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Original poster

The relationship board going downhill

5 replies

Sallystyle · 09/02/2015 22:19

I was shocked by a certain thread which I read yesterday where the OP was treated like shit and instead of getting support she got a good kicking instead. Of course some posters gave amazing advice and were understanding but far too many posters were simply arseholes.

I am pretty sure this has been brought to your attention before MNHQ. It often resembles AIBU and I know I am not the only one who is now put off by the thought of asking for support over there.

Sure, some posts are deleted but the damage is already done by then isn't it? People should be able to trust that they can post on the relationship board and not get treated in the same way they would on AIBU.

So my question is why is this allowed to go on? As a rule I hate heavy moderation but when posters are no longer comfortable seeking advice isn't it time to look at other ways of getting rid of the AIBU vibe that is seeping through over there?

There are some fantastic posters on that board who are smart and compassionate and it is such a shame to see the increasing nastiness going on.

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MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 10/02/2015 16:25

@AuntieStella

Good on you. MNHQ always say they love reports.

(I suspect that they like spending time reading threads, rather than doing real work)

Shock How very dare you! Please please please please please please please please (you get the picture)

please do report things -
Honestly don't feel like a tattle tale -we absolutely do not view it like that.

We would ALWAYS rather hear from someone over and over than not hear anything at all - one hideous thread recently full of PAs and other things that just are not MN (not on r'ships but that's not the point) ran for over 500 posts without a single report!

In terms of whether the R'ships boards is going downhill - we haven't noticed a particular uplift in complaints over there but we would remind ANYONE coming to MN that our philosophy is to makes folk lives easier - yes sometimes the OP will want to hear the wisdom of strangers, and indeed those who've been there and sometime they will ask for what they need to hear not what they want to hear but a kind word with this never goes astray ioho

HTH and do please report anything that you think we need to see (or mail us contactus at mumsnet dot com)
We read every single mail that comes in
Thanks ever so

MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 10/02/2015 17:32

@SauvignonBlanche

It's an MNHQ facility 00100001, it's not for the likes of mere mortals. Wink

LOL
We're pretty mere mortals, we assure you Grin

MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 10/02/2015 23:36

@U2TheEdge

. I appreciate that unless they get reports they may not notice what is going on so maybe we should report posts that we think are below the belt but don't actually break the guidelines?

We would absolutely encourage that - whether on r'ships or otherwise.
Please please please report stuff that you're not happy with and we can take a closer look, and remind people of the guidelines either on board or "ave a word" behind the scenes.
This has happened in other topics which have emotive content (and r;ships are by nature an emotive and oftentimes divisive topic) and those boards do seem to have turned a corner in terms of becoming more supportive
HTH
and thanks again

MNHQ

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet · 10/02/2015 23:44

@ouryve

At least I do know that it is OK to report these ones. Because I sometimes feel like I've exceeded my reporting quota for the day by the time I've finished my morning cuppa.

It's Ok to report ANYTHING. Honestly truly we love reports.
There is no quota - we promise.

8 totally legit reasons you could report a post to MNHQ off the top of my head.

1 Personal attack
2 Breaches our utterly reasonable guidelines
3 You think the op is a goady fucker™ (i.e. has come to MN purely to inflame)
4 Potential thread for MN Classics
5 Hilarious/useful thread in chat and may get lost by auto delete after 90 day function
6 We are talking about x celebrity/public figure - can we get him/her on for a web chat?
7 ROFL have you seen this hilarious cat video we're all talking about?
8 this person is being a bit harsh - can you have a word?

Can I say again - we LOVE reports. They are confidential - there is no quota and it takes about 4 key strokes to do it. Approx 5 seconds.

If in doubt, give HQ a shout.
Thanks as always

MNHQ

KateSMumsnet · 12/02/2015 11:07

Thanks for all your posts - we've had a good read. Generally from what we've seen Relationships is a good and supportive board, but we agree that it's not ideal if OPs are being chased off threads or being attacked nastily for not instantly taking advice - if that is indeed happening. Could we ask you please to report (like the wise Olivia has said, we truly do love them) any threads that you think fit this description to us so that we can take a look and have a think about whether anything needs to be done.

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