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Isn't about Fattism was added to the list of prohibited 'isms'?

199 replies

Fideliney · 30/06/2014 06:45

I've read one too many rather squawky assertions recently on MN that 'skinny bashing' has the same socio-cultural connotations and (ahem) heft as fattism. It doesn't.

Isn't fattism the only socially widespread discrimination/ hatred NOT specifically banned on MN now? Have I got that right?

I've been mulling this overnight and things are routinely posted about overweight people on MN which, if the words 'asian' or 'gay' were substituted for 'fat' or 'obese', nobody would even attempt to defend.

I know haterz gotta hate or whatever the expression is but could we just leave them something insipid and harmless like nylon hating or persecution of cockroaches to get on with and make a clean sweep of the 'isms'?

OP posts:

Report

PetulaGordino · 30/06/2014 17:24

wrt constantly having to say "no" to food that is offered (and in some social situations with some element of coercsion), this article is interesting in terms of willpower and decision-making

www.huffingtonpost.com/james-clear/decision-fatigue_b_4044212.html

PetulaGordino · 30/06/2014 17:25

*coercion

Inthedarkaboutfashion · 30/06/2014 18:06

If I look at a slimming magazine where they show before and after diets for successful slimmers I can promise you mine has always been far more like the latter than the former yet I am still very large.

My relative tells me that all the time but it isn't true though because I have witnessed her eating and shopping habits. Denial is what affects a lot of people's waistlines.

ScarlettlovesRhett · 30/06/2014 19:25

I've put on 4 stone over 6 months - I feel like shit.
Fat, miserable about being fat, so tired it's hard to exercise because of the fat, ashamed of the fat and the fact that I have got this way.

In other news, I am happy because following a massive operation I am now pain free - something I wasn't for 6 months. That was the pain and debilitating illness that left me practically bed ridden for most of 6 months - on high dose steroids, also having to give up smoking.

To all the people who think I should simply "eat less", I wonder if you could explain how I put on half a stone in just over a week whilst lying in a hospital bed 'nil by mouth' for most of it in case I needed an emergency op?

When you are used to leading an active life, with regular exercise and suddenly you can't - you realise pretty quickly how easy it is to become the 'thing' that disgusts so many people.

KateSMumsnet · 02/07/2014 16:45

Hi everyone,

Thanks for this. You're right that we list a lot of 'isms', but there's a potential problem in that approach, which is that we could end up in a situation where it's assumed that it's OK to be vile about any group that isn't specifically exempted. The isms are really there to illustrate the kind of thing we take seriously (you'd be amazed how many people have never heard of 'disablism').

Of course, that doesn't mean with think it's OK for someone to rock up and start saying pointlessly mean things about overweight people. As ever, we like to consider this sort of thing in context: if someone is making a seriously argued point about the effect that obesity is having on the NHS, that's fine - and it can be difficult to make this sort of point without talking about the ways in which some obesity is down to personal choices and behaviour (just as with lung cancer and smoking). If, however, they're just taking the opportunity to laugh at people without making any sort of thoughtful point, that would almost certainly put them on our radar. If they do it repeatedly, it would start to look a lot like deliberately inflammatory behaviour. We have both mailed and banned posters for this sort of pattern of behaviour, and we're happy to carry on doing so.

So as ever (sorry) the best solution for now is to report anyone who you think is just being pointlessly unpleasant. Even if we don't take action straight away, it all helps us to build a picture of how some posters are behaving.

settingsitting · 07/07/2014 17:30

So basically, it is one ism too many.
Until perhaps it becomes more of a nationally debated issue.

Darkesteyes · 07/07/2014 17:58

One January (it was either 2012 or 2013) I counted no less than four weight bashing threads on AIBU. It was disgusting and really nasty.

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 08/07/2014 08:13

I see whole families with matching obesity. I can never have respect for them. It passes on from generation to generation in many cases
^^ this shows us what actual fattism is.
I will not respect you because you are fat.

I will not employ you because you are fat.

I will not treat you because you are fat.

I will not be friends with you because you are fat.

