Why is there a separate section for special needs in Education?

[depankrispaneven]

Wouldn't it just be simpler to include something referring people to the more active SN section further down the page? And indeed to put that section immediately underneath the Education section?

Sorry if this comes over wrong, slightly upset over dd.....

Anyway, I meant between the boards not literally. And if that is the definition what does that make those on lower rate disability?

hmmm, yes I put 'parents' first and then realised there would have to be a distinction between parents/carers and parent's with disabilities. But you are right, polter, in that I think of myself as a parent first and carer second, it may also alienate people who are just realising their child has difficulties - it really is a thorny one.

I agree that sn:children, to me encompasses children through to adulthood, but i remember on one of the previous threads like this that parents of older children saw 2 problems - 1) they didn't want to 'frighten' people who were just starting out or (as was said to me at the time 'had cute kids') and 2) that parents of older children needed the advice from other parents of older children, rather than parents of younger children.

Does any of that make any sense? Personally I don't agree and I think we can all learn things from each other - regardless of age, diagnosis, lack of diagnosis etc.

And now i think I am going to disappear up my own arse.

I don't think age has got anything to do with anything tbh, especially in the SN world. People are just where they are. Systems are what they are. And all of that has absolutely no consistency to speak of.

The parent/carer distinction is a fine line. I never think of myself as a carer. I probably should more.

Lougle you are right re: the SAHM issue. I chose to when dd was little. I have no choice now. I am studying (OU), but without any real hope that I will be able to do anything with it - it's 'just something to do' (although as we all know, there's plenty to do anyway!)

I do still identify as a SAHM, though. Despite ranting and racing about being stuck at home now, and not being able to make my own choices in life, etc. your post just now has made me wonder why. Hmmm. Interesting.

I have no choice. It's why I had a 3rd. I saw it as a promotion, going from 2 kids to 3.

Now I'm a 'Executive SAHM', but I'm also in many formal documents 'Ds' Advocate'.

Ds wasn't a choice as such, but yes, he does usefully full my time now he's here

And has stopped (for now at least) the usual question of "so when do you think you'll go back to work" that I got all the time at dd2's school...

definitely. Maybe in fact!

Mumsnetters with disabilities - yes! That works, I couldn't think of anything except adults or parents.

I agree, zzzzz. We all lead difficult lives. We all lead busy lives. Those of us who post on the SN: Children board, offering support to people as well as getting support, do so voluntarily. We don't say 'search the archives' if people have questions about support, statementing, school action plus. We sit and type an answer relevant to the person asking, even if the information within it has been said 1000 times.

For people to come along and say that the SN section doesn't meet their requirements and have no interest in posting, but just thought they'd let us know how crap we all are, is so demoralising.

devientenigma, I'm glad that FB has given you what you need. I have no interest in online jokes and quizzes and am rubbish at small talk. I give what I can in MNSN and get a whole lot more than I give, I'm sure. I do as much voluntary work as I can manage (governor at two schools, select committee for children and young people, independent admissions appeals panel, volunteer once per week at DD1's school, volunteer once per week at DD2's school), because it makes use of my skill set and gives me something to focus on - a change is as good as a rest, as they say.

For years I only had the internet to converse with when needing timeout from DS. I couldn't leave him in the house alone, so I used to have here for support and fb for fun. I'm sure the type of person I am at times people now on fb don't know whether I am serious or not but hey such as life. Even dds say that about me on there.

I used to like to help out on here when I could although I did find people thought my ideas were a bit extreme, then I realized I was treating everyone like DS and when you've tried everything what next. I think I got so stuck in the extreme ness that was and is DS that I could function at the going through the stages level. Now I know I'm not explaining myself right and now it looks as though here we go again, I am patronising etc when actually I'm not. Anyway did I say fb gave me what I needed.

What I needed was a face to face convo with an adult, maybe time away from the house. I defo needed and still do need changes for DS at home.i have no skills to offer and before I used to also volunteer as a parent alongside the profs on shaping the future for parents, as we'll as the kids themselves who are in the system. (What a joke that sounds with what we went through).

I do feel like you are having a gripe with me, I know I am inferior as a mother, as a wife, a a carer etc etc, in fact yes I'm totally useless, that's why life, my family etc is going through hell.

I need a life coach or something!

I don't have a gripe with you. I haven't suggested that you are inferior in any way, shape or form. I am saying that it isn't fair to come to MNSN every few months and instead of joining in, giving support, etc., just criticising it.

You came and posted on a thread. I saw your name and said 'devientenigma, good to see you!'. You posted an update, I posted. Now, you are saying that thread is evidence that nobody is interested in you.

If you are so sure that no-one is interested in you and it's all personal, you could have name changed, posted on threads, joined in, etc. Instead, you choose to believe that you are outcast from MNSN.

I can't change how you feel and I'm not going to continue to defend MNSN. It is what it is. I'm proud of all the posters there. They give, and give, and give and give some more, when frankly they're fighting big enough battles in their own lives to sink a ship.

I did not say it like that, I said that's how it feels which is different to how you say it but proves it doesn't matter what or how I say it, it's wrong. I know I could of nc but I'm easy enough guessed at who I am due to DS, then 6 kids, then 4 with needs. I know everyone has battles and i don't know how everyone seems to cope and get on in life. Everyone is fantastic.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs_chat/1955176-Quick-update-smile?

There is no post from you here but then no doubt you will find another before me.

Ok yous all win, I'm defeated. I just thought if people felt like me, try to see it from that pov but no it completely went against me, as for bringing up old posts where people aren't here to defend themselves that's wrong too.

Devientenigma I think you're an amazing person and incredibly strong. I have some idea of how hard it's been, and especially over Christmas, so am sending you hugs xxxxx (I've changed names again)

I really must walk away now, I have been told since some time this morning, anyway Lougle your qualities are wasted in your voluntary work, maybe you should retrain as a barrister, you would be damn good.

Devientenigma, it isn't a war, you against the rest of mnsn. I am now worrying because I didn't reply to your pm, or post on your thread, because I just haven't got round to it...that's all...there is no conspiracy.

Aw thanks NoRunAround you have me beat just as much as trying to show how peoples perceptions, feelings etc do on here. Fingers crossed DS goes back to his few hours away from home come Tuesday, where I am gonna attempt to nap and catch up on the 5 nights of sleep he refused with being up a height, not to mention sorting a new carer as the one consistent can't afford to be attacked again ( who can blame her though) and continue try getting school formalised into part 4 of the statement. They already moan about the cost of him and I think what he needs is really gonna cost too much, I'm dreading asking for it. I wish you would inbox me who you are, please x

Hazey I'm not warring against mn just some think I am, I'm sorry you picked it up that way. Don't worry about the inbox or thread, we are all busy, in fact dd this weekend her ODD is shining through, she has me beat too, however one day she will see the consequences if what she has done will only affect herself.

You know who I am think sims

Ah cheers for that ........oh how I really miss sims candy crush is not the same!! now shows how sad I am!

Can someone explain the group think thing please?

Thanks for that zzzzz, I knew I had seen something, was just wondering what the post in sn was referring to.