Am I a troll?

[YouAreMyRain]

If I start a thread and don't tell the whole truth, does that make me a troll?

The recent hysteria on here about trolls and trolling means that many long time posters are doubting the authenticity of everything they read on here.

When does "embellishing the truth" become "trolling"?

Are we obliged to tell 100% truth in our threads? Can we be labelled as trolls if we don't?

I'm just wondering because some threads seem to be zapped just because the OP has been slightly dishonest, even when the thread started honestly and the OP lost their way.

I'm thinking of a recent thread where the OP felt obliged to under-report her knowledge of her DHs infidelity because she wasn't ready to confront him. She lied on her thread because she didn't want to reveal the full situation and feel under pressure to confront him.

Now her thread is zapped, everyone assumes it's because she's a troll and consequently are overly suspicious of everything, when in this case, it was mostly honest.

By lying on her thread, was this trolling?

Don't we all tweak the truth a bit at times on here?

Can you say which thread that was as a lot have gone "poof" recently? How did it come out?

Who knows what the truth is? What truth are we going by?

The op on any thread doesn't report what might be seen by some as the only Truth , because we are all unreliable narrators.

The truth hunters are just searching for a perfect world that doesn't exist. Even in their own minds.

Well she did have lots of posters following her progress and giving her advice about how to get into his phone etc. when she had already got into the phoe and seen the evidence. Blatant lying and stringing a load of people along with it

But she didn't set out to deceive people. Her thread was initially genuine but then she felt pressurised to update the expectant audience and was embarrassed by the truth.

I have been economical with the truth on threads before.

I don't always explain the full circumstances if I don't think it's necessary or would help in that situation.

Under one name change I pretended to be more brave than I actually was in RL. I lied and said I'd tackled an issue that I was actually too scared to. I felt that the posters on my thread needed updates and that they would feel better/more helpful if I said I'd followed their advice. I also wanted to set a good example for others in my situation that might read my thread in the future.

I deceived people so am I a troll?

In my early MN days I posted some very personal threads and didn't get any responses. I get now that I've been on here a bit longer that people may have thought I was a troll so didn't reply - new member, few posts, personal stories - but I was coming off ADs (now back on them) and feeling very vulnerable. Some of the recent posts have struck a cord with me because I can see why posters are suspicious but I can also see how people do genuinely need help when situations happen that they can't get to grips with. I think the problem is that we are all anonymous on here so when messages don't ring true - perhaps because they have been embellished or people are withholding information - then it's easy to shout troll. Personally I've stopped posting asking for opinions on anything sensitive - ADs back on track and feeling more stable.

But there have been a lot of pulled threads recently so I think posters are more conscious of what people are saying and are quick to jump on warning bells. I don't know how to link on here bloody amateur but there is a post from MNHQ where they are trying to explain things. Worth looking out for.

YouAreMyRain

You are a kind person who did what they thought was best. It's not what I would call trolling, no.

However, it's a bit sad that you felt the need to do what you did, you shouldn't worry about how helpful others feel they have been nor what they expect, you should just be honest about things and get the help you need

Boris I'm sorry you feel you can't post asking for support anymore, that's sad too :( But I'm glad your AD's are working and you feel more stable :)

Right - linking instructions.

Open the thread in another tab
Copy the bit in the address bar
Come back to this thread and type then paste the address then type but don't leave spaces between the ]] and the words. So you'd type [[www

It's on Site Stuff, still can't figure out how to link

Like this...

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2216573-OFFICIAL-MNHQ-THREAD-on-posts-about-suicide-troll-hunting-and-related-matters?msgid=50264618 ]]

But without the spaces and it ends up like this

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2216573-OFFICIAL-MNHQ-THREAD-on-posts-about-suicide-troll-hunting-and-related-matters?msgid=50264618

If you want to write something, leave 2 spaces after the pasted bit and before the ]] and you end up with

link here

If you deliberately lie on the internet you are trolling.

Thanks Chilling - the irony is the things I was posting about was what put me on ADs in the first place!

Hopefully, here is the link:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2216573-OFFICIAL-MNHQ-THREAD-on-posts-about-suicide-troll-hunting-and-related-matters

Did it work?

I disagree usual. There are lots of things that you can lie about and it doesn't make it trolling. Details that make no difference to anyone else but help to maintain your anonymity for starters.

Yes Boris it did, but if you put each side of the paste without the spaces it makes it neater :)

I agree. I think it's totally reasonable to fudge details to maintain your anonymity.

That's not trolling.

Troll hunting is an incredible breach of trust. You lay yourself bare and someone says you're making it up. Who are people to judge anyone just because their delivery of their thread doesn't follow the acceptable norms. It's like living in a xenophobic village. Conform or else. MN was like this a few years ago, put me off for a long time. Nasty people with too much time on their hands stirring up trouble like the sister in law on a Jeremy Kyle show.

Good trolling definitions www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=trolling

We certainly need a clear definition of trolling and what is against Talk Guidelines from MNHQ. There are far too many different interpretations flying around. To alter "Details that make no difference to anyone else but help to maintain your anonymity" is plain common sense and anyone is plain daft not to do it.

That's a good definition, candles. C&P'd here:

Trolling

Being a prick on the internet because you can. Typically unleashing one or more cynical or sarcastic remarks on an innocent by-stander, because it's the internet and, hey, you can.

Guy: "I just found the coolest ninja pencil in existence."
Other Guy: "I just found the most retarded thread in existence."

You can lie about things that are not relevant to the thread to preserve anonymity. That's not trolling. You shouldn't lie about things that are relevant to the thread. That's no good, even if you're not meaning to troll/upset people etc.

Although sometimes it's difficult to tell what information is relevant/may become relevant so it can be a slippery slope.

No, based on your OP, you're not a troll.

But she didn't set out to deceive people. Her thread was initially genuine but then she felt pressurised to update the expectant audience and was embarrassed by the truth.

No, she took several days to 'work out' the passcode on his phone. She had posters checking in with her and giving advice. She was trying to 'steal' the phone which was glued to his side and sneak off to try the passwords. She could only do two at a time before the phone locked.

All this was posted on the thread when, in reality, she had already accessed the phone and seen the evidence that she claimed she was looking for.

Unless you're talking about a different troll? There are so many at the moment it's getting tricky to keep track.

What about reverse threads? Are they trolling?

I think the general attitude of this site is very troll-suspicious.

When the recent suicide thread was pulled this place was full of long time posters saying "I knew it was a troll, but I can't say how I knew" etc

It wasn't a troll though was it? It was zapped because of it's sensitive nature and mnhq are now revising their policy on such threads.

But now, because three big threads were zapped, everyone claims this place is full of trolls.

One was a reverse, one was sensitive, one started honestly and then became deceitful.

I'm not sure how trolly that makes them.

In an ideal world, everyone would post exactly as things are, with no unnecessary embellishment, hyperbole or evasion. But of course, life is rarely ideal

As we've said in the past that we understand if people occasionally fudge details such as their DC's age, or locations, in order to avoid being identified. But if we get this impression that people are posting to intentionally mislead people, then we will take further action