Vipers' nest? Come counter our hissy rep with your stories of Mumsnet Niceness

[HelenMumsnet]

Hello.

Well, it's been bit of a week, hasn't it?

And we don't know about you but we think it's time folks outside MN knew a bit more about the lovely side of Mumsnet. All this stuff about harridans and vipers' nests kinda feels a bit lopsided to us - and is certainly making us pull on our Uggs and want to redress the balance a bit.

We're really chuffed to see such kind words about MN on Talk at the moment and also to see blogs like MmeLindor's that focus so beautifully on the "other side" of Mumsnet.

But we also want to publish, for all the world and the odd tabloid journo to see, a kinda showcase/archive of all the Lovely & Nice Things Mumsnetters Have Done over the years. And we'd really like your help with that, please.

Obviously, we have lots of Mumsnet Loveliness in mind already: ranging from Woolly Hugs to the Christmas Appeal and including everything from the lost toy on Blackpool Pier to the small acts of kindness shown every day from one MNer to another in need of help, advice or support.

But we really want you to tell us, too, about the Lovely Things you've seen (or taken part in) on Mumsnet. Please post them here - with links to the threads if you possibly can.

We'll read them all and, when we've run out of tissues, we'll publish some of your favourites for all the world to see.

Oh, and here's a pic of (warm and lovely) nest of vipers, courtesy of the fab women behind Woolly Hugs, to kinda set the tone

Someone mentioned pixieonaleaf- she was so helpful and knowdfeable on the asthma threads, and her advice that if you can't sing the first line of twinkle twinkle go to the hospital helped so many dc. I hope she is ok and about under a name change.

I never ever thought I'd need to use the miscarriage board. But I did, and received fantastic support from a small group of others (particularly Geekster and Bridget) who have been/were going through the same thing. One day, I hope to be strong enough to go in there and offer support myself.

Don't even know where to start. There are so many acts of random (and not so random) kindness....

Woolly Hugs (need I say more?); advice on any and all subjects - some life-saving, some trivial; support following miscarriages, bereavements, break-ups, job loss; celebrations of good times....

A whole cross section of life.

As well as having received good advice, I hope I've also helped others on occasion with my own advice/experience.

I've made real life friends through MN - lovely, warm hearted and generous women who have made my life richer through knowing them.

I'm glad I'm part of this nest of vipers.

I can only echo everything on this thread.

From the moment I stumbled on this nest, 6 years ago (fuckin 'ell) there hasnt been a day where I havent been on here.

I have howled with laughter at threads that are now in Classics (check out the British Gas one. Followed that one live as it were and omg was the whole way through)

Been to meet ups...organised meet up and the pure joy at meeting mners was great.

Im even off to see Muse with a mner in May < v excited

All I can say is my life is better, richer and more rounded becase of MN. I have met some amazing friends... And I couldnt imagine not having them in my life. I couldnt imagine not having this fantastic place to come to...to read and laugh, weep, rejoice, applaud and inform.

I fucking love you all. YOU, yes you, reading this, make us what we are.

Massive love to you all and cunt offs if you don't like us.

I've sobbed my way through these.

I will be eternally grateful to all of the lovely ladies on the spoons thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/1723265-Spoons-Support-for-those-with-chronic-pain-fatiguing-illnesses especially the wonderful grockle who not only started the thread but sends cards and gifts to cheer us all up despite going through a pretty rough time herself. We listen to each other moan and cry without judging which is something rarely found in rl.

I remember a thread in Dec where people listed things they no longer wanted and sent them to other mumsnetters, in some cases meaning children who probably wouldn't have got Christmas presents had something to open on Christmas morning.

The threads in the dogs house where mnetters drive miles to take in a dog that for whatever reason the owner can no longer keep.

I love mumsnet for the wit and humour and sometimes downright insane threads that make my days just a little brighter.

Most of all I love the sense of community that a group of strangers bring into my life and I'm proud to be a part of mumsnet.

Ah lovely thread.

I came here a long time ago. But I really NEEDED to be here in 2011, when my other half left me. I was so distraught - having lymphoma as well and my daughter suffering from health issues...I didn't think I could cope and I really didn't want to continue my life.

The women here helped me so very much. I received dozens of private messages - some even offering to come round to visit. Genuine, strong, wise women - with some ballbreaking advice too. Made me cry, made me laugh, made me better.

You know who you all are - some of you had stories of your own too.

Mumsnet is a damn fine place. I will be forever grateful.

And SGM wants to thank in particular HelenMN for the support she gave during one of the sadly unnecessary difficult times in FWR.

