what's this PO stuff all about? I have just read some really vile stuff on here....

[Portofino]

Women presumably who don't have a certain sense of humour, or don't agree with certain (long standing) posters being described as beige admin workers who nag their ugly husbands, who were friendless at school, wear cheap clothes, have no fun in their sad little joyless lives etc etc Literally paragraphs and paragraphs of nastiness.

This is some of the most vile and misogynistic stuff I have ever read on MN from other women. These kind of comments normally come from trolls and MRA invasions. Is this really what MN has become? Does everyone think that this sort of shit should stand? What happened to the fucking sisterhood?

I am astounded to be quite honest.

I agree with portofino in general, although have reported about a dozen PA against LeQueen, not because she may be offended, but because it's not on.

yes, PO and po does get thrown at posters on here quite a lot, when the poster was doing nothing other than supporting values around being 'humane' and sensitive. So fwiw I'd agree with everything said by mcballs, cest, catmint and seeker among others.

I have nooo idea who LaQueen is, but those posts on that thread were pretty sneery and unpleasant at people/other posters who she assessed aren't as well-blessed in life as she. Which is very not in the spirit of this site and porto is on firm ground to actually point this out.imo

Speaking as someone who's had her fair share of personal attacks, I am simultaneously grateful and irritated when people report them. Grateful for obvious reasons- but irritated because the deletions often make the thread incomprehensible. And the attacks usually say more about the attacker than the attackee. Unless the attackee has been a dick, and deserves it. In both cases, the attack should stay. IMHO.

Me too Seeker. I never report attacks against me because I think people reveal themselves for good and bad through their posts but I report attacks when others seem to be taking a bashing or seem upset.

I personally hate sweary thread. I like a decent profanity but not just relentless swearing so I tend to avoid threads that become about that. But I eouldn't report them just because I don't like them. I think it is the reporting of stuff just because it isn't your thing is the stuff that irritates tbh.

Well not reporting has advantages but does affect the culture of the site, and others with miserable intent get the message that it's a 'free for all'.

I agree, this all kicked off because some of us were footling around on Hully's spoon thread, and for some bizzarre reason, posts on it were reported and she was asked to cool it.
Cool what? What on earth was there on the original spoon thread that could have distressed anyone enough to report it>
FWIW, as I said, way back, I could feel horribly got at as I am and have done numerous things that MN regularly take the piss out of, or attack. I also don't join in a lot of threads that don't appeal to me. But most of them should have the right to exist without people getting harumphy about sporners or Wolefs or bumsex.
What harm was there in the spoon thread?
All the rest of the nastiness seems to have grown from that humble beginning.

Only if you assume that not reporting means not reacting to it at all.

With the cat thread I mentioned further upthread , I posted along the lines that the OP did not do nothing to justify being called vile and the comments about her being cruel to her children were mawkish guff.
So no, it doesn't necessarily leave the site as a free for all.
It is possible to openly call people on their behaviour and discuss it.

Did not do nothing?

Fucking hell. Crimes against language.

There was no harm in the spoon thread, absolutely none - but also nothing really happened did it? It wasn't deleted. An email was sent out. That's it.

The nastiness on that thread is just what it is. It wasn't 'caused' by anyone or anything.

Absolutely, Pagwatch- I agree. Not with the language mangling, obviously!

Ideally so pag, and it would be great if all of that works in reality. But pa often invites shit-stirrers and the terminally bored to 'pile in'.
I didn't see much of the cat thread, but I did wonder why she had to post about the incident when she knew he was BU. But cruel to children? Wow. Some people must have traveled quite a long way to get there!

I think there is a 'running to teacher' tendency on here and it irritates me as I think these issues should be taken up on the thread - not deleted as if we should be protected from what that person has said.

I also have come across the PO in a true sense - I remember a thread where a woman was relating how she had been castigated for standing up at a rock concert - the folk behind couldn't see. I remarked the complainers were unreasonable fir siting down at a gig. I then got a response along the lines of: "well what about people in wheelchairs you disablist nazi" and when I defended myself was told I was " defensive" -it's Kafka-esque on here sometimes. It's also hot nothing to do with the rights of disabled people, it's about some posters exerting power over a thread.

I get indirectly called PO quite often. There's a difference between offended and professionally offended. A lot of people pretend they don't know the difference just as a rubbish form of defence.

And it's the professionally Unoffended who really piss me off!

I think terms like professionally offended or unoffended are meaningless. They are simply labels for views that you don't agree with.

I wonder if we could ban the word Po or have a consensus on what it actually means?

It has just got to the stage where it is being used to describe anyone who doesn't agree/share a sense of humour. Rather than, what I took it to mean, people who go about looking for posts to report, because they are trying to piss off people/goad.

I agree with you seeker re the reporting of/deleting personal attack posts.

I have had some really nasty posts to me and they have been removed due to others reporting them, I've even emailed MNHQ to say I'd rather they stayed! But once reported as they break T&Cs they have to go.

Also I've had stuff deleted that while I accept broke T&Cs weren't that bad, but once deleted it could seem as though they were worse than they actually were.

If I post something that warrants deletion, I'd rather it stay and would be happy to either explain my self to objectors or apologise if I was out of order. But rules is rules I suppose.

MissA, that thread was a response to the initial response to the spoon thread.
It was begun by someone who felt that the site was no longer open to rambling jokes and general meandering, that others were setting norms of propriety for no good reason.
The response may have become OTT, but it's disingenuous to think that it sprang fully-formed from thin air.

Well I'd like to thank Porto for this thread. I think it's largely been civil and adult. I recognise its been perceived as aggressive towards one person but that has followed a cut and paste so it's only the words that the person wrote that has drawn that response.

I think Pan's remark of being humane and sensitive sums it up for me. I often post in a flippant way or more outspoken than I am face to face -think that is fairly common for a forum and tbh part of the joy of online communication. Freed from the responsibility of having to meet 'Jane' at the school gates and smile daily, you can be honest with her and say 'yes you're being silly' over whatever.

However I always always like to think that I remember there is a person behind that computer and whilst robust exchange is good you never know what is going on in their life or what has led them to this site.

TBH I agreed with Hully on that point and still do but nobody 'made' anyone post the OTT stuff. We're all responsible for what we post on here. I don't think that's disingenuous.

But PO has been used to describe people who point out that something is offensive, as if there is something wrong with that?

I take PO/ professionally offended to mean people who take offence/point out offensiveness over something that doesn't personally concern them.

I don't like that because I don't see standing up for something even though it doesn't affect you as being wrong.

PO is what is said to people who interrupt others having a pop at certain groups/people etc. It is said as they don't like their unreasonableness being pointed out. So you get shouted down with 'PO' and called joyless.

IME/IMO.

...And yes, again I agree with seeker re the professionally UNoffended!

Its almost like some think its 'cool' to not give a fuck.

PO- nothing wrong with it if used correctly. Some people are PO! As some people are PU

It's when it's used to dismiss a viewpoint (as an unqualified statement) rather than a debate about why something is offensive

It should be POIMO or perhaps POIMPO

Think that ship has sailed QuickLookBusy.

I agree with your view of what PO was intended to mean (at least when i have seen it used) posters deliberately looking for reasons to report and complain out of dislike/goadiness/mean spiritedness/mischief making.
But I think a swathe of people now think it was intended to mean something else.

It is going to be endlessly linked in some people's minds with professionally offended. Which was never the intention I think.