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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

@ ing people

88 replies

Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 07:01

Hi mnhq I wonder if you could tell me what your view is on @‘ing people if you’ve been asked not to?

I have had it happen on a thread and it’s made me feel really quite annoyed. I asked the person to stop and not do it and they responded with a “you can’t tell people what to do”

I can appreciate that POV, but it seems contradictory to me given the rules around being polite and esoecially given the rules in FWR that have recently been implemented.

Could you please confirm what the official MNHQ stance is on this? Ie on continuing to @ someone after they have asked you yo stop?

Thanks

(I have disabled the emails but that doesn’t stop the person continuing to @ me which I really dislike. I can’t explain why I don’t like being @‘ed I just don’t. It feels aggressive and hectoring and bullying. I don’t expect anyone else feels the same but I do. )

OP posts:
EmpressAdultHumanFemale · 02/10/2018 07:18

I've disabled it too. It was getting annoying.

I wouldn't @ someone unless I wanted to call their attention to a thread - if they were there already I'd think bolding their name would be enough.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 02/10/2018 07:21

I think most people use a throwaway email address these days after the numerous security cock-ups. I couldn't tell you what my MN email address is, so may have eleventy billion notifications! You won't get people to stop doing it, as it's a MN site tool.

If someone "ats" me I just ignore them, same as I do when people bold my post back at me. It's quite satisfying. And probably annoys the shit out of them.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 07:22

I get all that. But my question is around if I specifically ask someone to stop doing it and they carry on. Despite being asked to stop.

OP posts:
Tahani · 02/10/2018 07:23

I @ if I want the poster posting to see my comments, I told so everyone can see it

There are good things and bad things about mn, I like the @, so why should I lose it

Tahani · 02/10/2018 07:24

Can you block them?
Or just set the @ alert email to spam?

dudsville · 02/10/2018 07:25

What does it mean to @ someone?

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 07:26

I have disabled the alerts.

Tahani I understand that’s what you want to do, but would you continue to do it if I said please don’t do that I don’t like it?

Because that’s the point I’m making. It Feels to me incredibly rude to keep @‘ing someone who has asked you not to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 07:27

It tags them in the thread.

So if I go @blackoutblinds it bold my name and unless you disable it you get an email alert t9 tell you that you’ve been mentioned in a thread.

I really dislike it. I hate even seeing my name with an @ before it. No idea why. I just really do not like it.

OP posts:
JellySlice · 02/10/2018 07:27

I suspect lots of @s are essentially lazy. It's easier to use @ when you want to reply directly to a PP, as a list of posters' names comes up, so you don't have to remember the name, type it, then bold it.

I would like MN to enable a similar system to @ where you can choose the PP's name and it auto-bolds without notifying them.

JellySlice · 02/10/2018 07:29

I apologised if I have accidentally @ed someone in my previous post!

hugoagogo · 02/10/2018 07:29

Yes, absolutely if you ask someone nicely to stop doing it then they continue I would be reporting the posts.
I am sure MN never intended it to be used to annoy or harass people.

GerdaLovesLili · 02/10/2018 09:32

Disable it. Simples :-D

Gersemi · 02/10/2018 09:39

Just ignore it. I disabled it as soon as this facility came in. If people tag me in a friendly way, it's fine if pointless; if people are not being friendly, it vaguely amuses me that they're wasting their time.

KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 09:43

It doesn't bother me/I don't notice it.

It is very common to use @ on other sites. It's not an MN thing. I don't find it rude at all.

Agree with disable/throwaway email address though if you want.

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 09:55

I have it disabled. That’s not my point.

My point is that I find it rude - I personally do, I know not everyone does - and I wanted to hear from mnhq what their view was on someone who continues to do it after being asked to stop.

OP posts:
KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 09:58

Ah, I see!

It will be interesting to see mnhq's reply.

I suspect there is nothing they can do, if it's not breaking any posting rules.

Yourenotericlove · 02/10/2018 10:02

Isn't it a bit like asking someone not to post on a thread or not refer to your NN? I.e no, I don't think MNHQ should be expected to get involved.

JaneJeffer · 02/10/2018 10:03

I know what you mean. I just bold someone's name if I'm replying to a specific person. The @ thing annoys me but I don't know why it does maybe because it's mostly used in an aggressive "you listen to me" way? I disabled the emails when it started happening.

Someone continuing to do it when you asked them not to is definitely aggressive behaviour.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 02/10/2018 10:05

I feel like this about tagging on Facebook too.
It's intrusive and disrespectful when you've been asked not to.

Roomba · 02/10/2018 10:07

Oh god, I had no idea I was annoying people doing this! I even make a special effort to do it as I saw others using it so assumed it was the correct way to respond to someone!

I very often post on threads then don't go back to them for ages. So if someone responds to what I've said I may not see it if they don't '@' me.

I'll stop doing it now sorry.

KathDayKnight50 · 02/10/2018 10:08

I've been giving and receiving @s in a fun thread where we were joking with each other!

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:12

The thing is. If the person hasn’t asked you not to, I don’t have an issue. It’s only if you’re asked to stop. I don’t m8 d being bonded, weirdly, I just hate being @‘ed. I don’t know why it just seems aggressive to me.

I know it doesn’t to others but it does to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:12

*Mind being bolded

OP posts:
Somerville · 02/10/2018 10:13

I think it could be interpreted as goady for someone to continue to tag a poster who has specifically asked them not to. So on that basis it would be worth reporting it and MNHQ might delete their comment or email them a warning to stop it.

I’m intrigued, though, that it bothers you so much to be tagged, even now you’ve turned off notifications. Surely then it’s just random words they’re typing; it doesn’t affect you at all? Do you feel the same if someone just bolds your name (without commercial at), when referring to you in a thread? What about when someone is just talking about their new black out blinds and it’s not even referring to you?! Or if there was a poster with a very similar username being talked about?

Original poster
Blackoutblinds · 02/10/2018 10:14

To reiterate. I don’t have an issue with someone saying

blackoutblinds blah blah

Or even

blackoutblinds blah blah

It’s nit at all to stop them posting on the thread altogether.

I just hate hate hate

@blackoutblinds

OP posts: