rehomed our puppy and feel devastated

[ItsMyTurn]

that's it

feel so bad for my dc's, especially ds - age 4. He doesn't seem upset but I am so upset for him.

Why?

You made in your judgement what you believe was the best decision, you have got to believe that now and move forward I remember your posts and you were miserable with him x

ellie - i was not miserable at Tilly herself. She was the most adorable, bright, funny puppy - perfect for our family. I don't understand the feeligs that she brought out in me though. I felt so extremely anxious, depressed and stressed. She was just hte perfect pet at the wrong time in my life. She hs gone to afantastic home - a childless couple with a dog with cancer who want a companion for their ill dog an a puppy to ease their pain. I know she will be happy - but I feel so guilty. It is consuming me

valhalla - that's a bit strong! I obvioulsy feel for Tilly, I feel sad that she may be confused and lost - she was a beautiful. pup who was/is loved by al lwho live here. .I have rehomed her through a professional source. My sister - an owner of two dogs - uses a professional dog walker who runs a dog creche and devotes her life to dogs. She has rehomed Tilly to one of her clients who she sees weekly. I can keep in regular touch with her new owners through the dog walker and my sister

I read your other threads too, but the last I heard, you'd decided to keep Tilly?? I'm sorry but I don't understand how on the one hand you say you're devastated, the kids are upset, she is a lovely dog, perfect for your family etc.. so why have you got rid of her? I know the early days can be tough, but as a family you could have got through it together, couldn't you?
I'm sorry if this makes you feel worse, because I remember that you've had lots of other stuff going on for you recently, but I also see valhalla's point.
I really hope, for Tilly's sake, her re-homing works out.

clam - i wasn't just 'not coping' I was actually falling apart. I had wanted a dog for years but dh never did. he passed away last year unexpectedly after a traumatic few years with him suffering from depression, anger issues and alcoholism. It has been horrendous. I moved to be nearer our family after he died, got dc's into new schools/playschools etc. It has been a very very difficult time for us. I got out puppy after careful consideration - i am a sahm and an animal lover. What I hadn't bargained on was the overwhelming feelings that having a new puppy would bring about in me. It was like a mountain collapsing in on me. Not the normal stress of puppy ownership. I was crying every day - I was not together at all. It struck me how difficult everything is to do alone. Such a massive responsibility which tried to take on wholeheartedly. I tried my very best but it was killling me. Whatever I did I was doomed to bring sadness about again adn I didn;t want that. I was a nervous wreck around my children not wanting to hurt them. I thought i had made teh right decision getting Tilly but it was emotionally crippling and my dc's were aware of it - not good for them. Tilly was perfectly well cared for and loved. I am devastated because I didn;t want to rehome her but was SERIOUSLY losing hte plot. I am sorry - really sorry. I will stay away from MN in future and keep my angst to myself

I am sorry you are going through this. Its sounds to me like you are having a delayed reaction to your husbands death and the stress you suffered in the lead up to that.
A little compassion towards a fellow human being would not be out of place Valhala.

It sounds as though you have made the right choice for you and your family. You couldn't have foreseen this. I do appreciate that many people just get pets on a whim without proper consideration but I don't think you did that.

itsmyturn I am very sorry for the loss of your DH.

You say you got a puppy after careful consideration, but I do not believe you did. For a start, had you considered it carefully, you would have done your research properly and know that buying from such a breeder was a real no no, not least because as you have found out, these sorts of people do not care less once the cash is handed over. Had you have gone to a proper and decent breeder, not only may they have sussed your situation and suggested (after the questioning they would have done) that maybe now wasn't the right time for you, but they would have been available on the phone pretty much 24/7 for support after the puppy had left thema nd you may not have found yourself in this situation. Had you still felt there was no option but to rehome the puppy (that you'd only had a few weeks!) then they would have taken it back and either kept it or found a suitable home for it.

I don't believe that a home with an elderly dog affected by cancer is the best home for a puppy either, at the very least it's extremely unfair to an old and sick dog to introduce a young, boisterous and annoying puppy, not many older dogs in that position would put up with a puppy and I hope to goodness the new home don't suddenly realise that having a puppy isn't fair on their existing dog and decide to 'get rid'.

