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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Adult Adoptees - Dedicated Section Under Talk Topics

81 replies

Humsta · 15/04/2016 15:27

Would anyone be interested in a dedicated Adult Adoptees Section under the talk topics? Being one myself I haven't been very successful in finding support online, except for posting in mumsnet. This did provoke interest from people in a similar position to me as well as adopters / potential adopters who are interested in our experiences.

I'm happy to go into details about my past but think at this stage mumsnet wants to gauge how much use it would actually get. There must be a lot of us adult adoptees on this planet, however, I know very few people in day-to-day life who share experiences similar to me and it can really help to share..so what do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
Humsta · 24/04/2016 17:14

I would 100% recommend the Primal Wound (I borrowed it from the library), it's just opinion but I think as someone married to an adoptee you'd find it quite insightful. My DH is currently reading it and hasn't found anything he sees as questionable - I'd love to hear your opinion on it if you do.

OP posts:
jellyfishschool · 25/04/2016 20:06

Dear MNHQ, just wondering if there is any update?

Every time I have posted on AIBU or chat or bumped (about 4 or 5 times I think, without checking) new people have posted on here saying they are interested and I do feel there would be more once word got around, it is just that the post only stays in Active or the first page of AIBU for moments...

Something else has come up in a private email - like many others I was in care briefly and then fostered and then adopted, but some MNers who have posted about experiences have been in care/fostered but not adopted. There are differences (such as a new birth certificate) but also common ground.

Original poster
Humsta · 25/04/2016 20:27

Hey! How are you? I was just going to do a bump to keep this alive - glad to see you are too Smile

OP posts:
jellyfishschool · 26/04/2016 10:38

Really busy, hectic term with dc's extracurricular madness. I am impressed to read that your dh is reading a book on it the subject - my dh is supportive but that doesn't extend to reading books! Themorus, impressed for the same reason!

Original poster
Humsta · 26/04/2016 22:13

bump

OP posts:
OVienna · 27/04/2016 23:37

Yes

Original poster
Humsta · 29/04/2016 21:56

Mumsnet have you come to any conclusions on this thread?

OP posts:
jellyfishschool · 08/05/2016 15:07

mnhq, it would be really great to have this section, is it possible? thank you very much!

NewLife4Me · 08/05/2016 15:13

I think it would be very good, for those born both pre and post 1975 when laws changed.
Sometimes you want to post things and they wouldn't seem applicable to anybody else or just a small minority and the thread would consist of a few posts only.

Even if it isn't used very often it would be a place to go to to talk with people who understand.
I would be very interested too as much has changed in adoption in recent years and many issues that would be applicable to those who are 50 wouldn't be the same as those who are children now.

Please MNHQ let us have a separate thread. Thanks

NewLife4Me · 08/05/2016 17:58

Bump, because I found this when bumped Grin

FruStefanOla · 08/05/2016 18:34

I am happy to bump this thread. I was born - and adopted - many years before 1975.

Original poster
Humsta · 09/05/2016 21:27

Bump time

OP posts:
aLeafFalls · 09/05/2016 21:42

I would be very interested in an adult adoptee board.

NewLife4Me · 10/05/2016 14:55

Did we as a nation ever get an apology from the government, like they did in Australia?
I have often wondered this.
I did some basic research during my degree and had some stats of how many babies were adopted during the 1960's and can't find them, despite lots of searches. i'm gutted as the 16,000 that is quoted for just 1969 was way below what I thought i'd seen.

MNHQ there are thousands if not millions of us out here, some of us would love to be able to chat and share experiences on here.
We may only be a minority of members but I'm sure it would grow as people google all the time and find Mnet threads.

Original poster
Humsta · 10/05/2016 15:30

Thanks newlife4me.

Mumsnet are you planning on making a decision on this thread?**

It's been a while since I first posted and I certainly believe there's a justifiable level of interest.

OP posts:
NewLife4Me · 10/05/2016 23:12

Bump. for the owls.

ididntsignupforthis1 · 11/05/2016 06:22

I too would like to know?

MNHQ
BeccaMumsnet · 12/05/2016 11:47

Hi all - thank you for all your posts here and we apologise for the delay in getting back to you all. We're currently in the midst of a topic reshuffle and so we won't be introducing any new topics for a little while. However, once this is done, we'll revisit the situation.

Thank you for the suggestion Humsta

jellyfishschool · 12/05/2016 12:17

That is a huge disappointment, Becca.

However, it might be that we can start a new thread in Relationships or somewhere along the lines of the stately homes thread.

Original poster
Humsta · 12/05/2016 12:35

I agree it's disappointing but let's start the new thread where you're suggesting Jellyfishschool and go from there.

I think we've had enough interested people who will benefit from it - we started with nothing so we don't have less Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Humsta · 12/05/2016 12:38

My only other idea is a Facebook group...

OP posts:
Lagodiatitlan · 12/05/2016 13:22

@NewLife: I remember reading in the 1990s that there were 250,000 children adopted in England and Wales in the postwar period - these were stranger adoptions, not step parent/family member adoptions. Not sure how accurate that is. But there were a lot! And that does not include other parts of the British Isles and all the US/Can adoptees on this site.

On the apology, not sure that it would make much difference to me, but I realise others would think differently. One thing that interests me is citizenship. Both my birth parents were Irish citizens which made me Irish by descent when I was born in UK. Apparently I lost that citizenship when I was adopted - although I cannot anything in Irish law that says that is the case. It is just that the person I was ceased to exist. Quite extraordinary really, you can't remove citizenship from murderers or terrorists, but you can from an adoptee. Wonder if any others on this board have any experience of this.

Irish passport might be very useful if the Brexiters win!

NewLife4Me · 12/05/2016 16:57

Thanks Lago.

I'm not sure the apology would mean much to adopted people, unless they hah been unfortunate to go to a bad home. I'm sure the bms would appreciate it though Sad

Do we have a new thread that anyone can link to yet?
Or are we still discussing titles.

NewLife4Me · 12/05/2016 17:00

Just a suggestion but why not body and soul rather than relationships?
Can I also suggest an obvious title.
Stately homes is fine for that subject as unfortunately so many are affected and pointed towards the thread.
I think adoptees may be a smaller amount and need an obvious title.

ClassicCoast · 12/05/2016 17:13

I think a separate area is a good idea. The current adoption board is welcoming but for adoptees who may well have had a lifetime of repressing certain comments or questions for fear of hurting their family it's ironic if they have to do the same on a board.

Am from USA but my adoption is pretty similar to most uk ones. Left birth mother at birth and stayed in hospital for a few months then went to adopted parents. Y