then atting would usually be welcomed.

Continuing to @ after someone's said don't on the other hand - don't do that, for sure.

DioneTheDiabolist · 02/10/2018 10:34

A poster once asked me never to bold her name because she's ridiculous. Of course I continue to bold her name when addressing her. It's a pretty standard thing on this site.

OP what's the difference between what you are asking and what the idiot poster asked me?

VioletCharlotte · 02/10/2018 10:37

I didn't even realise using @ meant the poster got an email. I don't when people @ me.

I use it when I'm answering someone's post. If I type @ and the first couple of letters, the posters name pops up and I select it. Much easier than switching bold in and trying to remember how to speak their user name.

If someone asked me to stop then I would. But I'd think they were kind of odd though!

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:41

Oh I know I’m odd because I don’t like it 😀 especially when someone is going at me and using it to be aggressive. And they definitely are when asked to stop.

But it’s up to hq. I do not understand the difference between asking someone not to use a particular pronoun and asking them not to @ me. And that’s what id like hq to clarify.

OP posts:
Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:43

How can you not see the difference? And what on earth does your spat about sheets have to do with FWR and transwomen?

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:46

I don’t understand how asking someone not to @ me is different to asking someone to use a correct pronoun.

That person was using @ me to be aggressive and nasty and have a go. What’s the difference? Why is it ok to do that? And not ok to get pronouns wrong? Or not ok to do a personal attack? That person was using @ as a personal go and me because they knew it upset me even after I’d asked them to stop.

I have Aspergers / ASD and I’m struggling to understand the difference of why one is allowed and the others are not.

OP posts:
PattiStanger · 02/10/2018 10:47

I don't think you can really complain about people using the features of any website.

Yes, it might be rude to ignore your request but ime you can't expect MN to be getting involved in disagreements between individual posters. It's the internet, there will always be people who annoy others

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:47

And it’s because I don’t understand that I’m asking hq to explain it.

OP posts:
PattiStanger · 02/10/2018 10:50

I'm not sure there's anything to explain, you can ask but you can't force anyone not to use a feature of the site that is there for everyone to use