Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Shopping

From everyday essentials to big purchases, swap tips and recommendations. For the best deals without the hassle, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Prams for boys

42 replies

speedymama · 04/09/2006 09:23

In the recent ELC catalogue, I noticed that they are now selling strollers for boys. DH and DM say no way should I even contemplate buying that for our 2yo DTS. However, when I pick them up from nursery they are happily pushing prams and strollers around. They just see it as a toy. However, I guess there is no getting away from the fact that it is socially acceptable for only girls to own a pram.

OP posts:

LadyTophamHatt · 04/09/2006 09:25

my ds3 has a buggy...he LOVES it.

probably the most palyed with toy.

He'd take it out everywhere if he could.....

PandaG · 04/09/2006 09:26

I bought one for my DS complete with doll, as he regularly played with them at toddlers. I also bought him a hard bodied doll when I was pg with no2, so he could bath his dolly while I (or more usually DH) was bathing the baby. I think it is perfectly ok, but appreciate some will have a different opinion.

Megglevache · 04/09/2006 09:27

Message withdrawn

LadyTophamHatt · 04/09/2006 09:28

i have to say DH was horrified when I bought it for him (it was an xmas present).

he soome changed his mind when he saw how much he loved it.

Mum2FunkyDude · 04/09/2006 09:29

It's being able to make the thing move!!!!

Why don't you get them a trolley with a handlebar that doesn't look like a stroller?
Like this

LadyTophamHatt · 04/09/2006 09:31

well...the main reason M2FD is thats 40 quid and the buggy I got ds3 was a fiver!

Megglevache · 04/09/2006 09:32

Message withdrawn

wheelybug · 04/09/2006 09:32

all the toddler boys I know have them - with dolls too. In fact, I stalled on buying dd one because of they were seen as a 'girls' toy so i bought her a lue one rather than a pink one . TBH I really can't see why, in this day and age, they are seen as 'girls' toys. After all, doesn't your dh push the buggy for the DT's ??

wheelybug · 04/09/2006 09:33

that's a Blue one, rather than lue !

Mum2FunkyDude · 04/09/2006 09:35

NO,NO girls...it was only an example. I'm sure you can find one cheaper. Even ask hubby to build a wooden one.

lazycow · 04/09/2006 10:05

Sorry - exactly why is that?

Ds has a buggy I bought second hand for £6 and he often wants to take it to the pak to push around, He also likes pushing it around a lot while walking. He also likes to put his dolly that wears a pink dress in it .

He is almost 2 years old but I can't see me stopping him using this until he wants to stop.

LadyTophamHatt · 04/09/2006 10:10

ds3's is currently filthy form being used as wheelbarrow in the garden.

the elastic need replacing too because he loads it up FULL of stones and stuff but also because he sits in to to watch telly sometime!

Original poster

speedymama · 04/09/2006 10:58

I have bought them each a shopping trolley which they fill up and wheel around quite happily. DH just thinks that owning a pram will challenge their masculinity and DM has the old fashion view that boys must be boys. My FIL bought them each a toy machine gun and I had to bite my lips because I was the only one to be unhappy about it.

To be fair to DH, he does not mind me buying them a vacuum cleaner because they love playing with the real thing. So I just need to find a decent one to buy and this will be their christmas present.

How does one challenge these macho stereotypes when you are in the minority. DH, DM and PIL just don't believe that boys should play with girly things. Interestingly, they see no problem with them playing with their teaset/picnic set.

OP posts:

Original poster

speedymama · 04/09/2006 11:00

ELC also sell dolls for boys (dressed in blue). When I mentioned that I might that for them - well, you can imagine the response!

OP posts:

alexsmum · 04/09/2006 11:06

ignore them and go ahead and do what you want to do.my ds has a pram and a doll, and a cooker and a tea set and a till and shop stuff.men look after babies and cook food and go shopping, while i don't see many men walking down the high street toting a machine gun.
i find this kind of attitude so archaic it's laughable.
if your son wants a pram then get hm one.

Original poster

speedymama · 04/09/2006 11:10

Alexsmum - you had me in stitches with not seeing many men walking down the street toting a machine gun

TBH, DH and DM would have a megafit if I bought the twins a pram and dolly each. It's so silly.

OP posts:

alexsmum · 04/09/2006 11:16

so what if they have a fit? if you go along with that kind of attitude for a quiet life then you are condoning it. It's now at this stage of life that we start making our boys into the men we would like them to be.
If you had a girl would you let her play with trains,cars,dumper trucks? or is it just dolls all the way?
if they get cross they will get over it.

lazycow · 04/09/2006 11:28

tbh I see speedymama's dilema. Dh is absolutely fine about ds having the dolly and pram and we will probably buy him a kitchen etc for his birthday.

However if Dh were not happy with this I would find it difficult as his wishes hold the same weight as mine do. This is what makes parenting such minefield. I think that a vacuum cleaner and a trolley are good compromises especially if you don't feel that strongly about the boys having prams.

Does your dh help with the twins/ push them in the pushchair, cuddle them etc? Maybe you could start a conversation with him as to what exactly your dh is worried about.

Maybe your dh is worried that this is a tough world and the best way he can think to protect them is to ensure they don't get 'picked on' You may find you agree with him in which case the problem is solved as you can both decide 'no pram' or it may stengthen your feeling that they should be allowed prams.

This is a small thing but it is the beginning of some important future decisions about the type of boys/men you want to raise in your family so it is worth being clear with your dh as to the real reasons for buying/not buying a pram for your ds.

MrsCapedCrusader · 04/09/2006 11:34

God, ds2 loves his pushchair, albeit a blue and green one. Fills it up with rocks and his doll- gasp!

And sometimes ds1 aks me to put nail varnish on his toes, and I do. DH doesn't mind at all, can;'t see why he would, and NO it's not because I want a girl, I don't.

lazycow · 04/09/2006 11:38

I'm thinking of buying ds some children's make-up next year when is 3 as he is obsessed by mine and it is nearly all ruined now [sob emoticon needed]

alexsmum · 04/09/2006 11:40

ds's doll pram is red and blue and cost a fiver.the doll is dressed in his old baby clothes.

Blu · 04/09/2006 11:43

DS had a cheap buggy to push his bears - and doll in. He loved it, how could it possibly challenge his masculinity since he has seen his Dad - and all his friend's dads push small children around in prams all his life!!!

I despair sometimes. We know whose wives will be on MN in 30 years times repeating all our cliched old threads 'Am I being unreasonable...DH doesn't lift a finger in the house' etc etc. And their wives, your DIL's will be pointing the finger at you lot! Deservedly!

Blu · 04/09/2006 11:44

('you lot' who pander to this 'challenge to his masculinity' etc, and allow outdated, small minded prejudices to shape your boys' enthusiasms! Not those of you buying the buggies etc)

Original poster

speedymama · 04/09/2006 11:49

When DH was at primary school, he was small for his age and the older girls use to bully him. One of the stories that they spread about him was that he played with dolls. He found that humiliating and the other kids use to tease him mercilessly. I think that is what is driving his decision.

I don't want to buy the pram and doll because it would send the message that I did not respect his opinion. DH is very hands on, pushes the pram, changes nappy, bathes, reads, play etc. He believes that women are equal to men and should be treated so. He also believes that some beliefs are immutable and one of those is that boys do not play with dolls.

OP posts:

alexsmum · 04/09/2006 11:54

times have changed so much now though and boys do play with dolls now.as a parent you sometimes have to let go of your baggage and walk away from it otherwise you are end up giving it to your kids to carry.(iyswim)

Flip

1 2