Everything else about fat versus thin and being a bit rude to someone by calling them fatty is beside the point.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 08/07/2014 11:15

Same as scarlett for me. I have a ridiculously healthy diet most of the time, and i know what a good diet is. But i became ill and went from walking everywhere to using a wheelchair. My weight has ballooned. You dont realise how much you are doing til you stop.

And there is something very wrong that what worries me most is that people will look at me and think "if she did some exercise she wouldnt need that chair"

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo · 08/07/2014 13:00

You are in exactly the same situation as me, beyond. I regularly get told that I am not properly disabled and it's my own fault.

settingsitting · 08/07/2014 13:03

It will come, this fattism. And rightly so.
Then presumably mumsnet will act as well and get in line. They are nothing if not pc.

goodasitgets · 09/07/2014 00:12

It's things such as the post above that bug me saying "exercise is a great mood lifter"
Don't look at me and presume because I'm fat I don't exercise
Yes I have a sedentary job but I do pole fitness, horse ride, volunteer for a dog rescue, gym (weights) and spin classes
Fat and fit aren't completely separate, you can be overweight and healthy

Darkesteyes · 09/07/2014 18:14

Its taken me just under a year to lose 2 stone 8 pounds. My weight loss has been slow even though ive been following the same plan as the rest of the slimming world class I go to. Some of them are losing 5 pounds a week whereas 2 and a half pounds in a fortnight is a big loss for me.

first time round at sw I lost 10 stone and could lose a stone in a month. But that was over a decade ago and I am older now. In the last year ive gone from a 22 to a 16 but its been a fucking struggle. And the so called sw fb support page that goes with our group....ppl are always posting thinspiration shit on there. I would hardly call that supportive.

Selks · 09/07/2014 18:26

If ever evidence was needed that there are unpleasantly fat-shaming attitudes on MN this thread is it. Q.E.D.

Darkesteyes · 13/07/2014 21:21

Take a look at this thread Particularly page 11

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2130885-Perfect-example-this-morning-of-why-the-uk-is-heading-to-obesity?pg=1

Darkesteyes · 23/07/2014 21:51

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2141050-to-be-angry-at-the-fact-women-MUST-NOT-BE-FAT?pg=1

vdbfamily · 23/07/2014 22:41

I am someone who has been overweight from a small child. My mother is a similar shape to me and my dad is slimmer. I married a tall skinny guy and have 2 very slender daughters and a chunkier (but healthy bmi) son. It is obvious to me that there is a genetic predisposition to the size you are. I have a very tall slim cousin who was very 'fattist' and always hated her in-laws as they were both overweight and guess what?She has a daughter who struggles with her weight (presumably her husbands genes) and she can't understand why as she has always fed her a healthy diet. That is why it is so inappropriate to judge people for the size they are. I have decided just to be happy the way I am rather than be endlessly worrying about it.

Darkesteyes · 24/07/2014 21:16

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2141623-i-am-distraught-with-the-amount-of-morbitly-obese-people

Darkesteyes · 24/07/2014 21:24

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2141620-To-think-fat-people-should-pay-higher-taxes?pg=1

Darkesteyes · 26/07/2014 21:11

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2141785-Fat-fabulous-and-I-dont-fucking-care-what-you-think?pg=1

This thread has some REAL doozies on there. Including classic gaslighting.

The only thing that's huge is the prejudice!

Darkesteyes · 21/08/2014 22:52

And yet another one has got comments on from an abusive tosser.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2163805-To-be-slightly-annoyed-at-dps-comments-re-losing-weight-and-marriage

Darkesteyes · 13/09/2014 21:57

And yet more examples including a very triggering post from someone who says women should be 9 stone.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2182047-To-think-Prejudice-against-fat-people-is-NOT-as-bad-as-racism?pg=1

Darkesteyes · 13/09/2014 21:58

Wow Looking at the dates on these posts and my links on here REALLY shows how often this happens doesnt it??!!!!!!!!!!!!

HelenaDove · 29/02/2016 18:54

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2581737-Shes-a-size-16-not-an-14-right-possibly-even-an-18

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