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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

mn hq, is it really wise to have topics that are deamed so agressive/scary that most members don't want to post there?

429 replies

wannaBe · 29/08/2011 13:40

have just read a thread in the doghouse topic, and posts from a few posters saying that they never post there due to the agressive responses there.

Now, I know that hiding a topic could always be an option, but is it really in the spirit of mn to have separate topics that are deamed so unwelcoming/agressive that few posters actually want to post there?

I can of course see the need for certain sections, conception/sn/relationships, but it just seems against everything that mn stands for to let a topic exist that is frequented only by a few individuals while the majority feel that the responses there are agressive enough to warrant not feeling comfortable there.

Why can't we just go back to having a pets topic?

OP posts:
TheFlyingOnion · 30/08/2011 17:55

erm, fido is happy to hang around as long as he's being fed, cheria.

you are confusing dogs (no rights or responsibilities) with humans (rights and responsibilities)

V philosophical...

chibi · 30/08/2011 17:56

but that's the thing, empusa, if you had turned out to be horrible cruel bastards there is absolutely nothing your dog could do about it

i am not advocating that pet owners should let individual animals with cancer suffer, or cease to care for them just that i find the concept of pet ownership problematic

NormaStanleyFletcher · 30/08/2011 17:57

There is now a thread about a thread about a thread - on which I have posted:-

As a complete outsider:-

I do not own a dog - DH wants one but I will not have one as it would not be fair (both FT work)

I love dogs

I have seen responses on here that may aim to educate, but go in, based only on the OP with CAPITALS, (shouting doncha know) and Angry and Hmm .

It is almost like they should know everything that you know, and be castigated for doing something less than perfect. A more measured approach, in lower case, with a few [smiles] may be better, with people who are usually asking about animals that they love, even if you find them a bit misguided.

and:-

Ignorance is not solved/combated by CAPITALS and angry faces. You alienate the very people you want to help or teach. That is if you want to help or teach rather than browbeat and judge.
HTH

Empusa · 30/08/2011 17:57
ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 30/08/2011 17:57

See, I think of pets as family. But they are transient members. I don't expect to celebrate their 21st, for example. So I love my animals totally, but I expect to lose them at some point. Well, with the exception perhaps of a parrot. I can't even think about losing people that I love. So I don't equate animals with people, because they do not live as long and cannot form the same complex bonds. Doesn't mean I don't love them, though.

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 17:57

Intelligence
Some people have a high "coping" threshold, some a lower one.

What is better? To rehome the dog or for the mum to end up in hospital because she flips?

I have friends who barely cope with one child. Others have four and would love a fifth.

TheFlyingOnion · 30/08/2011 17:57

"i find the concept of pet ownership problematic"

This has all got a bit too twilight-zone for me....

Empusa · 30/08/2011 17:58

chibi And as a pet lover I, of course, cannot stand people like that. But saying that all pets are similar to slaves due to some fuckwits is weird.

intelligenceitself · 30/08/2011 17:58

The point is they don't need help with a cat. They need help with their feeble whingy personality

chibi · 30/08/2011 17:58

ok so pet owners, what are animals (as a class, not your own personal pet) getting out of pet ownership

or alternatively

if thousands of years of domestication had not brought us to the point of having tame pet animals, would you advocate that we create them by deliberately breeding out of those animals the very characteristics which would allow them to lead independent lives sans owner?

JodieHarsh · 30/08/2011 17:59

I want a parrot .

I would teach him to quote PG Wodehouse.

Now that really is wanting a plaything.

Lougle · 30/08/2011 17:59

Just came back to this thread (small children).

Firstly, a sincere apology for the short-sightedness I showed earlier, by posting that I thought two posters were the same person. I posted in a reactionary fashion, without thinking through the implications for the poster involved. I did retract it swiftly after, but damage done, granted. Thanks to MNHQ for deleting the post, even though I didn't see the fallout quickly enough to request it myself.

Moving on, I agree with Wannabe. This isn't a thread about a poster. It is a thread about the culture of a subsection of MN. Having said that, some posters' names are more memorable than others. It is inevitable that if the user tag is relevant to the section of MN the poster is posting on, the name is more memorable.

I don't think the situation on 'The Doghouse' is like AIBU at all. I can count on one hand the number of threads I have posted on AIBU. Mainly because it is renowned as a section for controversy. There is a very clear statement at its head, saying 'THIS SECTION IS CONTROVERSIAL, POST AT YOUR PERIL' .

