Mumsnet Christmas Appeal - suggestions please

[JustineMumsnet]

Following on from a couple of threads discussing the Christmas appeal over the weekend, I thought we should post our thoughts on things.

First we're really sorry if not being nominated for this year's appeal has made anyone feel bad or left out. Obviously it's the opposite of why we do it but the truth is there will always be deserving people who, for whatever reason - frequent namechanges or pure and simple oversight - will be overlooked.

Over the years the Xmas appeal really has brought a lot of joy both to the givers and receivers of gifts - this is a typical post/mail from a giver:

"It is a wonderful thing this Santa business. It totally dispels the idea that Mumsnet is no more than words on a screen and shatters the notion of the pit of vipers. Since being matched with you, not a day has passed when I haven't thought of you and your family. Your posts shine with warmth, humour and love for your family. You are a remarkable woman. For me, it has been more than sending a little something: you have made me really think about what Christmas should be.
So I thank you too, and will raise a glass to you and yours on Christmas Day. Much love to you all"

As Christmas becomes every more about consumption we think the appeal for many is a reminder of what it is really all about. It certainly is for us at MNHQ and consequently we are very happy to put a lot of MNHQ resource into the operation; SandyMumsnet pretty much devotes a month of time to it.

Clearly it doesn't operate optimally for everyone, but net net, it really is a good thing I believe. That said we'd value suggestions about how you think we could do it better. We took over the operation of the appeal only because it was becoming too big a job for any individual - but it was conceived by Mumsnetters for Mumsnetters and exists pretty much in the same form as that original idea.

Do let us know your thoughts and suggestions here.

Scarlett - I think the Christmas thing has closed for this year.

I have seen long running threads where people kindly give things away. I'll try and link one, hang on ...

I think it should be a secret santa and be clear it is a token gift. A gesture to thank someone or cheer them up. That way, there won't be any motivation to deceive. More of a kind of, thinking of you. And then perhaps those who aren't really struggling financially will be more comfortable receiving a present as well.

BOF Mon 21-Oct-13 16:28:24 My suggestion is that you should be on high alert for stirring trolls who want to sow dissatisfaction and bad feeling among mumsnetters

THIS ^^

IT is not causing friction/problems - they are. A handful of trouble making sock puppets. To change the way it works is to give into those trouble makers.

I can see that for people 'not in the know' that Christmas Appeal might not acurately reflect what it's all about (yes, yes, I do know what Appeal means, but many take it to assume charity/fundraising/other) and so perhaps Christmas Kindness could be a good new name :)

Secret Santa doesn't reflect what this is either - so I don't think that's a good name.

Plastering the 'Nominations Time' thread on more boards would be good, it was easy to miss.

People saying we should change it to making it either a fundraiser or goods sent to Woman's Aid or Whatever Worthy Charity - are missing the point. People already to do that if they want to . THIS is about putting a smile on another Mumnetters face

Understood Maryz.

I don't donate to get a thanks, but to spread a little festive cheer, to let the person know that someone is thinking of them.

I do like to read the thank you thread because it demonstrates the warmth and thoughtfulness offered to Mumsnetters by each other. Tis all!

I disagree that those with different views are necessarily trolls or sps

People with different views are not trolls they are people.

But trolls are trolls.

Greenie - I think you have to trust Sandy to match donors and recipients.

Poster A might be able & willing to donate a box of chocolates.

A box of chocolates is a lovely gift for a 'Poster B has been very supportive & I'd like to nominate her'

Poster C might be willing & able to donate £200 of supermarket vouchers

It is a lovely gift for family D who are struggling to buy food & clothes - let alone presents.

Trust Sandy to match A & B and C & D.

Why restrict it if people are happy to give larger gifts and there are posters who really need the help?

There is no reason at all for people to think it's a 'charity' appeal. The HQ sponsored threads make the reasoning quite clear already.

I also really take exception to this talk of 'token' gifts and people therefore 'feeling less awkward'. This is all hung upon on some sort of Victorian idea that it's in some way shameful to receive the benefit of somebody's generosity. It isn't. Give when you can, receive with a good grace and a thankful heart. Nobody should feel they 'can't accept' a gift. Beautifully intentioned and sent with love. Whether you spend £5 or £50 the intention and reaction should be the same.

Chipping, that is a fair point. I didn't realise mnhq matched up in that way.

I agree with wembley.

I don't think it needs changed at all, it's a lovely idea. It is also something that adults take part in. The whole throwing-toys-out-pram-cos-I-wasn't-nominated is really childish.

As is frequently posted on here, only put in to MN what you're prepared to loose.

