Average age of first-time mothers is now 30 - how old were you?

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

Research published yesterday shows that the average British woman is now having her first child at the age of 30 - and we wondered whether this matches MNers' own experiences. So do share your thoughts - are you bang on average, or under, or over? Does it matter - and would you make the same decision again, given the chance?

18 with first, 25 for 2nd and 29 for the 3rd and final one

28

40 nearly 41

Wish I had been younger but didn't meet anyone I wanted a baby with until then. I'd have loved more than one child but sadly it wasn't to be 'at my time of life'

28

32. Perfect for me - married good career, friends all having children at the same time.

Ditto Sunny. 32 and 2nd at 34. Wasn't ready before.

23. Had had all 4 by 30. DH was only 21. Hasn't stopped us doing anything tbh, although where we live we are regarded as v young for parents of DC1. I'm 10 years younger than any of DC1's friends' mums.

31, born ten days after my birthday.
34.
Definitely felt old recovering after birth with second.

38 and 40.

Not one midwife or doctor mentioned my age at all. I did ask the gp about it when I found out I was pregnant the first time but she just looked at me.

And after dd2 was born, the midwives were all, oh you're only 40, plenty of time for a dd3. I think not

35
Not through choice or career or money though.

Not that I mean there isn't plenty of time or you shouldn't after 40 just no more for me!

20

Feels a lifetime ago (he's only 6!)

30

So cliche

I was dead on average. 6 wks pregnant on my 30th

I had always planned to have my children before I was thirty but wasn't in a position to have them.

I have no regrets about when I had them. I feel like I have done my travelling and share of meals out etc. I did raise my eyebrows about being an elderly mother with the third child.

32 - had not wanted one at all before trying for the first one. Got married and wanted a child straightaway. So didn't 'wait' as such.

37 for first 39 for second both teenagers now 17 +19
must be pay back for what I put my mum through (sorry mum)

33. A great age for us as we weren't ready until then. We'd been married for years but I'd just never felt broody until then.

28. But I'd have been 25 if the first pg had gone to term. In my Mum and Baby group it was me, an 18 year old and a group of ladies who were all 30 at their next birthday.

I was 43 when I had my daughter ('geriatric mother' - I think they called me!). My now nearly 10-yr-old daughter is beautiful, healthy, bright and strong-willed and I can't imagine my life without her. BUT - I really do wish I'd had her 10+ years earlier. I had problems conceiving but we had still left it quite late to start trying for a baby (I was about 36/37), assuming (like most people) that it would just happen. It didn't and we eventually found out the probable cause was that my eggs weren't being released at the right time each month. I had 2-3 courses of IUI treatment and HSG injections but actually conceived during the (Xmas) break from treatment. Thank you, Santa!

I would advise all women who are putting off starting a family to at least get their, and their partner's fertility tested early on. If you have any problems it can take years to sort them out - on the NHS. And, of course, if you just can't conceive naturally, you can consider the options, including adoption. You need plenty of time - years for all that. Being up against the clock just adds to the stress.
The good things about being an older mother are that I don't need to work (we are much better off now), I have more time, I'm a bit more patient than I used to be and we only have one daughter so we can give her more. My husband and I have done many of the things we wanted to do before children got in the way. The downsides are that I feel more tired on a daily basis than I would have done at 30 or so, I am probably the oldest Mum at the school gate (although my daughter isn't bothered about that - yet), my DD has only one 94-yr-old grandfather who has dementia, she has no siblings (although we tried for a 2nd child), we will probably be quite old grandparents - unless she starts having children at 20. My parents had me at 41 - my sister is 14 years older than me so we've never been that close - and I did resent them for being 'old'. I'm sure they didn't plan it that way. But we did let time slip by and have done the same thing and I'm regretful about that.
You can't use celebrities as an example of how great it is to be an older mother because these women don't live in the same world as the rest of us. They don't have money worries and they have armies of nannies, cooks and assistants to clear up all the mess. They get the quality time with their kids without the tiredness. And they can afford to keep themselves looking years younger. That's not my reality, I'm afraid!

Just want to add that being older doesn't mean you'll have a more difficult pregnancy or birth. I had a wonderful, trouble-free pregnancy, didn't gain too much weight and gave birth at home with a bit of Entonox (I stopped using it when it made me throw up!). I had 2 lovely midwives (the 2nd one was there for the final 2-3 hours) and was fully encouraged to have a home birth by the Whittington Team. It makes me laugh when I watch programmes like One Born Every Minute and see how much fuss some teenage Mums make almost from their first contraction. It's supposed to be easier for the young.

Jules just to balance it out, I was 19 when DD was born and the midwives said I made induction look easy I didn't even swear, and normally I swear like a sailor . Meanwhile the older woman opposite told me gleefully the night before that I'd be in agony and begging for the epidural within hours. On the postnatal ward she was talking about how horrific and painful it was, and didn't we all agree, and wasn't the epidural bliss?

That said, my pregnancy was hellish, so I figure I deserved a good birth but yes, being a teenager doesn't mean you'll have an easy ride of it!

30

22, I finished my degree while DS was tiny.

Having kids young was absolutely the right decision for our family. We are financially stable, well educated and travel often - I don't understand why some people think having kids relatively young and also having those things are mutually exclusive. Also, for some people those things simply aren't that important anyway and it's having a rich family life that means the most!

30. 6 and a bit years ago. All of my kids' friends' parents are older than us. We live abroad so perhaps it's a cultural thing. I teach in a school and also notice the parents seem to be a little older.