Request for sticky on Pregnancy board

[goodnightdarthvader1]

There have been a few threads popping up for the last few weeks mentioning this issue, so thought I'd ask MNHQ about it.

On the Pregnancy board there has been a higher-than-average influx of "Am I Pregnant?" threads. We can't tell posters if they're pregnant or not - only a test can do that - and symptom-spotting is a sketchy science at best.

Even if it is politely pointed out to posters that we can't tell them, only a test can, they get stroppy and threaten to flounce off to The Site That Cannot Be Named as they are more supportive over there. (I will admit, the politeness level is diminishing as the board is getting inundated with these threads of late.)

A lot of posters (myself included) feel the board is mostly for posters who are confirmed pregnant to discuss symptoms, emotions, baby planning, etc. A redirection suggestion to the Conception board also usually results in an angry comeback. All in all it's putting a bit of a sour taste on the board.

My suggestion is a sticky at the top of the Pregnancy board, eg "If you think you're pregnant, read this" or something along those lines, directing them to Conception. It's my hope that this may reduce some of the posts we get along this line.

And if other posters would like to chip in and tell me I can't control where other people post, I need to get over it, I have no life, why am I worrying about this, yadda yadda, please save your breath. I'm on mat leave, I have a lot of time on my hands, but rest assured all my chores are done in between posting on MN, so don't you worry yourselves

You cannot tell people what to post where.

Sorry, did some weird auto-correct amend the word "suggestion" in my post to "order" or "directive"?

Nope. Hmm.

Problem is "StillStayingClassy" that people sometimes click on threads when they appear on "trending" or "active conversations" i.e. They don't choose the topic they want to read. It's easy to see how someone unkind might click on one of those OPs if the thread title ops up on the home page, just to tell the OP she is a fool. By having the topic we'd basically be encouraging people to post the question and putting them at risk of ridicule.

Ultimately no-one on MN can tell someone if they're pregnant or not regardless of whether they post in conception or pregnancy or aibu or chat. However there is no rule about such things and talk of possible pregnancy is just as relevant on the pregnancy board as anywhere else, those who are getting quite so worked up about it as to have started two threads on it this morning alone perhaps ought to stop being so bloody precious.

Really, if you don't like the subject heading then don't open the thread, it's really not that hard, and pregnancy really isn't inundated with "am I pregnant threads." It is however inundated with obnoxious posters creating a storm in a teacup. If you don't post on the "am I pregnant" threads then they won't get bumped up the boards. How hard can that be to understand?

as to have started two threads on it this morning alone perhaps ought to stop being so bloody precious.

Welp, there's me ... and ShowYourSeams. That's two separate people starting threads. But by all means, carry on.

Since I got passive-aggressively called "hun" earlier, I think another poster confused me with ShowYourSeams as well. Easy to do, what with our usernames being so darn similar and all.

Reading comprehension.

Darth, although I disagree with the way you obviously only open these threads to send the OPs to another board, from the posts of yours I read I did not actually think you were unkind to the OPs the extent that you'd follow them to other boards and abuse them, no. Others were much worse, particularly the one who went to the bother of creating her own parody "am I pregnant" thread.

Please don't waste time accusing me of insults that I did not deliver.

Can't people just use the 'Hide Thread' option?

Please don't waste time accusing me of insults that I did not deliver.

Genuine apologies, but in the course of this discussion I've received a lot of personal attacks and PA digs, and people seem to be holding me up as the poster child for this line of thinking, even though I'm not the only person on this board expressing these opinions, so it's hard to tell if posters are 'having a go' or not. I appreciate that you don't seem to be sharpening your pitchforks and I've enjoyed your input into the discussion.

It's definitely a bit thread police, isn't it though?

Darth.

BishopBrennan to be fair, this thread is in Site Stuff so it's not Darth being thread Police, it's her asking the actual Thread Police aka MNHQ whether they agree with her suggestion. Seems sensible to me.

But the fact is that there was already one thread on this topic this morning. Regardless of who started it, the fact that there is one means there doesn't need to be another. Surely.

It really isn't that big a deal. In fact it isn't a deal at all. The only place it would be inappropriate to post "am I pregnant" would be on the mc or choices topics, but pregnancy covers all aspects of pregnancy.

In fact I would say that those getting riled at the posts at all are far more stupid than those posting. Because you don't have to read them you know, and if seeing a thread title is so annoying then it's probably time to step away from the Internet anyway.

In fact I would say that those getting riled at the posts at all are far more stupid than those posting. Because you don't have to read them you know, and if seeing a thread title is so annoying then it's probably time to step away from the Internet anyway.

I think wannabe has it.

I'm genuinely struggling to see how it's so annoying if there's only about 1 thread a day asking 'am I pregnant?'

