Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

Well, it's been bit of a week, hasn't it?

And we don't know about you but we think it's time folks outside MN knew a bit more about the lovely side of Mumsnet. All this stuff about harridans and vipers' nests kinda feels a bit lopsided to us - and is certainly making us pull on our Uggs and want to redress the balance a bit.

We're really chuffed to see such kind words about MN on Talk at the moment and also to see blogs like MmeLindor's that focus so beautifully on the "other side" of Mumsnet.

But we also want to publish, for all the world and the odd tabloid journo to see, a kinda showcase/archive of all the Lovely & Nice Things Mumsnetters Have Done over the years. And we'd really like your help with that, please.

Obviously, we have lots of Mumsnet Loveliness in mind already: ranging from Woolly Hugs to the Christmas Appeal and including everything from the lost toy on Blackpool Pier to the small acts of kindness shown every day from one MNer to another in need of help, advice or support.

But we really want you to tell us, too, about the Lovely Things you've seen (or taken part in) on Mumsnet. Please post them here - with links to the threads if you possibly can.

We'll read them all and, when we've run out of tissues, we'll publish some of your favourites for all the world to see.

Oh, and here's a pic of (warm and lovely) nest of vipers, courtesy of the fab women behind Woolly Hugs, to kinda set the tone

You're never alone with Mumsnet.
If you need a hand to hold, someone will arrive to help.
If its a kick up the arse you need, someone will be there to give it to you.
Mumsnet is a beacon of light and hope when everything around you is falling apart.
Viva Mumsnet.

Well, small in the grand scheme of things, but...

MN helped me find my doula, which enabled me to face DD2's birth positively after a horrid time with DD1.

Slightly cryptic, but I was able to help someone out with something quite small, but which they couldn't afford and was important. She didn't ask, but I felt I could offer.

MN has helped me find somewhere I can talk about feminist issues without being considered a nutter. And to vent my frustrations on RL experiences.

I don't post a huge amount, mainly because there are so many wise people on here who get there first and say things so much better than I could, but the support, advice and humour is fantastic.

DS is 19mo and even just through mainly lurking I have found invaluable advice about bf, weaning, sleep etc, far more useful than any baby book as there is such a range of experience and opinions.

sorry if it has been mentioned, but I have been off-line for a couple of days, and i have just read Trazzles thread about her little boy with cancer and then saw this one. If that thread wasn't the epitomy of all that is good about mn I don't know what is.

I joined mn 10 years ago. I was living in central asia with a new baby and no other ex-pat mums nearby.

Several times mn saved my sanity as I asked basic questions, received kind helpful answers and actually felt I wasn't so isolated and alone in this whole parenting thing.

4 mc in a country where mc is treated with a shrug of the shoulders, sent me to my keyboard to find people to hold my hand and tell me I'm not an idiot for crying, and to ask the practical stuff.

As I have hit the hard bits of parenting, mn has helped as I have found others who have hit the same hard bit and can give support (AARRGGHH yes we have been there too) and gentle advice (time to change tactics). And sometimes, just made me laugh.

And some of the cutting edge viper stuff? Well, it has made me think, and sometimes change my mind, got me out of my comfort zone and forced me to understand other peoples shoes a bit.

So, so many wonderful threads. I think all the "big" ones have been mentiones. Pink Peter, Mile for Maude, Ailidh, OJ's dh, Trinity's dh (who by the way I still think of as being able to ride a bike with no hands) and the collective cleaning and sorting help she had afterwards. The woman looking after a tiny breast fed baby when the mum went into hospital. She needed to get her hands on some formula as the poor baby was getting hungry and she had nothing to give him. SO many more, I could go on forever!

MN is supportive. If someone is having a tough time then a bunch of women will appear at her door with chocolate, wine, buckets and mops.

MN isn't just about big, well known threads though. There are small pockets of support too, the ante and post natal groups for example where some of us have made good, long term friends. The student parent threads where when deadlines looms you can arrange to go and write 500 words and meet back at a given time for a 5 min chat, compare progress and get a kick up the bum.

the thread where mumsnetters all over the country hunted down spiderman jammies so three boys could have matching ones for Christmas!

I suffered terrible fear and trauma after the birth of my first child, even though it was called a text book birth, and I suffered nothing out of the ordinary, a small tear, all very short compared to most first timers.

However I felt my luck had been used up and I was terrified that if that was a good birth - what if something went wrong? I really wanted an ELC but even then was un sure what that entailed.

I found MN by sheer chance when pregnant and all the information I needed to speak to the consultants, the facts, figures, arguments, were on here then amazing threads about how to prepare and cope for after the operation, the people who recovered v quickly those who had it harder.

All of it for me meant I welcomed my second DC into this world much calmer and informed than I would have been without MN. I would have been lost without it and think there are very many wonderful ladies on here.

love it, the support and especially the humour. Who could stay down when there's a yoni thread to read

Well, just today I was feeling a bit nervous about the prospect of exercising again and started a thread about running and whether I would be ridiculed. It's an example of Aibu at its finest-turns out I won't be ridiculed by anyone on mumsnet anyway and I instantly had advice on sports bras for the well endowed runner. Can't link-useless- but it's active.

And I love the honesty here-you can generally trust what people say to be the truth.

Oh and fwiw, I'm a big girl and I don't need some uninformed outsider to protect me from other posters. I found that side of this week's events patronising frankly - as if a couple of celebs who are pissed off that some on mumsnet take a view on their life choices have more say than a colourful collective of women and men of all ages, political persuasions and life experiences. So there.

