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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

mn hq, is it really wise to have topics that are deamed so agressive/scary that most members don't want to post there?

429 replies

wannaBe · 29/08/2011 13:40

have just read a thread in the doghouse topic, and posts from a few posters saying that they never post there due to the agressive responses there.

Now, I know that hiding a topic could always be an option, but is it really in the spirit of mn to have separate topics that are deamed so unwelcoming/agressive that few posters actually want to post there?

I can of course see the need for certain sections, conception/sn/relationships, but it just seems against everything that mn stands for to let a topic exist that is frequented only by a few individuals while the majority feel that the responses there are agressive enough to warrant not feeling comfortable there.

Why can't we just go back to having a pets topic?

OP posts:
Pamplemoussse · 30/08/2011 18:34

good grief

what a bizarre thread this has turned into

I am not an animal owner but if I was I would certainly give the dog house a swerve

Pinot · 30/08/2011 18:36

head/desk

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 18:36

Where were we being bitchy about the Doghouse posters - most of the posts on here have been about the topic, not specific posters.

It is not about specific posts or posters - that is why it is difficult to just report to MNHQ.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 30/08/2011 18:37

---

That's my attempt at head/desk. But it looks more like someone relaxing in the bath.

OverthehillsandfarawayNL · 30/08/2011 18:37

I would think the answer to how old you are would be errrrr.... an age wouldn't it? Or just ignore it. Not respond as you did.

silverfrog · 30/08/2011 18:37

ELNP - I have mentioned my situation before now, on threads (possibly in the doghouse, possibly not - I tend not to notice sections) where it has been appropriate.

I have not been treated kindly.

If I had posted in the doghouse looking for advice on how to rehome my dog, I would not have needed advice on treating dog phobias - we already had some serious help with that, and it was not working, not well enough for the dog to stay with us. dd1 is severely ASD. I could not risk damaging her trust in me. and she was not in a position (then) to be able to work on her phobia.

2 years on, she still canot even see a dog without serious reactions. we have worked on her general animal phobia well, and she can tolerate some animals now. but not dogs.

but your post illustrates another side of the doghouse: if I had posted wanting advice on rehoming, having done everyhting in my power to manage the situation (bearing in mind that you don't know me, or my dd) - why on earth would other posters take it on themselves to assume that I needed help with managing dd1's phobia? that I had not tried every possible thign already? that they know better than me how to handle my dd's issues? (because it was all about handlign my dd, for me, and ensuring she was comfortable, not about my dog) - working on her phobia, with our dog staying with us woudl not have been a viable position - why would people advise me on that when it was not the question I had asked?

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 18:38

intelligence
this was the thread

I don't think she posts on MN any more.

Maryz · 30/08/2011 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 18:40

XP Mary.

Yes, that was the one that shocked me most.

OverthehillsandfarawayNL · 30/08/2011 18:47

I remember that thread - horrible.

Pinot · 30/08/2011 18:48

Those threads don't show MN in a great light at all, that's for sure.

Nether does this thread, sadly.

Maryz · 30/08/2011 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tortington · 30/08/2011 18:48

i just ate sausages and the dog watched me.

so i curled my lip in a sneaky smile whilst i took the last bite...looker her right in the eye.

then....

i licked my lips.

Mwahaaaaa

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 18:49

Custy
You meanie.

Watch your back, she will not forget this.

coccyx · 30/08/2011 18:50

Get a grip. don't go to that section . some dog owners need a kick up the arse and thats what they get

GiveSleepAChance · 30/08/2011 18:52

Coccyx, if in rl a widow who was not coping came to you for help would you really tell her to "Get A Grip"?

EvenLessNarkyPuffin · 30/08/2011 18:52

SilverFrog they'd ask just as people would ask if you posted in Chat about a problem. To see if there was a possible solution, and because despite what you might think, they would also be concerned for your child. Being that afraid of dogs must make it difficult and distressing for her to walk down the street - even though your dog is rehomed the world is full of dogs.

Tortington · 30/08/2011 18:59

i hate the - dont post there - don't go there, turn it off, go to another site if you don't like it comments

it is basically saying

do not challenge the status quo if you find something undesirable.

silverfrog · 30/08/2011 19:04

ELNP - but that's my point.

when I have posted about the situation (I was not foolish enough to post for advice at the time) it has been assumed that I did not try everyhtign possible.

of course it is difficult for dd1.

every time we go out we see a dog. days out are very hard.

we have been working on this with ehr for over 4 years now. it is not a quick-fix situation.

but the assumption that I did not care enough about my dog, that I shoudl have tried this or done that - as I have encountered since I rehomed my dog, is baseless. and comes form people who only seem to see it form the dog's point of view.

we were all sad to lose the dog.

but every day that she stayed here distressed my dd to the point of self harm. that was not a situation which i was prepared to let continue, and as time has hsown, we could not have worke don her phobia well enough to be able to keep the dog - where was I suppose dot have put her for the last 4 years?

and none of the conversations I have had about it, with doghouse regulars, have ever ended with a "hmm, well you obviously tried everyhting. what a shame it didn't work out" - but instead I have been castigated for not keeping my dog.

posters asking for advice are necer credited with even the slightest bit of intelligence, but it is often assumed they know nothing, have tried less, and only want the quickest, simplest, cheapest solution. which is not often the case.

Empusa · 30/08/2011 19:25

silver Your experience isn't everyone's experience though. There are plenty of us who have been hugely grateful for the support and advice in the DH

As with any forum where there is a large variety of people, experiences vary.

silverfrog · 30/08/2011 19:29

there are far more posters on this thread who have said they will avoid it forever and a day rather than post for advice, and that they have read far too many flamings on htere to be comfortable with asking for advice than there are posters who have been helped.

and that says a lot in itself, really.

Empusa · 30/08/2011 19:32

It's a pretty busy forum though, so I think we can safely say there are many more who don't feel that way. They just haven't joined this thread, and I can't say I blame them.

wordfactory · 30/08/2011 19:38

I think any section where the vast majority of posters to whom it applies say they avoid it like the plague...is getting it very very wrong imho.

OverthehillsandfarawayNL · 30/08/2011 19:46

We can't 'safely' say anything of the sort. And actually we don't need to.

The thread linked to below is disgraceful and more than speaks for itself.

Tsil · 30/08/2011 19:47

I've read all 15 pages and some posts from both sides make me sick. Why is we can see eye to eye with different cultures, agree to disagree on the way people raise their children or even feed their children. Yet when people express an opinion over pets all hell breaks loose and people can not accept that not everyone has the same opinion but it doesn't mean it is wrong and they should be berated for it.

I have always looked at having a dog as the same as adopting or fostering the sentient being is not your flesh and blood but is a part of your family and loved no matter what just as you would try to save them all in fire.

As for the manner of posting, yes some people's tone is strong and sometimes it is too much but I think it is more the exception than the rule and yes I suppose I think some people are too sensitive ( not woman losing husband thread)