What do you wish you had known before you had your DC? Tell us for your chance to win a copy of Why Did Nobody Tell Me?: Home Truths Every Parent Needs to Know.

[RebeccaMumsnet]

Hello. This week we published Why Did Nobody Tell Me?: Home Truths Every Parent Needs to Know, which is the paperback version of The Mumsnet Rules.

And we wanted to mark its publication and nudge you towards a bookstore with a small but perfectly formed competition-ette.

For those who don't already know, Why Did Nobody Tell Me? is full of common sense and good cheer to steady you during the trickier patches of child-wrangling - told from the perspective of those who've been there, worn the (puree-splattered) T-shirt, and more or less emerged in a fit enough state to boggle at the PFB madnesses of their early parenting days.

So, what we're asking you wise folks now, in a competition-y way, is to tell us what you wish you'd known before you had children.

Please post your "in hindsight" confessions/admissions/witticisms here. We'll pick out ten winners from all who post - and send each of them a spanking new copy of Why Did Nobody Tell Me?

Good luck!

That labour does NOT feel like severe period pain, labour pain is in another stratosphere.

The NCT lady had her kids ages ago and is a sado-masochist. You will NOT end up having a c-section if you have an epidural. Honestly, take the drugs.

Your nips will burn like buggery for a few weeks when you start breatfeeding. One day, it'll stop.

Put your baby down in his cot and let him get to sleep. He may grizzle for a little while, but in the long run he will be happy and a better sleeper than if you waste copious hours rocking him and/or pushing prams around. Seriously, you are doing yourself and the baby a favour if you get this sorted a few weeks after birth.

Some sort of routine is a good thing and not the work of the devil. I never thought I would say that.

that my bossoms would get reallt really really sore when the milk was downloading........and then leaked all over the place for a few weeks.

I had to sleep wrapped in a towel because it was milk city

When your toddler is playing nicely DO NOT make the mistake of thinking 'Oh I will just make that quick 'phone call'. Using the 'phone is a siren call to toddlers (and 6 and 7 year olds!!). As soon as you lift the receiver to your ear they will be round you like a fly round the proverbial.

That kids are all different - noone has ever had a baby exactly like yours and no book can tell you how to look after him or her the way a car manual might. Doctors know an awful lot less than you might think and you need to learn to trust your instincts. That yours will be the most adorable fascinating kids anyone has ever had. That they are as individual as any adult in terms of personality as soon as they can communicate. That they DO cry for a reason, usually for food or tiredness. That you'll not leave the house for years without a portable snack and water. And that having kids makes life make sense.

:o pospypie - this blog discusses the law of volume control in relation to importance of phone call :o

You won't have a lie in for a very. Very. VERY. Long. Time.....

That if you have a baby boy, when changing his nappy, open it, let air get to his bits and cover him up again (to catch the fountain of wee). THEN when putting a clean nappy on, kind of fold his willy pointing down, otherwise you will be left wondering why his tummy is so wet every five minutes and need to go out and buy more babygros as all the other wee soaked ones are in the wash...

(obviously you don't really FOLD a willy, but you see my point...!)

Children are not plants - they all grow at different rates.

And child rearing is not a competition - but not everyone is aware of that

Due to time constraints, you will learn to have an orgasm in about 10 seconds flat

At 29 weeks, this may just be the most useful of the far too many thread I've read!

That babies learn to smile at the exact point you're thinking of taking them back to the hospital and asking for a refund. Then everything is suddenly better.

That trying to make friends with people that only have the fact you have children of a similar age is just a road to heartache. You need other things in common too, no matter how much others the HV band on about how important that is and how amazing the local baby group is (oh how much time I wasted with my eldest trying to make that work. It was a very bad match. Still don't have any close friends with kids, but I do have friends who are lovely to mine and to me which I think works just as well!).

That parenting doesn't really get easier as your children grow up, however every stage is wonderful in its own way, and it is worth remembering that they will only be that particular age once.

That you need to be prepared to change your ideas about parenting constantly as they grow, be open minded, willing to accept when something just isn't working and to seek advice if necessary. Being a parent is a massive learning curve and (to quote shameless) most of us are just winging it!

That when you see all the 4yo On their first day of reception, you have no idea which ones were breastfed and which were formula fed.

Baby poo is one of the most toxic substances known to man. It will not wash out or fade. So, save yourself some money and buy supermarket sleepsuits and save the cute outfits for 3 months plus.

Sleep bags are amazing, buy one (or two)! Blankets and sheets are a faff and once your baby starts to wiggle they are pointless.

Dummies are not a tool of the devil.

Also.....

Get shares in smarties when potty training.

Oh.....

And if you've had a c-section, and then subsequently get an in-utero infection needing mega antibiotics AFTER finishing the antibiotics for your mastitis, and you are STILL trying to breast feed with one Jordan-esque boob and express from the mastitisy fried egg like boob AND run to the toilet to projectile vomit because of the antibiotics.....

Don't scream like a banshee when your husband 'has' to go to work. The sympathy won't come your way

Like others have said, do try and teach your child to nap in a cot during the day. However, if your child is determined not to do so then please don't sit there, under the gimlet gaze of the HV who suggested this, while he shakes the entire Moses basket with indignant rage. Because when you finally admit defeat and pick up your, now purple faced, child he will have given himself an umbilical hernia which won't disappear for three months and you will stare at it during every nappy change, clothing change and bath and wish you'd gone with your gut instinct and picked him back up immediately.

Just because someone tells you they have raised three children doesn't make them an expert on parenting. My DM and GM raised twelve children between them, and they were shocking at it. Don't be afraid to say no and stick to your guns with how you parent your child. After all, you will ultimately have to live with the consequences of it. So it may as well be a choice you have made for yourself .

Just because a toddler or child cries when you tell them off doesn't make you the devil.

the day your child turns round and says 'I hate you' is actually code for 'I love you'

And when you do get to the school run and your good friend walks past you in a daze, don't take it personally. It's more to do with the fact that she's got two children ready with a baby and, the fact she has all her clothes on is a minor miracle

That an awful lot of new parent friends you make tell lies....their babies didn't sleep through the night from day 1, their sex life wasn't unaffected by their new baby, they didn't potty train their 6 month old in 1 day....the list of lies that I didn't realise were lies made me feel wholly inadequate.

That unnecessary stress factors, eg. housekeeping standards, general guilt feelings (I'm not perfect/organic enough) and competitive mums should be guarded against and neutralised mercilessly. That I should beware of competitiveness in myself (it's contagious), the signs being obsessive comparing with others, obsessive milestone checking; checking babies' relative ages to the day/month. In the long run, whether my child walked at 7 months or 17, talked at 5 months or 25, knew the alphabet at 18 months or 5 years is most likely totally meaningless & certainly irrelevant a few months later.
& that money spent on expensive electronic reading or other "educational" aids (leapfrog et al) is wasted - children read when they're ready with just the basics we and the school have to hand - and if they're not ready will learn nothing from the aids.
That children have so far to go and so many changes to live through, so many times, before they are adult we should not be tempted to label them as anything (brainy, sporty, artistic) too early. We'll look back one day and laugh.

Boy toddlers and dogs have lots in common. Sleep them, feed them and wear them out in the park.