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trolls, attention seekers and other wierdos.

257 replies

whatwouldjesusdo · 11/01/2007 09:45

I thought it might be useful to have a reference thread on this subject. It isn't aimed at any particular person or thread, and would be good to keep it as a general reference for people who are new to the site, ie not discuss particular threads here.

TROLLS are typically new posters, previously unseen on mn,
They may have weird sexual problems, which they try to suck people into discussing. In MN folklore, they are hairy arsed truckdrivers or schoolboys, and they may invite posts like "trippety trap" or "go and do your homework"
Alternatively, they may post something inflamatory, eg insulting another poster, to start a fight.

ATTENTION SEEKERS may run a mumsnet persona over several months, and may be mothers, so look much more genuine. However, there are genuine mothers who also suffer from attention seeking disorders.
Look out for some or all of the following:

  • an unusual story
  • a poster whose only help comes apparently from mumsnet
  • a poster who has apparently convincing reasons for not seeking help from the authorities
  • a poster who makes people feel sorry for them all the time, and thanks them for their sympathy with pathetic gratitude
  • an extreme story, such as suicide or the poster saying that they are about to abandon their children
  • generally, a poster who appears to live in the middle of a dramatic situation, and who posts at key dramatic moments.



CON ARTISTS will run a convincing story, and, having got your sympathy, will try and get you to do things for them. Eg, they put themselves apparently into situations where you can help them, and then wait for you to offer your help. They are hard to spot online, and you have to make up your own mind about what sort of risk you are prepared to take about corresponding with other posters.

This is emphatically not intended as a discussion of whether we are gullible or not, but if anyone's sympathies are particularly aroused by any thread, please do come back here now or in the future and have another read.
and of course, please add your own recommendations on spotting threads that dont add up.
OP posts:
Califrau · 12/01/2007 01:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 12/01/2007 01:33

toffee?

Califrau · 12/01/2007 01:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quootiepie · 12/01/2007 01:51

ATTENTION SEEKERS may run a mumsnet persona over several months, and may be mothers, so look much more genuine. However, there are genuine mothers who also suffer from attention seeking disorders.
Look out for some or all of the following:

  • an unusual story
  • a poster whose only help comes apparently from mumsnet
  • a poster who has apparently convincing reasons for not seeking help from the authorities
  • a poster who makes people feel sorry for them all the time, and thanks them for their sympathy with pathetic gratitude
  • an extreme story, such as suicide or the poster saying that they are about to abandon their children
  • generally, a poster who appears to live in the middle of a dramatic situation, and who posts at key dramatic moments.





THAT HAS REALLY PISSED ME OFF

my suicide attempt came from depression which stems from PTSD. I don't moan when people drone on about bloody piles, so I DO NOT expect people with mental health issues to be treated as "attention seekers".
sandcastles · 12/01/2007 01:53

Quootie, please don't let it upset you. It's not worth it!

Quootiepie · 12/01/2007 01:54

I have a good mind to search through all your posts and asses the level of attention you require over various issues.

Quootiepie · 12/01/2007 02:17

Whatwouldjesusdo - I suggest changing your posting name. It has a sick irony about it.

whatwouldjesusdo · 12/01/2007 03:11

sorry that you feel personally got at, QP. I am sure that you will agree, that there is a difference between someone suffering from depression who makes a suicide bid, and someone who dramatically plays out a suicide bid online, or send emails to people they have contacted over the internet, saying they are about to commit suicide.
All I am saying is, if you encounter the latter, please step back and ask yourself, am I being had?

OP posts:
whatwouldjesusdo · 12/01/2007 03:12

an attention seeking disorder is a mental health issue, by the way.

OP posts:
nappyaddict · 12/01/2007 03:46

i don't get the irony? sorry qp

mellowma · 12/01/2007 07:57

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giddy1 · 12/01/2007 08:05

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mellowma · 12/01/2007 08:10

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MamazonAKAfatty · 12/01/2007 08:14

I have a rather dramatic sounding story, I was also called a troll when i first joined MN.

