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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

this no special needs in active convos business

49 replies

Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 14:29

it's all getting swallowed up in the thread about secret areas

but basically mn has decided to take special needs out of active convos and have a special 'with special needs' button

I don't agree with this - I know they are trying to do the best for everyone but I object to people being able to 'edit out' special needs when they are looking at active convos. I don't want people to be able to edit out my experience of parenting or my daughter in rl and I object to it here

I feel it pigeonholes; additionally I remember when I first found out that dd was sn I knew no-one and had come across nothing about cerebral palsy or sn; if I had seen the odd thread while scrolling through mn it would have felt somehow more normal, something that I was not alone in. I wouldn't want newbies in this situation to start suddenly having to seek out a new button

I just don't like it and I know there are others who share this view from the other thread

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 19/10/2006 14:37

Oh dear. You can please some of the people some of the time etc...

I don't see how this can be resolved! Taking it out of active convos was a 'lesser option' that the majority agreed with I believe.

Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 14:50

quite a few people agreed with me that it wasn't what they wanted

and I don't actually think it is a 'lesser option'; it's not a password, sure, but it has the effect of hiding special needs away

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 19/10/2006 14:53

Yes but how can MN please everyone? People feel unable to post because of their bad experiences.. Isn't that reason enough to do something?

I just don't know. Am retiring from the subject. I'm sure MNHQ only wanted to help but when SN mums start warring amongst themsevles about something designed to help them it all becomes a bit ridiculous.

FioFio · 19/10/2006 15:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 15:02

I am not warring; I just feel I have a right to have my experiences as a parent sharing equal status and accessibility as others

I actually don't disagree with a passworded area for specific posts as long as there is a general open board.

OP posts:
MamaGhoul · 19/10/2006 15:05

Cappuccino I agree with you - I don't like the idea of the SN area being "sectioned off". Horrible.

MamaGhoul · 19/10/2006 15:09

...although if wanted by enough people, a password protected area for people to CHOOSE to post in sounds ok.

I just hate the idea of the SN board being hidden away like its something to be ashamed of.

Sorry if I'm speaking out of turn.

MamaGhoul · 19/10/2006 15:10

erm that would be "password protected area as well as the main board..."

Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 15:44

ah well mama at least we agree with each other

OP posts:
TheDaVinciCod · 19/10/2006 15:46

ive just bvumped a thread on special needs that no one has answered
so its odd you cna alert poeple to ones that the may be able to help on

PrettyCandles · 19/10/2006 15:54

I've missed the background to this, but responding purely to th OP, I think it is wrong to take SN out of the mainstream threads. I do not have a child with SN, but if I see something I can help with, or feel the urge to respond to an SN thread, then I do so. Why shouldn't I? SN are part of the community - separating SN marginalises the parents and the children. And, besides, we all have so much to share and tolearn from each other, that this action causes everyone to lose.

Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 15:56

been to your thread cod

hadn't seen it before cos it's not in active convos

OP posts:
aaronsbefuddledmummy · 19/10/2006 16:00

I have child with sn and I don;t want sn to be taken out of active convos either. I feel enough of an outsider in rl because of this anyway iyswim. Hopefully all the animosity will die a death soon.

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 19/10/2006 17:12

PrettyCandles I can see why you are thinking this without reading the threads.. but you need to read the threads to realise why it has been suggested. See you in a week or two, lol

And to those who say they don't want to be marginalised any more than you feel you already are, sorry but (with respect, again! think I've said that 3 times today..) I think you are missing the point. I hate segregation/marginalisation/disability being hidden away when in fact 1 in 7 people is disabled... but this is not about 'poking us into a corner out of the way so as not to offend the majority'.. it's about us having a place to go if we choose and only if we choose, or if we find we have something particularly sensitive to discuss.

And the active convos, as has actually been made quite clear, was a sort of compromise as everyone was up in arms about the above idea.

You CANNOT please all of the people all the time. And frankly, as far as the negative opinions on this, of the parents of NT kids, go.. bugger em! You should think yourselves lucky that all you have to worry about in the area of special needs, is whether or not to condone a separate meeting place for us to discuss the real crappy issues that you don't have, on or off the main board! Yes, sure you have other problems.. but SO DO WE.. we have them in addition to all this extra daily grind that never EVER goes away. No rest, little (if any) respite, and no SODDING sleep! Perhaps I sound jealous of you. Perhaps I am.

TheDaVinciCod · 19/10/2006 19:20

need to get thommy on to it

bctmum · 19/10/2006 19:23

Could it be in active conversations if you've signed in to it - not a password but that you want to see it in your active conversations list.

I'd want to see it in active as it's an important area & I learn alot from it - one of the great things about mumsnet.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 19/10/2006 20:24

back to square one with that post sleepjess.

Flamebat · 19/10/2006 20:30

Oh Capp

I don't think anyone wants to shut you out. I for one (even with no SN reasons) am already missing it, and will be using the "with SN" button as soon as it comes.

I liked the suggestion for something to pop up saying "you are about to post in SN", but I don't know if that was even possible - it seemed a good way to keep SN included, but stop people accidentally giving NT advice on things where it wasn't appropriate.

Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 20:51

you know what I wonder?

that bit at the bottom that tells us not to mention SheWhoMustNotBeNamed when you go to add a post

on special needs, could it not say something like 'this is a special needs board, please treat posts here with sensitivity'?

I mean if we can do it for her, surely we can do it for us?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 20:54

and shiny purple heads lady

if you can tell the parents of nt mums to bugger off here, you can tell them to bugger off on sn threads

OP posts:
Flamebat · 19/10/2006 21:00

I was wondering that too - it would have to be a different colour to the SWMNBN version because I don't notice that anymore, but surely it could work?

I know I am an NT parent and don't count, just feel that SN will end up drifting into the locked area, and it will end up hidden away, which just feels wrong.

Original poster
Cappuccino · 19/10/2006 21:03

great minds think alike flame

it's a solution that doesn't alter anything about mn while still doing some use

OP posts:
hub2dee · 19/10/2006 22:19

The only problem with this, is that if people get heated, they will ignore it, and also trolls will ignore it. I don't think even strongly worded text could get people to think before they post...

Flamebat · 19/10/2006 22:25

Then there should be a button on all posts so that if they post something bad, the SN parents can click it, and they will recieve an electric shock next time they touch their keyboard

eidsvold · 19/10/2006 22:25

i still look in sn - just means I have to click on it rather than just look at all active convos - I figure if you really want to access sn that is what you would do to.