One of my very first threads, after a long time lurking, was to rant about how some lowlife had just stolen my buggy from outside my house. I said on there that the thing upsetting me most was that dd1s very first baby blanket had been in the basket and of course now that was gone too :( A wonderful kind mnetter pm'd me to say she made blankets and if I gave her a description she would like to make dd another one. I was so touched by the kindness of this total stranger, and every time I use her blanket I am reminded that for every idiot in the world there is also someone totally lovely.

The spiderman pyjamas thread - that was a good one.

And the fact that you can post any kind of embarrassing-bodies, TMI style problem and someone will come and share their experience and encourage you.

For Zombie it's the whole package that is MN. The support, the friendships, the laughs, the bunfights - they all play a part.

She is and will be eternally grateful for the support she has received over the past 18 months or so. She's shared many of the challenges life has put in her path during that time and has been met with unfailing kindness and support. There are other things she's not shared but for which she's also received support by reading threads started on similar situations by those with far more courage than she will ever have.

Several people have mentioned community and that really does sum it up.

Thanks to all of you.

I'm an immigrant in the UK and I really wanted something special made in the traditional New Zealand way for my DS when he was born - they are knitted shoes with fluffy in the inside leather on the outside sheepskin soles.

I started a thread and with help from the awesome googling powers of MNers worked out that they are really expensive in the UK! I had to decide to get some shipped from home when a very kind MNer pm'd me to say she had some she'd been given and never used.

She sent them to me, and wouldn't accept any money for them.

It's such a little thing, but it was so kind and so thoughtful and I LOVED those shoes.

So, gabity. Thank you very much. DS wore them pretty much everyday!

I'd like to add that what's so bloody brilliant about MN is exactly that it's chock full of women with strong opinions and varied interests. I've had conversations I never would have otherwise, and thought about things I'd always seen as black and white.

I found out my DD was lactose intolerant at 4yrs old (and when I look back, has been since birth!) because a poster suggested I cut out dairy and see what happened with her issues.

I am so passionate about rights for disabled people - particularly SEN like Autism because of some amazing threads and posters who are so open and honest about how difficult it is.

There are so many things others have posted that I'm nodding along to.

The humour is just phenomenal. I was having a bit of a rough day when Annunzita posted her thread about being asked to pick which of her children to take to her brothers wedding - and I bet she was too, and the responses are just so funny.

MN is a brilliant place to be cheered up when life is a bit shite.

This thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1731490-Can-someone-please-explain-the-care-system-to-me?pg=

is amazing. Someone asks for information, lots of people contribute, some very sad things within it, lots of people have more knowledge anf at the end of it someone wants to be a foster carer.

Bloody wonderful.

Oh and even most of AIBU isn't that bad, it might kick off sometimes but generally when the AIBU is something like 'aibu for thinking that people who do X are dreadful?' and the OP gets -flamed- helpful opinions about not being judgey, so really you could look on that as being supportive to people who do X.

Admittedly I've never started an AIBU, (no need, I know I'm always reasonable)

Oops strikethrough fail

TeWi's mention of "cheered up when life is a bit shite" made me think of this recent gem in AIBU:

OP: Some woman nearly sat at my table in a cofee shop and I nearly had to share with her and her mummy friends. But she didn't, and I didn't.

All posters:

MrsKoala: "i've got a top tip to avoid just this problem. next time smear shit all over your face and no one will want to share your table.
You're welcome."

I kept laughing when remembering it for a good week!

Sorry for the hijack here: thanks mrsdevere, yes I'm home came home the same day as Alex. He's a whopping 6 lbs now, hungry and awake all the time he's off oxygen completely and his brain scans/organ function tests etc are all clear.
I'm doing well, still pretty weak but being home is amazing. They are pretty sure I'm permanently paralysed down my right side/leg, my arm works but not much else but Alex is SO worth that

I've read some amazing things on here.

It cheers me up.
It helps me remember that the world isn't full of selfish fuckers.
It makes me smile.

It makes me feel part of a community.

Mumsnetters held my virtual hand across the ocean two years ago when my waters broke prematurely while I was in the US. I will never forget their kindness and the courage they gave me. They saw me through the the terror, the worry and the sheer boredom of seven weeks on bedrest. I am eternally grateful (DS is doing brilliantly by the way )

It might not be everyone's cup of tea but then you can't please everyone can you? Personally I love it and long may it continue.

In february 2005 mners persuaded me to attend a scan, despite the heavy snow and the fact that my bleeding had stopped. I was rushed into theatre with an ectopic pregnancy, dh posted on here for me, to tell my friends. The following day I lost consciousness and there was blood all over the floor and my bed, turns out that during my cs, when I had my ds, they had shoved my bladder into the wrong place (!) and the surgery to remove the ep had resulted in my bladder being nicked. Cue major abdominal surgery, it all got a bit hairy. The following day a bunch of flowers and card arrived, from mners. And another. And another. When I finally got home another bunch arrived and more cards. Mners have supported my through 12 of my 14 mc's, the ep, severe depression and various issues from a disasterous hairdo to huge marital problems. I have been here for 7 years, I have made several friends offboard, met many mners in person and I owe you all so much. If you are a twat, mners will tell you so, but if you need support, they will give it. Not everyone gets mumsnet, but that's fine, there are many sites that I don't get. Noone forces us to be here, and the press forgets that.

Can't think of much to add to the above. This is an amazing life enhancing place, an encyclopedia, support network, sounding board, which offers friendship, common sense and wit 24-7. Love it.