Is it socially acceptable for women to admit they love sex?

[Sexchair]

There's a sexchair thread on AIBU.
My first thought was ooh that might help with my aching hips when I'm trying to have epically glorious sex. I certainly didn't think all the silly things that people are posting on there. It's no wonder that there are so many mismatched sex drives in relationships when women (I'm assuming the posts about knitting and cups of tea are written by women) have such a low opinion of it. Is it not socially acceptable for women to admit that they bloody love sex like I do?

Well a lot of women have had no sexual experiences that weren’t abusive, violent or coercive, so can you blame them for their ‘silly’ preferences for knitting and cups of tea?

A lot of us enjoy sex when the sex is good, but it so seldom has been that you stop wanting it.

I’m glad it’s such a reliably mind-blowing experience for you. That makes you lucky, not a better or less ‘silly’ person than other women, or some sort of outsider maverick.

Well saying you can knit or drink tea whilst having sex on a sex chair is a bit silly @VoltaireMittyDream. I'm sorry it touched a nerve for you though.

I did not suggest that I was better? I asked if, as a women, it was socially unacceptable to love sex?

I’ve always enjoyed sex, in my brief sexually suppressed marriage in my twenties I presumed that was the way things were until my awakening of sorts.
Yes it’s wained a bit in my later years but I still enjoy the physical contact & intimacy.
Is it socially acceptable? Don’t care to be honest, what I will say is female colleagues at more than one job have sought my opinion/advice with regard to their sex lives (or rather lack of) knowing my attitude.

OP you say here that you love sex. Where IRL do you say that out loud?
Would one tell one's parents or children (if adult of course)?
I have told some of my friends, some have admitted that they do as well.

I'm very open about it and get eye rolls and disbelief. Even on an anonymous public forum such as this, most of the posters on that thread are making derogatory jokes.

Friends send me 'hilarious' memes of anything at all sex related.
I feel like I'm in the minority.

Read the newspapers, especially Times/Guardian online. It's very common for them to run stories about women and sex, divorced women in their 40s/50s/60s in particular, and how these women have enjoyed good sex lives since their divorces or separations. Young women seem to have no problem talking about their active sex lives, and good for them.

Talking about sex is difficult for everyone because sex is (for those who want it) such an elemental and (I would say) primitive desire. I realise the following is a generalisation, however: those who have good, active sex lives tend to feel alive and full of energy; those who want an active sex life and can't have one for whatever reason - well, let's say they feel something's missing in their life and, depending on their personal circumstances, it's either something they'd quite like but don't get, like four weeks' holiday in the Maldives, or it drives them towards depression. I occasionally talk about sex to my (male, like I am) friends, but it's a sensitive topic. Like, I'm an unwilling celibate, so when my friend has a sexual relationship, he may want to tell me about it, but he knows it'll accentuate the lack in my life.

And if you think it's socially unacceptable for women to state they love sex, read the threads on this topic, although I have to say speaking anonymously is not the same as speaking in real life. He says, anonymously.

I think it's increasingly acceptable for women to say they like sex in arenas like a girls night out, in a Consmo or Guardian opinion poll, or on the MN Sex forum. (Not so much at a PTA fundraiser or by the coffee machine at work.)
At the same time, it seems increasingly acceptable for women to say they don't like sex, and it's undoubtedly more acceptable for women to say they don't like men.
Opposing factions are increasingly critical of eachother and the internet encourages people to get angry, hyperbolic and less tolerant.

Oh I do read the threads on here and have done for years. (I name change every time I start a thread)

Men are expected to say they love sex. Women are expected to say they don't.

But it shouldn't just be 'acceptable' for women to like sex @mnmnddddd
It's like it's something that has to be kept a secret both IRL and on everywhere on MN except the Sex threads

I think it is becoming more socially acceptable. Toys are openly available and discussed when they certainly weren’t when I was younger. Beyond that, I still think we’re judged for our sexual desires

I love sex. You are missing the point . Many women are traumatised from previous violence/rape.

I'm going on a fourth date with a man next week. We are going back to his house. If I knew the sex will be great I would be so excited. However I can't possibly know how it will be. Men have the physical upper hand in sex. Women are more vulnerable. I don't know if it is going to be Good sex or awful violent sex. And so I am a bit worried

For starters MN contains a lot of serious posts from women beyond knitting and cups of tea (as the OP puts it), secondly knitting is a skill, don’t knock it.

Moving on, l am lucky l was brought up in a home where sex was not seen a taboo. Mum was annoyed when she first found out l was having sex, not that l was having sex per se, but that l hadn’t confided in her. My mum (now deceased) was the one my friends would turn to when they couldn’t discuss matters with their own parents.

We are still in a world where by many, sex is seen as something that a woman “gives” to a man. In addition we are told that “naice girls” don’t; l’ve even been called names on MN. Throw in the risk of unwanted pregnancy to that equation and you have a problem. Then women have additional safety issues to contend with.

We often discuss sex in my close female friendship group and yes we are quite positive about it.

But in general terms, there is no need to shout from the rooftops. Actions speak louder than words, even without your clothes on, it’s all about passion, discretion and privacy.

@Sexchair Acceptable was your word, not mine.
Female desire, sexuality, pleasure and empowerment are celebrated far more now than I remember them ever being in the last half century.
Whether it's problematic to discuss sex in the middle of Sainsbury's or on a sex board is different from whether liking sex is acceptable. Talking about sex has always been a taboo (except in @StarlightLady's mum's kitchen 🤣).

She supported many a teenager who had hormones bubbling.

For starters MN contains a lot of serious posts from women beyond knitting and cups of tea (as the OP puts it), secondly knitting is a skill, don’t knock it.

OP is making reference to specific comments made by women who don’t seem to enjoy the sex they are having, indicating a preference to be able to get on with their knitting during.

@moderate - I realise that, thank you. A lot of women put up with bad sex.

I don’t really understand why it matters? I do love it but I definitely don’t feel the need to tell anyone unless they are my sexual partner or a potential one.

I realise that, thank you. I’m not sure you do understand what I mean by “specific” though.

I do.

I realise you think so, thank you.

One interesting point that I think chimes with the OP's post, is this:

A lot of people on Mumsnet and in real life, seem to come across as threatened by those women in their 40s, 50s and 60s who still do like sex.

British culture on this topic in particular seems absurd. You're meant to be catching as many men as possible in your teens and 20s at uni, just because of low self esteem, and then complaining that all of them are useless and not good for anything or don't know how to give.

Then you meet your "life partner" in your 30s, settle down, but you've never had the confidence to actually explore what you like or want, so it ends up with about 5-10 years of a sex life before you get bored and give up.

This is so, so common in the UK.

It mattered to me specifically yesterday when I was reading that sexchair thread. Hundreds of comments making allegedly witty and hilarious jokes about sex and their general dislike of it, made me think about it.

I couldn't buy a vibrator from a high street shop 30+ years ago (unless it was a sex shop/Ann Summers) so things have moved on there at least.

If you are worried, then please don't go back to his house x

I was UK born but brought up in France (due to Dad’s job), attitudes in France are quite different to the UK, but very much focus on privacy. The French are also more tactile as a nation and seem to have fewer hang ups when it comes to sex.

Remember though there are many who have met their “life partner” who, for various reasons went on to discover they were not quite that. From those, more women (often more confident this time around) enjoyed a new road to discovery in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond.

It matters not so much at an individual level but a societal one. The problem is the imbalance in the way society judges sexual appetite differently for men and women.