AIBU to feel uneasy they kept this intimate incident from me

[ItsMayHem2]

Hi all, name changed to ask this question, but I have a dilemma and I want to know if I’m over reacting, and I’m hoping the famous ‘sex people’ might give me a balanced view.

basically, my friend often crashes at ours if she misses her train home. This has happened for years with no issue. About a year ago, apparently, she walked in on my husband who WFH, having a wank. Not necessarily a big deal, neither of them are bothered after a bit of initial embarrassment … but neither told me. Now I’m struggling with the fact they’ve kept an intimate secret. It feels like a betrayal but my husband thinks I’m overthinking it. Since I found out, I can’t be intimate with him and he thinks this is an over reaction. So AIBU? How can I get past this?

Another male perspective here. If this happened to me, I don't think I would have been too bothered beyond the initial shock and embarrassment and I would hope that the friend would also be able to laugh it off without giving it too much thought. There's no way I would tell my missus as I would feel a bit embarrassed and just want to forget it.

I think the next time the friend and I saw each other it might be slightly awkward but I could easily see that a year on we would be able to have a joke about it, but obviously my partner would be oblivious. I honestly don't think there's anything in this at all as I could easily see myself in the same position without having done anything wrong (beyond not ensuring that I was alone).

If your only problem is that you weren't told at the time then I think it's an overreaction on your part OP.

Yes OP once it's coming, it's coming! 😅He hasn't lied to you