Products to aid parenting that should have been invented but are just too cruel in RL

[MerlinsBeard]

I would have liked a dummy holder for keeping dummies in mouths

i would give one of my arms for some sort of harness to put DS2 in so i can brush his teeth! one that keeps him still, holds his mouth open and keeps his hands away from his face!

Already invented....it's called duct tape.

roskva, it was definitively for children, I think it was even cot-sized - saw it in a la redoute or verbaudet catalogue or something like that

A pause button for when you want to finish your sentence before being interrupted

cryogenic stasis for when you want to go away and have no-one to have them

a thick glass divide between driver and passengers in the back so you can cut off 'are we there yet?' before they get to
'there'

a cattle prod (oh that's been invented)

love the wristband, I'd buy one

www when does your shop open?

Do the wristbands take the place of me saying "hurry up" 200 times every morning? if so, I want one now

Baby bungee - tie your toddler to a handy wrist strap and if they wander too far, you hit the switch and they fly to your heels

cattleprod........

Dh is still convinced about his idea for a velcro wall. If dd plays up, on goes the "special suit" and up she goes on the wall until she's had time to think through the error of her ways...

Geekgrrl, I remember seeing that sheet too! Never heard of anyone buying one though!

You could try buying a London black cab, Wickedwaterwitch

I like the velcro wall idea - wonder if I could adapt that for the changing mat

I'd lurve a black cab, they're one of my favourite things! (it's www here in new clothes, do you like them?)

I'd also like a magic finger thing where you just click your fingers and - poof! - they just disappear. You know they're safe but all of a sudden they're just not there. Dh and I sometimes do this gesture if we're having a romantic moment of the type that, pre-kids, would have meant straight down to it or up to bed but is now prohibited. They don't currently disappear, obv.

an 'off' button to just turn them off!!

A tablet to feed them so we dont go thru the hysterics everytime!

I like the new incarnation, MotherSuperior

I think I need to invent a nappy that does up on the back - dd is very determined not to lie on her back on the changing mat....

A cage to stop dd2 making a mess in her room

Someone should invent those felt tip pens where the lids just flip off, i'm constantly throwing away pens with lost lids. Have they already been invented?

A device fitted to front door that when a visiting child crossed the threshold they would be given a temporay implant that would

prevent them from turning their nose up at food you give then for tea

would give them manners

would stop them from annoying and winding up your youngest child

would prevent them from turning out every toy box and leaving contents discarded on floor

would play quietly with your child , never shout and scream and really annoy you.

You can tell who had a play date tonight cant you !

A dropper bottle of liquid,which when added to food that makes it non stainable on dc's clothes.

or failing that Washing powder that actually works!

Maybe you should just buy one of these willywonka

rustybear - please tell me that's a wind up?!

No, it's a hang up!!!!
Apparently it is a genuine product.....