Mumsnet depresses me......................................

[ssd]

All I seem to read about is mums who cook loads of great, varied home made meals their kids actually eat, kids who have nutritious, tasty packed lunches with things in it even I wouldn't touch, people who have cleaners and nannies etc etc.

Where are all the ordinary mums who have a battle with their kids most meal times, struggle to get their kids to eat anything other than toast or a ham sandwich, don't cook and freeze in bulk as their tiny freezer is too small, don't plan their homecooked meals a month in advance as life is boring enough without knowing what you@re getting for dinner 2 weeks on Tuesday??

Probably it's just me, maybe everyone else is super and organised and wonderful.

waiting for the flak now, should be coming soon..........

No it's all talk I tell you.

no i am not super and organised,

my children both different, one loves fruit and veg the other one never eats it,

I am a rubbish cook, so they dont really have a brill diet, although i am planning on joining a cookery class!!!!

i just avoid those threads!!!!! everyone is different

I always have to remind myself that everone has their 'thing'.....the 'thing' about motherhod that they like best and that they 'do' very well.

So, for some people it is cooking from scrathch and watching the happy family scrumming the food down.

For some it is delighting in the physical side of a family, footballs, and long walks etc

Some like the 'learning' side of things, and lve to do the homework, make the projects etc.

Most of us have got a 'thing'.

And it would be a very brave mummy who said they were good at it all

I am with you ssd. My dh is away next week and we are going to live off a diet of beefburgers, fish fingers and chicken nuggets cos those are the things all my children will eat without complaining about and I can't go a whole week on my own having daily battles with them over their meals. I don't have a cleaner or a nanny either (I wish!)

I was hoping you were going to say that MN depresses you because of all the relationship break ups and illnesses that are posted about these days. I am sorry for those involved, but I do wish the happy season would restart!

and i have thought about a nanny because i think it would actually be cheaper than my nursery fees, and they might even do a bit of cleaning for my (slave labour if you ask me!)
but i prefer my dd to go to nursery to interact with the other 10 children....

Its all a front, be yourself.............

Don't let it depress you - your kids love you the way you are. I try to be organised with meals and it last about a week and then we have pancakes for tea because there's nothing in the freezer and I didn't get a lunchbreak at work to shop and I forgot on the way home,,, or something like that. Nobody's perfect.

One of the best things someone ever said to me when I was deep in despair at ever living up to the standards of some mums, was "You don't need to be a good mother, you just need to be a good enough mother".

If you measure yourself by the full range of parenting, I always conclude that I'm a good enough mum.

It's like measuring how you look against Kate Moss, or Sophie Dahl!

I think a peep into other people's lives is always going to make you feel envious if you are not happy with the way things are going in your own life. I am a homecooked meals goddess but I have felt jealous of people who have very clean houses, who do loads of activities with their partners and who seem to jet off on holiday all the time .

I don't think there's any point blaming Mumsnet - there is always something or someone to feel jealous of if you are that way inclined. Perhaps use it as an opportunity to identify what you are not happy with in your own life and see what you can do to change things for the better?

ssd I know exactly where you are coming from. Without at all, honest honest honest trying to be controversial, I do find MN very smug at times and avoid all those kinds of threads. I'm sure there are mums who are as wonderful as they sound, but I know there are mums like me as well who are just grateful to any kind of hot food on the table and get through the day without killing one of them..........good for them I say, but good for us as well!!!

I am the most disorganised person in the world, do some realy plan and know what their having for dinner 2 weeks Tuesday, god I dont even know what were having for lunch today. And my children are'nt the healthiest eaters you will find either, my ds who I believe to be food phobic, has a very poor diet, planning on getting some help if possible, however dts will eat anything I put in front of them, but even so, it does'nt mean I give them a portion of veg with each meal, and they love a Mcdonalds every once in a while, and probably eat to much chocolate, does it make me a bad parent???..............NO, it does'nt, my children have a happy secure home life, where they are loved and protected, far more than some children have, so in my mind, that is what is important

Dont let it get you down- we eat on the run some nights coz both me and dh work(me part time)we sometimes just simply dont have the time.
Everyone on MN is different,I know we are with our different ways of doing things.

ssd don't you ever ask yourself why people have to say this stuff?? To be honest it makes me chortle especially when people say orgainic this, organic that, oh and even my piss is organic!

FFs we're all trying to do the best we can!

I tell you a good rulemark to use, do your kids smile and laugh a lot? Mine do and if that's a regular occurence then I'm doing ok in my book

Oh and by the way my house is a shit tip at the moment but I'm going to tackle it today, kids going to grandmas and dh is pulling his weight whether he likes it or not!

I think I might tackle my shit tip today now you come to mention it.

Depressing isn't it But I'm sure I'll feel all smug when it's sparkling!! Nah, I'm dreaming I'd need at least 6 months not an afternoon

I'm really disorganised, but my kids are healthy and happy. The old dear next door who's had tons of kids said, when she heard me hollering at mine for being loud the other day "My dear, a noisy child is a happy child" she's right me thinks!

I agree with Itsthawooluff - being a "good enough" mum is fine (my health visitor said it to me 19 years ago!). I have days when I cook and freeze and feel pretty good about planning ahead - but dd2 aged 4 has eaten noodles for tea for the last 3 days as she has refused my delicious home cooking. And we go out and do things together - and when we don't she watches lots of TV.

Don;t worry my 18 motnhs old is at the moment existing on sandwiches, dairylea dunkers and cucumber, fruit puree, raw pepper, peas, quavers, satsumas and those vile skinless sausages served with alphabites covered in tomato sauce!! - he is lovely cheery and healthy and I really don't care what others think or say - I do try and give him other stuff and will continue doing so but I am not going to make food and eating an issue (I am an x anorexic so thats the last thing I want!!) and it is just him - I treated DD the same and she eats everything that you put in front of her!!

I know a lady who I thought was a right earth mother till she told me yesterday that most days her kids get spaghetti on oast for dinner as she can;t be bothered to cook so I figure that we all are different and kids will eventually eat!

Eh ssd??
I find it to be completely the opposite!
Full of people chortling at how awful they are!

Still,I don't see why reading about people trying to their best should depress you. It doesn't suggest a criticism of the way you do things.

I agree Moondog, mn doesn't depress me. In fact I regularly roflmao at the witty mums and can relate to most on her.

oh ssd!

There are loads of us who dont do the stepford wife bit.

Although, having had a rought time the past few months - so i am quick to post of my successes when i do get them. As are a lot of us - i suppose because it doesnt happen often.

I pay someone else to clean my house, granted. But am a pretty hopeless mother.

Maybe I will make you feel better. I am not at all organised, have 1 DS who will not touch fruit & has crisps as part of his packed lunch every day, have a tiny freezer that just about fits the essentials in, so no room for lots of homecooked meals.
Would love a nanny & someone to do the cleaning & ironing!

Ditto Moondog!