I do see how you might see the thread and give a sigh and think the thread would be better posted in Conception, but it seems an over reaction to get properly annoyed about it.

I read the latest one in Pregnancy and some people were certainly unwelcoming to the OP. She did turn out to be unpleasant but that wasn't known before she was being told to go post elsewhere.

I'm not in favour of another forum as there's too many as it is.

But the fact is that there was already one thread on this topic this morning. Regardless of who started it, the fact that there is one means there doesn't need to be another. Surely.

Except this one is asking MNHQ's opinion. The other one was a general useless moan about it (which, don't get me wrong, I contributed to happily). I decided to be proactive and tackle the issue head on (as there had been several threads about it in the last few weeks, started by and contributed to by various posters who all felt the same), and got a load of abuse for it.

I'm out, don't care about the outcome either way any more.

Hi DarthVader and others. There are some interesting ideas here and if it seems there would be enough call for them, we do introduce new topics from time to time. We try not to do it too much or no one can see the woods for the trees but it's definitely worth throwing out to everyone to see what they think.

We are reading this thread and will have a discussion about it. So please do all post your thoughts here on what you think would be useful - new topic, a sticky, or best left.

For what it's worth we're imagining there's a bit of a post-Christmas flurry of 'Am I pregnant or is that still the effects of all those Chocolate Oranges' type threads, what with it being three weeks on, so it's likely the volume of threads on the subject you're seeing at the moment will decrease a bit.

In response to Iona's post I don't think there should be another topic. People will still post their question in pregnancy and some people will get stroppy that it's in the wrong place. I think pregnancy is the right topic for people to post about a possible pregnancy. Just my opinion of course.

I think a sticky would be helpful. What's the point of having the separate boards of pregnancy and conception if you aren't going to encourage people to post in the right place?

I think a sticky would be most helpful.

Iona, having read some of the thoughts on here and contemplated over some cake I think a sticky might be a happy middle ground.

The "volume" of threads being er, 2 in the 4 pages of threads I looked at today.

Truly overwhelming.

I think that it should be accepted that both Pregnancy and Conception are appropriate places to post about possible pregnancy, but that there is a sticky on both boards reminding people that MN can't tell if you are pregnant so please POAS first. Also people just need to retry or ignore obvious trolls. I said it more eloquently up thread.

Retry=report

And why would you post on a board for people who are not yet pregnant when you want to hear the experiences of pregnant women?

This exactly.

I really think that certain posters need to stop getting so irrationally annoyed about this.
It's literally half a dozen threads spread out over a couple of weeks. And behind every thread is - a woman who wants to talk to other women about something they may have experienced.

THATS ALL.

And who are you to follow the threads around, patronisingly putting each of these women down? It's unkind.

They post in pregnancy as they most likely want to talk to pregnant women. Does it really matter to you? If you don't like it - don't comment. Or report.
But don't click the thread just to go ', this is for PREGNANT women, not YOU, go away' etc repeatedly.

It doesn't hurt you. It's not offensive. It's not like people are posting 'my kids are really pissing me off' on an IVF thread.

It's just women at an emotional time of life (when you can't often talk to people in real life) who want someone to talk to.

SO WHY CANT WE ALL JUST BE KIND AND TOLERANT?

OP- passive aggressive all the way.

Here's the thing, thankyou Sock Balls for saying it better than I could but I'm going to throw my tuppenceworth in anyway, because this has got my back up.

The pregnancy threads in all their forms were one of the only sources of information I had when I got pregnant- both the Am I? threads and those who took the time to post their own experiences and to respond to others posting on the site. They were also an introduction to Mumsnet and I spent a bit of time lurking prior to posting anything to get a feel for his things work around here. Maybe some other people don't for various reasons.

I'm no longer pregnant, because I had a miscarriage two weeks ago, but don't sodding relegate me to some far off part of the site because I'm no longer in that particular club. I was, am and continue to be a mother and don't any of you try and tell me otherwise.

FFS, it's actually sad in many ways that the miscarriage threads are hidden away in Body and Soul. Every woman that's in 'The Club Nobody Wants To Belong To' had to BE PREGNANT in order to find themselves ending up there. Does this mean we have two groups of mothers split into achievers and non-achievers?

Pregnancy is something that actually doesn't happen all that often or for very long in the course of a woman's life. The Am I? stage is exciting and special, particularly for first timers and the whole process, regardless of how it ends is shrouded in mystery and misinformation. Better all the information in one place than splattered all over Mumsnet for fear of posting in the wrong place surely?

If this was RL and you tried to segregate women this way folk wouldn't stand for it. Why should an online COMMUNITY be any different? Keep the categories by all means, but why in hell's name start a ruddy thread because you're irritated about a question you probably asked yourself in the first place?

Rant over.

Snarkle I'm so sorry for your loss