At the end of the day if someone is in a tricky situation that they feel they cannot find help via "normal" means they will spend hours searching the net trying to find some nugget of great advice, so in that respect i can fully understand posters who post on MN (particularly after all our recent publicity) about something in their life as their first post.

ALl this TROLL schouting will soon make MN a place where youhave to pass a memntal health test prior to your first post.

I agree that there are some posters who have duped people for a long time and have left a rather bad taste in people's mouths but the vast majority are harmless and all that it costs is a few moments of typed advice that, if they don't help that person will almost certainly be of help to someone else in that situation too afraid to post about it.

KezzaG · 12/01/2007 08:14

I have deliberated over whether to post this, but seeing as WWJD is still getting a negative response to her post I have decided to go ahead.

Since my lst post yesterday where I defended dottymum I have spoken to some of those involved in the fox issue and it is the same person.

I have been conducting one "relationship" with dottymum under a completely different set of circumstances to the one being played out by fox or whatever she is now.

I know her as a different name with a slightly changed history, but everything else is the same - dc's names, dh's name, surname, country of dh etc. It is definately the same person.

I am not sure what is true and what isnt, but she has categorically told me that there is no dv happening, she is leaving her husband amicably, she asked me to helop with arrangements etc. I held her baby while she made flight arragements and I helped her pack her cases. She was totally plausible and I was well and truely had. Loads of other stuff about where she lived, how long she had been out of the marital home etc etc were different to the other story she told.

I can see now that WWJD was trying to warn everyone that this was a drama being played out by someone who has an attention seeking disorder, and although this deserves help in its own right, it is not the life or death situation we were all led to believe.

I do not want to be cryptic anymore as there isnt a need to be, and by giving veiled warnings it has just upset those who are genuine.

Dotty/MR/fox/katy whoever you are, I know you are back in the UK and I really hope you get help from your family. I feel proud of myself that I helped what I thought was a genuine person, and would do it again.

I am not even going to reread this or I will change my mind and not post. I just wanted to day do not judge WWJD on this, and if you do offer help or shelter to this person please bear in mind she has made up many stories and they are not true.

I guess I will find out soon enough if posting this has been a good idea or not.

schneebly · 12/01/2007 08:15

I posted on here a year or so ago under a pseudoname with a VERY unusual but hideously upsetting situation - I had no-one else to turn to. I was accused of being a troll and it was very upsetting but there were some posters who offered a sympathetic ear. I wish I had been trolling and that it hadnt really happened.

jabberwocky · 12/01/2007 08:17

mellowma, can you forward the update to me?

jabberwocky dot 2006 at hotmail dot com

thanks!

mellowma · 12/01/2007 08:20

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mellowma · 12/01/2007 08:20

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flutterbee · 12/01/2007 08:21

Can you all please stop getting at Jesus.

She has spent time, money and lots and lots of emotion on a situation that you know nothing about.

A situation that had people planning to break certain laws to help someone in a desperate situation.

A situation that had several MNers contacting the British Embassy (sorry I can't even spell it) the passport office, the police etc etc Not to mention the tears that were shed when e-mails/posts came through describing mortal danger, rape of said poster and the possible abandonment of tiny children.

WWJD is a very very genuine and lovely poster who I have spoken to personally, I am not suprised that she has posted this.

You have my number Jesus ring me if you want, sorry if I have spoken out of turn I just will not sit by and let people jump on you for NO reason.

KezzaG · 12/01/2007 08:22

There is no other update. This owman has serious issues. Yes she was not with her dh when I met her, but that is the only similarity.

I was going to pick her up from the airport, offered her a place to stay while she got her refuge place sorted as she had no money, and now she is back in the UK under her own steam and I have not heard from her.

I dont understand why she posted as someone else knowing I might see it, while at the same time getting help from me and spinning me other stories.

Someone else has managed to contact her family and I hope they can help her.

noddyholder · 12/01/2007 08:23

Bloody ridiculous and ott.Why can't we make our own minds up without this policing of the site .We are all gullible at times that is how we learn Chill!

mellowma · 12/01/2007 08:24

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flutterbee · 12/01/2007 08:27

Not aimed at you mellowma

mellowma · 12/01/2007 08:30

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