MNHQ .. Can we talk about disability bashing?

[Brownsugarshortbread]

Over the years i have posted on and enjoyed MN.
Sadly there seems to be a growing culture of it being okay to have a go at disabilities, those who claim DLA and those who's children have 'invisable' disabilities such as ADHD and ADD.
The terms 'freak' and 'scrounger' have been batted around and comments from some posters IMO certainly boarder on harrassment and discrimination.

When certain posts or posters have been reported, some have been removed, yet a lot haven't.

And while I agree with free speech, these types of comment or reaction to these comments, are not an education for those bigoted posters. Nor do those whose lives are touched by disability wish to be used to educate those posters.

Disability Harassment

is unwanted behaviour based on disability,
impairment or additional need. Such behaviour may include comments that are patronising or objectionable to the recipient or which creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment for people with disabilities. Disability harassment includes inappropriate reference to disability, unwelcome discussion of the impact of disability, refusal to work with and exclusion of people with disabilities from social events or meetings.

"Words are used by different communities differently. For example, the Black community have in part, reclaimed the word 'nigger'. One Black person may call another a 'nigger', but you can bet your bottom dollar that a White person, no matter how friendly or close to a Black person, could call them a 'nigger' without offence taken."

More or less where I'm coming from, Lougle, actually.

My family has a particular "gallows" humour which comes from one of us being PMLD. Probably why I might use words to my family/friends in jest which at other times some may find insulting/"disablist"

*Glitterknickas"

I am rofl at that, if indeed it is directed at me. You must have got me confused with someone else...

Fair dos TFO.
I just know you were on 'that' thread, and I'm not going back to it, it's too upsetting.

considering my mother cared for 18 years (and is still, in a manner of speaking) I can be pretty sure that wasn't me...

Ok, sorry

TFO Claire K is pretty famous for her opnions and has had radio time, bit of a nasty celeb.

She called a debate on the radio that Riven was on and made comments about not leeping disabled kids alive. She is very well known indeed both on MN and outside- twitter, facebook, and the wider arena. Not Katie Price for sure but a name many will recognise on this thread.

We have the same gallows humour in fact TFO but the point is that whilst I might use it with dh in a loving environment wher there is nothing but care and nurturing for my children, it is not acceptable in any other context.

As with the N word as you said.

And I never said you were for disablism; you read far more into my post than was ever there. You made a point, I responded with examples of some of teh stuff that ahs appeared.

Indeed i followed MNHQ's education advice for which I can only apologise as it is not my job.

Peachy she sounds dreadful. I've come across people in rl who have said things like that to my face. It is

I accept that I read your post as if you were accusing me of disablism - it was an innocent mistake for which I apologise.

My (non disabled) brother and I have used this gallows humour mainly to wind my mum up since we were little, its a sort of family in joke, as in "God, even (disabled brother) could have guessed that!"

I do maintain that a lot of words are losing their original meanings and I do not find such words offensive, unless they are intended to be offensive.

Glitter - no probs

TFO, retard and spaz are not okay. In MN vain hope of educating , let me tell you why, just from where I come from.

My ds wanted to kill himself because he was constantly referred to and called a spaz and a retard by kids at school. These children thought it okay to use those words at him because it was made acceptable by their parents ( and society). When in a meeting with the parents, their attitude was: " well it doesn't mean anything, my x was just joking and we use it all the time. Get over yourselves".

Monkey see, monkey do. But with devistating consqences.
A lot of resourses used up to rectify the situation, and long term damage.

I do not understand how MNHQ can claim that they do not have double standards. That thread with the S word in the title is a perfect example - If the title had been "My dh says I run like a n**r" it would have been deleted.

Brownsugarshortbread your not wrong,
ds has told me of parents calling dd a retard and a spaz(I have never spoken to them since) I wonder what the children of the bigots on mn do, are they the ones who gawp at our kids lol.

Very likey shoesy! Very likely.

And it's not just the name calling, because once you get called names it steps up to who can beat the spaz up! Cos it's just fun and joking innit?

Broken bones, bloody noses A&E trips because a 'word' becomes a name which starts pack like abusive behaviour. if parents/society didn't make it okay, there would be less of it.

And we've also had physical and verbal assults on ds's older Nt brother, "cos your brother is a spaz freak"

Are you telling me that creature who was on the Radio came on MN?!

How the fuck did I miss that?

Brownsugar - I am with you. There is a difference between freedom of speech in terms of expressing opinions, but harrassment/discrimination is not acceptable. I don't have any family members with disabilities but wholeheartedly support what you are trying to do. I will help watch out for the kinds of threads you mention and will press "report" if I see them in future, and would urge others who "get" what you're saying to do the same. It's nothing to do with being on a high horse.. it's ignorant, wrong and incredibly hurtful. And most likely illegal.

Thank you lilo, it does mean a lot.

I am glad we got the troll post on here, I think it is a brilliant way of showing mn hq how people like to hurt and be offensive, and that all the "educating" in the world doesn't change that

She actually showed her face on MN?

What happened? I dont want to drag up anything that will upset people but I would like to know how it came about.
Was it right after the broadcast? Did she admit who she was and did she attempt to justify her vile views?

I have asked mn hq to post again on this thread, I think TFO posts show how far we have ot go, I have seen their post on the thread Lougle mentioned so they seem to enjoy causing hurt, but will mn hq care or will their freedom to offend and hurt be more important

I have de-lurked to post my support. Hope I'm not coming in too late.

I am an immigrant, part of a mixed race couple and a feminist working in a male dominated environment. At various times in my life I have been told that immigrants are beneift scroungers nicking British people's jobs, had a few racist terms chucked at me and the kids, and been asked if I slept with the boss to get my job. Clearly offensive, but I can laugh it off now.

But nothing has prepared me for being the mother of a child with SN.

In the last 2 years my world has tunred upside down. I have lost friends, but admittedly gained new ones. I have had my parenting brought into question numerous times. I have (and still do) feel guilty that I somehow caused this, or that I am not doing enough. In order to get a statement I have had to catalogue several years of my child's failings. I have pages and pages of reports from his teachers that I just can't bring myself to read. My whole well being some days hangs on whether he has had a good or bad day. You would think I would be immune to it now, but every time he has a "bad" day, it tears my soul a little more.

In my circle of friends who have children with SN I have seen relationships stressed to breaking point, and often not surviving. I have seen parents breaking down from stress. Hell, my marriage is falling apart now as a direct result of it all.

And you know what the worst bit is? I have tons of emotional support. We got a statement of 27 hrs. We are in a council that is supportive of disability, and a school that would kick out anyone that used any of the words being thrown around here. I still struggle, and there are plenty of parents who have nowhere near the support we do.

I don't have the emotional energy left over to educate people on why using spaz or mong is not on. There is plenty of education to be had by reading the SN boards, and just having a bit of decency and compassion.

And one last thing about intent: it's often said that the p* word is not offensive in Australia, and as an Aussie, I can agree to a certain extent that is true. However, that doesn't mean I can use that word in the UK or on an international site and whine that it's OK, because it's not my intent to offend.

that was a lovely post potoroo and my heart goes out to you. Just wanted to say I will be thinking of you and your family.

Potoroo, am so glad you de-lurked and posted, thank you.

( well done on getting that statement btw :) )

Thanks Brian and Brownsugar. Yes, the statement is a massive victory. I cried a bit when the lovely assistant SN head from the council rang to tell me.