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MNHQ

Average age of first-time mothers is now 30 - how old were you?

540 replies

KateMumsnet · 17/07/2014 10:57

Hello all

Research published yesterday shows that the average British woman is now having her first child at the age of 30 - and we wondered whether this matches MNers' own experiences. So do share your thoughts - are you bang on average, or under, or over? Does it matter - and would you make the same decision again, given the chance?

OP posts:
bunnyfrance · 18/07/2014 15:49

36 and 38 for no. 2. No regrets

PicardyThird · 18/07/2014 15:50

Had my first at 28, second at 30. It was right for us. Glad we didn't wait longer - had 1 mc before and another 2 between the dc and have had a further three while trying for dc3 (which is ongoing, I am now 37).

PicardyThird · 18/07/2014 15:55

In terms of how 'old' or 'young' I felt, context was all. We were among the first of our circle of friends to have children, and those that were ahead of us were some years older. I was on the younger side in my ante-natal class with dc1 and we were regarded as relatively young parents in the city we used to live in. We moved to an entirely new area a while ago and I read in the paper that the average age of all mothers registering births in our local town in 2012 - so not just the first-time ones - was 28. There are a lot of very young mothers here. If we ever do get no. 3 I will be among the oldies. But if we moved back to our city I would no doubt feel average.

LBOCS · 18/07/2014 17:18

I was 27. It worked for me.

zanashar · 18/07/2014 17:25

36 ( right now with 8 weeks left until EDD)
Still enough time for #2 (fingers crossed)

whiskers72 · 18/07/2014 17:29
  1. Felt like a good time for me, mind you up until we started to try I wasn't going to have kids nor was dh!!
Mintyy · 18/07/2014 18:12

38

MrsCosmopilite · 18/07/2014 18:33

42
No mention of my age during checkups although I was sent for a consultation with a specialist in case I was at risk of high blood pressure etc. Had a problem-free pregnancy and now have a VERY active small child.

ssmile · 18/07/2014 20:45

34&39, right time, right DH Smile. I wonder how old the dads are? My brother is having his second at 50 this year Grin

WhyIRayLiotta · 18/07/2014 21:11

Yep sounds about right. I was 30.

ginfizplease · 18/07/2014 21:58

Suffolk hmm, are you 100% sure about that? Rumour has it you've said otherwise elsewhere...

lyndie · 18/07/2014 22:07
  1. In my profession considered a gymslip mum! People were horrified. Was also a childbride at 24 Smile
YoHoHoandabottleofWine · 18/07/2014 22:20
  1. I met DH when I was nearly 33. Had my 2nd at nearly 37.

I would have had them earlier if I had met DH earlier, I was concerned at the time as Dsis had been TTC for many years. Worked out well though- still young, had a lot of fun in my 20s, at the highest point of my career I wanted to get to, financially secure.

OscarWinningActress · 18/07/2014 23:00

I met DH at Uni and we got married the summer after graduation, when I was 23. We travelled and worked for a bit and had DD just after I turned 25. I worked for about a year after DD was born (long hours, crazy commute) and then packed it in to be a SAHM when DH started progressing very quickly in his profession, more than doubling his salary. I've been at home ever since and I love it...it suits me and it works for our family. DH is unusually young for his professional role and we live in an affluent, middle-class suburb...we are definitely unusual amongst our peer group...most of the parents of the DC's friends are mid-forties and dual-income (I'm 37, DH is 40). I wouldn't change anything; we have a nice, comfortable life. Our kids are happy and healthy, we are happy and satisfied in our roles, we own our pretty little house (we recently downsized from a much bigger, far more expensive and time-consuming one) and our (one, good) car and can afford a few luxuries and the odd holiday now-and-again.

Devora · 19/07/2014 00:25
  1. I don't regret it in that there was no option to choose to be younger, it had to be older mum or no mum at all. I would definitely prefer to be a younger mother - my second child was born when I was 45 - I feel knackered and concerned about how long I'll be around and fit for my kids. But families face far worse problems than this.

I had my first pregnancy at 16, and was devastated that I didn't get to be a mum then. Soon after I came out as gay, and having children seemed like it would be impossible for me (younger posters - most of you! - might not know that it has only been legal for gay couples to adopt for a few years, and even when I was ttc for dd1 our hospital refused to do any fertility investigations because I am lesbian. Back in the 80s, when I came out, there were of course gay parents but they were few and far between and very much pioneers. Social opinion was that gay parenting was cruel and irresponsible.

By my 30s the social mood was changing and I started thinking seriously about how I was going to do this. I was in a new relationship and we decided to wait awhile longer, so I was 35 by the time we started seriously. It took me 6 years to sort out how to get pregnant and then to actually get pregnant. I never chose to be an older mum, but in the end I was.

Having said that, and generally feeling regretful that I'm not 10 years younger, I'm aware that I'm raising my children in a far more tolerant and welcoming environment than would have been possible 20 or even 10 years earlier. After school today I invited the neighbours' kids over and we spent a happy couple of hours splashing in the paddling pool, then their parents came over for a drink. They are very ordinary (nice!) people in a very ordinary-but-nice suburb. This is not Islington. I don't believe our family could have lived here to happily when I was young, and I'm glad my children experience their community as welcoming.

And, some perspective: my second child is adopted, and though I think it would be nice for her to have a younger mum, when I compare what she has now to what she would have had with her birth family, there is no comparison.

Sorry, that turned out a bit of an epic Blush

Pinotgrigioplease · 19/07/2014 00:27

Just shy of 30. A very similar age to lots of my friends

gwenig2 · 19/07/2014 09:13

33, after being told couldn't have children without IVF and consived naturally. Second at 35.

Unsureif · 19/07/2014 09:29

I was 28 and it feels really young to me now!

GreenGrassStains · 19/07/2014 09:44

18, felt too young during the pregnancy but definitely wouldn't change it now.

JugglingFromHereToThere · 19/07/2014 11:13

No need to apologise Devora - all good to read Smile

< looks for the nosey bod emoticon! >

Sarahplane · 19/07/2014 11:38

I'd just turned 20 and I think I was too young. Had my second dc at 25 and felt that was a much better age.

RelocatorRelocator · 19/07/2014 12:58

I was 31 and younger than most of my friends when they had children.

It was a good age for me.

BeCool · 19/07/2014 13:04

I was no where near ready at 30, but I sometimes think of the years of DD's lifes I will miss.

BeCool · 19/07/2014 13:05

Lives!

LindaMcCartneySausage · 19/07/2014 13:05

We started trying when I was 31, but we needed IVF. I'd prefer to have started younger, obviously, but also now DH doesn't want DC3 because he feels too old for another baby stage Sad. But in fact that extra 2 years or so, despite being heartbreaking, did change our life financially so that we could afford for me to not work for a few years.