Can we have or do we have a suicide thread policy for how MNetters should respond?

[HeadyEddie]

I've been out and see that the thread that was in Chat has been pulled, before I went out there had been some (I think) useful discussion on what is and isn't appropriate to do in these circumstances.

I can see that there is text at the top of the MH board which links to really useful helplines, but what should/shouldn't individual MNetters do when a worrying thread is posted? Does MN have a policy on it?

For example, lastnight a few posters wanted to get MNetters to link the thread on FB in the hope that someone that could help would see it, which myself and a few others said wouldn't be a good idea, and as far as I know that didn't really happen. If we had some MN guidance then it would be easier for individual posters to see what is the best course of action - even if the policy is just to report to MNHQ, be supportive and link Samaritans.

Bibbity No, I don't like the idea of a sticky either. But MN does have a page called Talk Guidelines, I thought maybe something on there that could be referred to when necessary maybe?

Not done to encourage anyone to post on those threads but to try to dampen the calls for blanket FB/Twatter postings that can really be more trouble than they are worth.

Sorry, I see the sticky idea was to stop the constant bumping. The thing there is that it depends on MN being able to act quickly. I think part of the problem might have been that it was fairly late on a mid-week night so didn't perhaps get the immediate attention it might have done if it had been something like 9pm on a Friday (MNHQ feel free to correct me if wrong).

A thread can only be made a sticky once its been reported and noticed and actioned by MN, in the meantime hysteria can have completely taken over.

I need to clarify a few things.

I did not just post and go to bed. I got in bed with my phone with the intention of talking but the sleeping tablets I had taken combined with the bottle of wine meant I feel asleep and the next thing I knew Plonker was calling me. I was really disorientated and it took me ages to come round properly.

I am truly sorry if I have caused any upset. I am NOT attention seeking though. I'm desperate for some relief from this pain. It is constant and I can't find any way out. I actually do want to end my life. I guess I just don't have the balls to do it.

I'm terrified of being outed now. I know I'm going to have to leave MN and FB because of all this upset I have caused. I was just after help but it seems I have kind of shot myself in the foot.

I really really am sorry.

memoo, please dont do that. we are here to help and support you, but you do need to see your CPN asap.

Oh memoo :( Don't go - you need support. Maybe hide threads like this though?

see, this is the problem, sadly. posters who need support will stop posting, especially when they are having a bad day, because they are scared of the responses and being told they are attention seeking (and lets be honest, aren't we all? noone starts a thread hoping that it wont be seen/get any replies)

this is why we should have guidelines and policy in place.

But I've tried so dam hard today. I've tried to be strong and be a good mum. But then I come on here and some of the comments are just crushing.

I think the other thread was full of good intentions and that should be recognised not treated as ghoulish or rubber necking.

Whether it is the best course of action is a very good question, so thank you to the OP here.

Memoo's reaction to the attention suggests it hasn't helped her. I still wish to reiterate that the people who posted with the best of intentions shouldn't be vilified.

Memoo - this time will end. You will be calm, peaceful and happy again. Please get help. I am terribly sorry that you feel the way you do. Please name change (if you feel you need to) and ask for support through these forums. People do care. Your family and friends would be devastated if you took your life. (I speak from experience of this)

Memoo - it's hard to understand how someone can feel as desperate as you did when you posted that first thread...unless you have been there. That lack of empathy causes the cynicism. Ignore it. It is just cynicism - it''s not about you. They do not know you.

Memoo You say that you are worried about being outed after this, and that is why I think we need some sort of policy. Partly to protect people in your position. Someone in your position might have posted private things that your DH/family don't know about and if well intentioned posters the other night had managed to track you down through the BT phone book or FB or whatever it could cause real problems in RL.

Thats why I'm asking for clarification of some guidelines, because if they had found your proper name on FB and then found you in the phone book a complete stranger could have phoned you.

It might not have been a problem for you necessarily, but someone suffering like you in a domestic violence situation - a call to your house or a FB message to a violent husbands account could be a real problem.

That's fair enough Eddie.

To be honest had this gone on my FB page I would have been devestated. Dd1 and ds are both on my FB as are my parents and sister. The fall out would have been huge.

I think the guidelines already stated by HQ are good. I would offer links to SANE or MIND too. They both have helplines.

I'm going to disappear now and name change.

Thanks for coming back and saying that Memoo, I appreciate it. I know people wanted to help you, but I just wanted to highlight what crashing into someones RL via FB/Twitter/phone could cause real issues for them.

I'm sorry this thread has drawn it out for you but I think we need to know what is appropriate for MNetters to do, because with the best will in the world a blanket FB campaign or similar could cause so much damage. Like you say, the fallout could have been huge.

Apparently, I need to point out that Matches was indeed the first the suggest that MN ought to have a policy on how to deal with suicide threads.

well i don't agree with anyone starting threads threatening suicide, saying goodbye, etc.

tbh I honestly think they should be reported and deleted.

I am not saying the op in this case is genuine or not, but look what it creates. And I don't think it saves lives necessarily. It can create a hell of a lot more trauma for those who inadvertently get drawn into it.

Prepares to be flamed

Heady. Are you kidding? You've actually been asked to announce that ?