I demand an explanation, MNHQ

[LeB0F]

I am supposed to be getting a new roof put on this weekend, as this one has leaked for ten years and now has bloody pigeons living in it. The roofers should be here by now, and they are not. Probably because it's pissing down, and the forecast says it will continue to do so for approximately the next twelve years.

I know it's your fault. Everything else is.

Do something, or I'm off to netmums.

BOF

nab him
jab him
tab him
grab him
stop that pigeon now!

Pigeons = rats with wings.

HTH.

silly

What's that you say? your roof is worrying you? Mine never does. We work so hard you see.

My DR (dear roof) and I have an amazing relationship entirely based on mutual trust and admiration. It is simply gawjus My DR wouldn't dream of getting a hole in and as for the pigeons i'd be glad of the opportunity to colour match their 50 shades of grey with my farrow and ball walls

Do you think if I snuck a large tray of bacon sarnies with crushed sleeping tablets sprinkled liberally in them out to where they are 'working' they might shut the fuck up?

I think you are projecting onto the roof and over sharing, go to your health visitor and ask for help with your narc personality disorder

Hope this helps x

I hear NetMums has roofs (rooves?) that are all sparkly and covered in unicorn vomit fairy dust.

Some pigeons are actually tiny tiny pedophiles in fancy dress . Tru fact.

Oooh, a nice off the wall thread!

Now, what has Zombie forgotten?

Hmm.....

Ah!

[Bombay Sapphire] [Bombay Sapphire] [Bombay Sapphire] [Bombay Sapphire]

I actually think with your gorgeous body you could carry off a more tapered roof. neon is going to continue to be this season's best colour.
Don't forget to accessories with a slimline chimney.

D you want to see a picture of my new roof. It's gorgeous and cost MUCH more than you could afford

How dare you say roof?

Just what are you implying?

Omg at cooing flying paedos

Nobody got a daily mail roof link?

bof in local rag

and BIWI

I am reporting you to the rspcpigeon. You fucker.

has anyone noticed that the OP hasn't returned? [taps nose]

THE PIGEONS TOOK HER!!!

Ah, I hadn't realized that MNHQ did volcanoes!! The penny has dropped at last.

to you MNHQ. That Icelandic volcano you set off was perfect timing and we had to stay inMalta for an extra week. Please, if I give you the dates, could you if again so we're stuck on holiday again this year?

If the pigeons are bloody I really think someone should call the RSPB.

LeBof standby to hear from injury compensation lawyers shortly.

I really hate pigeons because they park in p&c spaces when they've only got blue badges. Bastard benefit workshy scroungers that they are.