I am not in the position that Val is in, but I too see people treating their dogs as disposable every single day and rehoming them basically because they can't be arsed to train them or walk them and yet still expect them to be magically well behaved saints. Then, they soon get another dog because they stupidly fail to see that the fault was theirs, not the dogs and they think another dog will be different. It never is...

"A little compassion towards a fellow human being would not be out of place Valhala."

Therugratrel, I don't think you've read my posts properly. Did you not see where I said that I was saving my sympathy for the dog? Did you not see the reasons why I said this?

What part of my posts would you like me to spell out to you?

What a very sad thread

ItsMyTurn I am very sorry for the loss of your dh. Having read your posts on your thread in pets it rather seems you are in a bit of a dark place at the moment. I hope you can get some RL help and support for your grief, anxiety and insomnia. I think a trip to your GP to talk about some of your symptoms wouldn't be a bad idea.

You are not in a position to be looking after a puppy, or any animal for that matter and I think your decision to rehome your puppy was a wise one.

The manner in which you rehomed it was unfortunately VERY unwise, as Valhalla has spelt out. I hope to goodness the puppy is alright.

Midori's post is spot on about what after care and support a good breeder should provide. Why do people not know this? It should be an absolute DEAL BREAKER, established before you have even laid eyes on a puppy. Makes me wonder if there should be stickies in the dog house topic.

Would have thought the last thing an elderly poorly dog would want would be a young pup!!!

OP it seems to me your feelings are all about loss and grief. Being responsible for the puppy brought out your feelings about being alone and bereft and now the puppy is no longer with you, you are experiencing loss and guilt again. I really think some counselling might help you.

i have just spoken to the dog creche owner who rehomed my puppy for me. She has assured me that all is well and Tilly is very happy. She is in regular contact with the new owners and has known them for 8 years. The adult dog is happy to have Tilly to play with and tilly appears happy and is settling in well. The creche owner does not make money from rehoming -it is her lifes work to see dogs happy and wel cared for. I trust her implicitly and she has said I can ring her any time with any concerns/thoughts.

Slubber - I have three cats and two chidlren and am very capable of looking after them all. I did not take this decision lightly -hence my feelings of guilt and remorse at rehoming. It was a tough, tough decision but I simply could not cope and it was affecting family life

saffron - thankn you. You are most probably right. It certaiinly made me feel very vulnerable and alone. Not sure quite why but it affected me in a dramatic way

Sorry, did not mean to imply you were not looking after your cats (or children) properly, just that you should not be getting any more pets for the forseeable future.

It's good to hear that Tilly is happy.

I do agree with the previous posters that have said that rehoming a puppy with an elderly and ill dog sounds like a recipe for disaster. I hope that the dog creche lady is available to help should things go pear shaped.

ItsMyTurn I'm sorry to hear what a difficult time you've had. Guilt is really a wasted emotion, turn it into something good or it will consume you. What's done is done and all that.

On a general note about the strong feelings expressed in this post- whilst I agree totally with all the sentiments about dogs not being disposable etc, it seems that it is difficult for people to rehome dogs sensibly isn't it? If you approach a rescue, you risk them being PTS sometimes don't you? Certainly you're going to get a piece of someone's mind for how stupid you were to get a dog. I can't imagine how difficult it is to work in rescue, and what the solution is to stop people from getting puppies in the first place. If only it were simple eh? Interestingly other countries in Europe have places where people can leave their babies anonymously, which the UK doesn't have. I don't believe it leads to a higher rate of infant abandonment. Do you think the same idea should exist for pets?

Having a dog PTS is not the worst thing that can happen to it. Having it passed on from one unsuitable home to another, suffering and turning into a real problem dog is a much worse fate. Having said that, most rescues should be able to rehome such a young puppy sucessfully, so I really don't think these worries are justified.

ItsMyTurn I'm really sorry for the very very difficult time you have gone through. I hope that you can feel that the rehoming (which was very conscientiously done) lets a weight come off your shoulders and that you feel better soon.