I like it, even though I've never actually taken part

(BTW, how do MNHQ match donors and nominees? Do they take account of why someone was nominated, look at their posting history to match major £££voucher donors with the neediest nominees, or token gifts for someone nominated just because they made someone smile?)

MASSIVE xpost!

Self nomination sounds gross

Doubt it will be here next year.

I think I've done it wrong

I didn't put an amount on the donate Voucher thingie.

It will be here next year, Exit.

Right, Justine?

The Appeal really should stay. The process gives a great deal of pleasure to recipients and donors alike.

Actually, the info at the very top of the page about the Appeal, did call it a secret santa, although I don't think that would be a wise working title, as the concept would then really have overtones of being "included" or "left out".

There is obviously some issue with the semantics of using "Appeal" in the title, due to the strong influence of Charity Appeals - perhaps people have come to see the word only in the light of charity to those in financial need rather than the broader context? However, you can always post the dictionary definition of "Appeal" at the top of the post!!

All of the upset could probably have been avoided if people understood that this is not about feeling left out if you were not nominated, anymore than one would feel left out for not receiving an Oscar nomination.
Perhaps using bold to state that inclusion is not a default position but is SOLELY because someone felt that the nominees contribution to MN had touched their heart (in whatever way).
or just use shorthand, and say "don't get entitled over this, folks"

It really would be ludicrous to allow people to nominate themselves. Totally defeats the concept. Unless everyone is happy for nominations to read : I put myself forward for being a really helpful individual and cheering myself up !!!!

And while I am here.... and to whoever is having to handle the project this year And to whoever is handling all the flak!!

Justine - any chance that you could re-open the nomination thread for 24 hours in light of these conversations? I know timings are tight, but it seems there are a lot of people who would have chosen to nominate if they had known about it.

Maybe with some extra highlighting across the boards?!!

Already been asked. Already said no

I think my idea of it being for those in need stems from when it started. I've been here about 9.5yrs so I'm no newbie and I'm fairly sure that even after the first year in response to the collapse, the following few yrs were in much the same vein.

So I'm surprised at so many people saying it never has been an appeal to help MNetters struggling at this time of year.

Thank you for this thread - it has reminded me to get involved again.

Please don't change it. I love reading the Christmas Thank You thread. I also like playing detective and trying to work out who the recipient is to make the message a little more personal.

(I would also like a Secret MNer appeal - a where have you gone / what are you called now for some old friends Not a Moldy type re-awakening, just those who have slipped off and are missed. I would like to send a lot of those a card).

Bof, we'll be lucky if we're allowed Christmas next year at this rate, never mind the appeal.

And Christmas Eve on Mumsnet is one of my most favourite things EVER.

I don't care if people think I'm sad it really is.

People slightly tipsy getting lured into the NORAD Santa tracking threads and occasional posting WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING THIS FOR?

The demented posts of mothers and fathers in the early hours because the dc's still aren't asleep.

The inebriated posts.

The show offs in other continents for who it's already Xmas.

The confessional threads where someone's child will be missing the curly wurly from the mornings selection box.

The general cosiness of the site, the quiet hand holding and stealth hugs for those finding it hard. Mumsnet always seems a little smaller and a little closer together, the night before Xmas.

I do so love it very much.

Yes, Milliways! MNersReunited!

You know, I think some people are confusing this with giving to charity.

Charity with a Capital C, like my Granny used to do.

Which involved sticking her nose in it carefully checking to see if the Poor were just Poor or Deserving Poor.

Having ascertained they were DP and not just P, a carefully chosen donation was made, ensuring that they would stay poorer than her Fairly Poor but enough that they would become the Grateful Deserving Poor.

They then had to thank her, becoming the Grovelling Grateful Deserving Poor.

FFS.

Could next year the nomination thread be highlighted in, say, flourescent pink with orange spots?, I stumbled upon it at the last moment, otherwise I wouldnt have found it.

Ooo I didnt realise Sandy matched the noms and the doms, thats vair impressive as I wondered if people who needed a small financial boost would recieve bubble bath and some who made someone laugh got a voucher.

Dont change it, I think the majority of people get it, and even if it was changed you`d never please everyone. As someone upthread said, we are talking small gifts to make someone smile.

Whereas I always thought the Mumsnet thing was "A Bit Of Fun To Cheer People Up". People who are nice and supportive, and people who are having a shit time.

No poverty, deserving or otherwise involved.

Mumsnet and Mumsnetters are involved in Charity giving in many ways throughout the year.

THE CHRISTMAS APPEAL IS NOT A CHARITY.