Products to aid parenting that should have been invented but are just too cruel in RL

[MerlinsBeard]

I would have liked a dummy holder for keeping dummies in mouths

i would give one of my arms for some sort of harness to put DS2 in so i can brush his teeth! one that keeps him still, holds his mouth open and keeps his hands away from his face!

I'd like some kind of harness to keep dd in position when changing her nappy - it's very hard to get a cloth nappy and wrap on with her on her hands and knees, and if I'm in a hurry having a wrestling match with her is soooo frustrating. She can even roll over under the strap that come of changing tables in shops

straps that come of tables? - I meant on tables

Agre MoM - nearly resortes to sellotaping dummies in DS's mouths.
A 3rd hand for nappy changing!

A kind of hood, like the ones that birds of prey have to cover their eyes and keep them calm, to shut out light and sound so that babies don't get over stimulated and go to sleep. More portable than black out blinds.

my sis actually used to attach elastic to her Dd's dummy to keep it in her mouth as she was such a screamer. not acceptable really but boy have I been tempted when DD is hanging onto the boob all night.

children's clothes with patches of velcro so strong that you can stick them to matching velcro patches on the wall

LOL zk!!

Sticky bottles so baby can hold it!

Play pens with lids and shutters on

I'm trying out a cat net designed for a cot over the playpen for that effect, zk - to stop dd reaching between the bars and grabbing the dog's tail!

my mum used to turn mine upside down apparently when i got big enough to climb out - - thank god we didn't have a dog or I'd have been netted in too!

I ended up with a bald patch on my head where my parents used to tie a piece of hardboard on the top of my cot to stop me from climbing out. If only social services had known! My cousin had broken his arm though when he climbed out of his cot so they were just trying to protect me. I need something that gives tiny shocks to ds to stop him from touching things he shouldn't.

Actually the travel cot is a useful playpen - it has mesh sides, so paws, human and canine, can't reach through it

sticky socks would be useful, too

i forgot i started this thread - RL got in teh way!

I am sat here going oh god yes one of those lol!

A wrist band that would constantly measure the tone of a child's voice and emit a small, non-harmful but annoying electric shock when it detected a whining tone.

Too cruel?!

Love it, issymum!
along the same lines - I have often wished for a collar that will give an electric shock when the child exceeds a certain decibel level.

put me down for two of those, issymum.

a bed harness, bit like a highchair harness but obv. to keep them in bed...
I remember seeing a fitted sheet with a hole for the head once in a French mail order catalogue - basically, you put the child to bed, fit sheet over child and hey presto - a good night's sleep for all!

Sleeping tablets....oh yes, I forgot they do exist in real life don't they

Shame it's not considered ethical

love the idea of the electric chock wristband - some sort of electric prod to assist in making the morning get ready to go out routine would be great to

geekgrrl - are you sure those sheets were for the baby? In a continental arty/history movie I saw once, a sheet with a whole was used to protect a woman's modesty during sex

and I can't spell, either - meant hole!!!