New posters see a section entitled 'The Doghouse'. Not 'The Animal Rights and Welfare Activists' zone' or 'The Rescue Workers' Refuge' or any other such title. It is 'a place to talk about all things dog'. There are no disclaimers, nor warnings, that you are walking into a hotly defended area.

The doghouse is unlike other areas. Because of the difficulties with people discussing terminations/abortions on conception threads, etc., MNHQ created an 'Antenatal Tests and Choices' section. No one goes to that area of MN without knowing that they will be exposed to discussions around this sensitive subject.

'Feminism/Women's rights' - again an area which by its very title, warns you that there will be strong viewpoints.

'The doghouse' - come and discuss your doggie issues. Except, that should you dare to admit that you value your dog as a canine species, and not a human being, should you dare to admit certain things about your aquisition of your dog, etc., you are in for a beating.

The time when people's care for human beings is outweighed by their love of dogs, is a sad time.

Dogs are important, of course they are. I love mine to bits. But out there somewhere, is a woman whose life fell apart, and she came to this forum for support and was ripped apart. I would imagine she has not forgotten.

Lots of posters who post for advice about less than ideal situations, already know they have got it wrong. They don't need someone using them as a live example of how the world mistreats its dogs.

TheFlyingOnion · 30/08/2011 17:59

and that is exactly the problem intelligence

Thank you for demonstrating it so pithily

Empusa · 30/08/2011 17:59

"ok so pet owners, what are animals (as a class, not your own personal pet) getting out of pet ownership"

Care that they wouldn't get in the wild, safety (also not likely in the wild), spoilt (in the case of my pets). They live longer and healthier lives (for the most part)

JodieHarsh · 30/08/2011 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

TheFlyingOnion · 30/08/2011 18:00

chibi my dog is getting

food
water
shelter

He doesn't really want anything else. If he would desperately like to become a lawyer or see the Solomon Islands, he has yet to articulate it to me....

GiveSleepAChance · 30/08/2011 18:01

And some twtas from the doghouse gave a recently widowed poster a real flaming when she asked for help as she really wasn't coping.

Works both ways dosen't it?

Harrasing a newly bereaved person about her fucking dog is sick.

Maryz · 30/08/2011 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 18:01

Good point, NSF.

Chickens
Daphne was ill last week. I was back and forth to the vet, and the final time I took her, I thought that she might have something wrong with her kidneys or spine. I cried all the way to the vet in case she had to be put down.

Which just goes to show that

a) I love my dog

b) I would be a shite vet cause "all" she had was a muscle strain

chibi · 30/08/2011 18:01

i am not comparing pets to slaves in the sense that pets feel anything resembling human emotions

that would be bonkers indeed, not to mention glib and offensive

the comparison is only valid in the sense that they are in an unequal power relationship where their survival depends on someone else's goodwill

silverfrog · 30/08/2011 18:02

I wouldn't post in the Doghouse if I needed to.

I have always had animals around me - growing up, as a student, and after dh and I got married. happy, healthy, well exercised and looked after animals. who were well loved.

and then I had dd1. who was fine with our dog when she was a baby, but sadly developed a phobia of dogs (at first, then extended to all animals for a while).

we tried to help her through it, but when she was unable to cope with even the thought of a dog inside the house, but in a separate room, then we rehomed our dog without hesitation.

because dd1 would always come first, and keeping the dog woudl have been detrimental to her mental health at that point.

I suspect many posters saying that their pets are equal to their children have not had to deal with a straight choice between health and happines for the child and health and happiness for the pet.

I suspect I would have been viewed as an inconsiderate, uncaring owner (to put it mildly) had I posted for advice.

JodieHarsh · 30/08/2011 18:02

My cat is getting:

Fortresses made out of old copies of the Guardian, to be destroyed at whim
A running water thing because she won't drink still water Hmm
The only catfood she deigns to eat
The fun of waking me every morning by licking my chin and sticking her paw in my mouth
Facebook Fame.

HTH Grin

Maryz · 30/08/2011 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

intelligenceitself · 30/08/2011 18:03

My friends don't fall apart because of a cat. These are exactly the type of people who don't deserve to have an animal, if you know you can't cope don't get a pet

MmeLindor. · 30/08/2011 18:03