I wish to god I had been on MN when my baby stopped moving late in pregnancy, I was too frightened to seek help and by the time I got to hospital she was in a bad way. The hospital then cocked up the delivery by not moving faster to save her and she was left in NICU in a coma with severe brain damage. I've watched (and sometimes give) advice on threads where people need to trust their instinct and just seek help.

I've followed and wept for Bea and the tea set, I've sent love and thoughts to other babies going through tough times and I've learnt so so much.

On the flip side I've changed my housekeeping thanks to the fly lady threads, my washing machine sparkles and my bathroom is ready for my MIL no matter how little notice she gives. And I've figured out we are only human and there are only so many hours in the day!

I've learnt confidence as well, and responsibility for my own happiness, how to value my small family and put work life balance into perspective, as well as put old bad relationships into the past.

MN rocks. I've had my share of pasting and I've seen some bat shit crazy threads but theres nothing quite like spending two hours getting small child to sleep knowing there are loads of others in the same boat!

Oh and what brought me to MN was a thread about toddler art. I cried with laughter then I registered.

Lone voice in the wind, but it's not always sweetness and light is it.....

God forbid you question vaccines, think alternative therapies might have their place or are fat on style and beauty.....

Just out of interest I did a search of what I would call some of the more abrasive posters and none of them have posted on here yet. I am convinced that MN is serving 2 sorts , those who want support,and to be supporting,and those who want debate (some of it 'robust' ). Some crosses over and both are equally valid. However I am convinced it would be better to separate the two in a more marked way and it would cause less upset - especially to the unwary. It would also ensure that journalists didn't immediately tap into the parts they could find fault with. Personally I enjoy the lively debate, even though it gets heated. I am fascinated by the wide range of views.

But as far as the debates then often there are antagonists on 'both' sides of the coin, kinda like hooligans at football matches, there is always someone seeking out a bunfight.

MistyB has a point. I know to keep off vaccines, last time it was so bad that some kind people pmed me to support.
There are certain things I know to keep off- it may only be strangers on the Internet but my skin isn't hard enough for some subjects.

Mmm, the hooligans can put those wanting to make their point off joining in the debate though...

PS I am not a fat, non vacc, alternative hippy though. I am just a faceless name on the Internet.

The wonderfully generous ladies on the breast cancer thread who helped through one of the most terrifying periods of my life.

A few that haven't been mentioned that come to mind. The support for OnlyJoking as she lost her dh, the support over the past 9 months for Lou, since the chunt left her (and all the cards and gifts being sent for her ds), the support Starsandstripes (?) got when posting asking if SWBU asking her dh to pick up a loaf of bread and some milk on the way home from work - and the subsequent support as she left him and started afresh. And TwoTeachers (?) with the shopkeeper in Derbyshire, SleepingwiththeEnemy, and so many hundreds of others besides.

Others mentioned above include the support for TrinityRhino, GentleOtter, CupOfTea.

The woolly hugs, the secret santas. The stately homes threads. On a sillier note, the support for Shiny and the penguin set-up.

But more than that. The support for the hundreds of lurkers (self included) who never or rarely post, but who gain so much from the knowledge and wisdom that is Mumsnet.

The fact, as others have pointed out, that no matter who posts, no matter what the situation is (yoni's excepted ), somebody has experience, someone has advice, and help will be given, whether it is your 1st post, or 10,001st post.

There is only one area which seems to fit the criteria of a nest of vipers, and I often have to sit on my hands reading stuff in there because people do come in for such a mauling so often. But the one area is extremely unrepresentative of Mumsnet as a whole.

I have given MNHQ my views. They haven't replied as yet. I know they don't want censorship, and I agree with them there, but they do get it wrong sometimes and end up making mistakes - mainly because they can't really work out who is a troll and who isn't.

But that one area is the one that is taken to represent MN, aGlassHalfEmpty- and that is the sad part of it.

I have had fantastic support when pregnant after a miscarriage, when DS3 wasn't gaining weight and I was coming under pressure from HCPs to stop breastfeeding (thank you TikTok among others), and when DH was diagnosed with cancer and my MIL was being even more difficult than usual I remember a couple of mumsnetters checking up on how things were going weeks and months later.

Although it isn't on the same scale, I have read a couple of amazing books that I only picked up as a result of threads on here and learned a lot about how different (and difficult) many people's lives are which I hope has made me less judgemental.

Exotic - how do you know for sure that one or more on your list haven't already posted though?

This thread started today- I did a search and they have posted today, but not on here- that isn't to say they won't.

exotic - I know that all too well, and as you say, that is the sad part of it. I have lurked here for years (as some of my list may show ) and that is such a small part of the whole place.